Both parents work, afterschool care closes at 6PM - what options?

[Anonymous]

Also, your kids are not babies. Your kids can tell you about their day and the babysitter. I also think taking your kids to the library at 6pm is a terrible idea. FYI it will be hard to find someone who will want to work 1 hour or less per day. I had a hard enough time finding someone for 3 hours per day. You should get someone to meet your kid at bus stop and go home.

[Anonymous]

Our school started offering aftercare until 6:30 - may be worth asking since there may be other parents who have a tough time getting there reliably by 6 too - or if you're able to go the in-home route, think about getting a drop-cam or other way to video monitor - I would be honest about it and don't hide it - it's helpful for security issues when no one is home too, but it can give you peace of mind, and you can use it to check on your kid to make sure she's doing her homework, etc.

[Anonymous]

My kid loves playing with friends at after care. Maybe you could do 1-2 days of aftercare and pick up by 6:00 on those days, then hire a sitter for the other days and have your kid go straight home after school? Good luck, OP.

[Anonymous]

You should find an aftercare with longer hours. Daycares and tae kwon do places have them.

[Anonymous]

I think this job is not the right fit for you right now and you should looks for something else. Like PPs said, those of us in two WOH parent households have either built up their credibility over the years, which allows them flexibility, or sacrifice pay or prestige for flexibility (sometimes both). And we use those daycare centers and/or babysitters that you think are beneath you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this job is not the right fit for you right now and you should looks for something else. Like PPs said, those of us in two WOH parent households have either built up their credibility over the years, which allows them flexibility, or sacrifice pay or prestige for flexibility (sometimes both). And we use those daycare centers and/or babysitters that you think are beneath you.

This is OP's problem in a nutshell. She needs to get over her fears and do the spade work to find a suitable sitter/nanny.

[Anonymous]

OP, I don't have any new suggestions, but I am surprised by your view of baby sitters and nannies. I have been a SAHM in arlington and DC for 5 years and have never seen a nanny do anything even boarding on abusive. I spend every day out an about with my kids at play grounds, story times, rec centers, you name it, and see tons of kind, patient, loving nannies. Most are much more patient than I am and I sometimes ask for advice! You could also post on your neighborhood list serve to see if there are any SHAMs who wouldn't mind watching your kid for an hour or two. Maybe one of her friend's parents? I occassionally have a neighbor's daughter over after school, she plays with my kids and I cook and get them dinner. They have a HS student watch her for an hour every day but I am happy to fill in occassionally.

[Anonymous]

I was a SAHM for nine years and saw many wonderful nannies. One of them has become a trusted, beloved babysitter to my children on a regular basis. Trust your instincts, check references and be vigilant, and then when you find a sitter you love, overpay her and treat her very very well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I see many parents seem to have the work flexibility we yearn. DH travels quite a bit, and I've been told to be prepared for long hours when a project gets big. I was a SAHM for 4 years, and only recently, found a job. It's been hard finding a job after being at home for some time, and now, things are very new to us. I'm wondering people are so quick to judge - we have no choice with our work hours, and going in early and leaving early is not an option, as bosses meetings are held in the evenings (and we can't say sorry, I need to pick my kid up - unless you want to be fired). Also, while i was a SAHM, I've seen too many nannies/babysitters leaving kids on their own, not having a care in the world, being rude to the kids, and with the most disgusting hygiene (of course, working parents don't know this). It's almost gone phobic to leave my kid with a stranger. Some of you mothers think you have the best nanny in the world, then you're lucky. Others are not so lucky (and the worse is that they don't even know it).

The reason why I suggested library is because DD loves the library, and she loves to be read to. She's one of those who'll devour 10 Dr Seuss books if you'll let her....

Thanks for the input everyone. We'll figure out a way somehow.

OP - there are a lot of good sitters and nannies out there. It does take some effort to find them but you can't have it both ways. Either you trust no one and stay home with your child or you do the work to get her good care. Not sure why you would believe there are good after care workers but not good nannies who probably make a lot more?

Anyway - I agree it's cruel to make your kid go to the library after school and after care because you are phobic. Get over it and hire someone. We have an amazing nanny to our older kids. Also, it's not a baby. A school aged child will be able to pick up on rudeness and incompetence. You will be able to tell very quickly if your child likes the sitter or is unsure/scared and if she is, easy - stop the situation and find someone else. But we found our nanny on our neighborhood list serv and knew the family who had her before us so that was comforting. Ask around and maybe you can do a share. Especially in Arlington, a lot of parents work. You could do something like after care 2x a week and make a deal with your company that on those days you have to stagger you schedule, and then PT nanny 3x a week or something.

[Anonymous]

You are an extremely selfish person.

[Anonymous]

I'm a SAHM and witnessed plenty of bad parenting as well as bad nannies. I actually think the overwhelmed moms with more than 2 kids are often the worst. Mom is frazzled and kids are out of control.

[Anonymous]

OP: I'm sorry about the judgmental people and snarkiness of some of the previous replies.
Here's what I do (single mom who works crazy hours with a boss who does NOT believe in telework or flexible hours--I can't find any other job, and boy, am I looking!)
First, my child LOVES aftercare. It's like a playdate with her friends every day. The kids don't get to socialize much during the school day--recess is short--so all my child's friends come from aftercare. Field trips, art work, cooking--it's all in aftercare. I think that she's learned as much if not more from aftercare than she has at school. They help with homework, too.
It goes until 6:30 and I can usually pick her up. When I can't, the library is great. A friend (stay at home mom) picks her up and eats a nice snack outside the library. Inside they do homework, read or play in the kids' area with the doll house, puzzles, etc. There are usually a ton of kids there, especially in the wintertime. In the warm weather, of course, they go to the playground.
Fridays are a problem because the library closes at 5. I have tapped the children of friends, other mothers, our former pre-school teacher, relatives, and employees of the aftercare who are happy to pick up some more hours. There is a real community of caregivers and moms in need of some hours. Is there a neighborhood or school listserv where you could post your need?
I hope you find someone. Good luck--the world outside is nicer than DCUM, really!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: I'm sorry about the judgmental people and snarkiness of some of the previous replies.
Here's what I do (single mom who works crazy hours with a boss who does NOT believe in telework or flexible hours--I can't find any other job, and boy, am I looking!)
First, my child LOVES aftercare. It's like a playdate with her friends every day. The kids don't get to socialize much during the school day--recess is short--so all my child's friends come from aftercare. Field trips, art work, cooking--it's all in aftercare. I think that she's learned as much if not more from aftercare than she has at school. They help with homework, too.
It goes until 6:30 and I can usually pick her up. When I can't, the library is great. A friend (stay at home mom) picks her up and eats a nice snack outside the library. Inside they do homework, read or play in the kids' area with the doll house, puzzles, etc. There are usually a ton of kids there, especially in the wintertime. In the warm weather, of course, they go to the playground.
Fridays are a problem because the library closes at 5. I have tapped the children of friends, other mothers, our former pre-school teacher, relatives, and employees of the aftercare who are happy to pick up some more hours. There is a real community of caregivers and moms in need of some hours. Is there a neighborhood or school listserv where you could post your need?
I hope you find someone. Good luck--the world outside is nicer than DCUM, really!

What you are describing is much different! The occasional (even weekly) after aftercare stop at the library is fine, even lovely. Daily it is a torturously long day for a child with parents who have options but are refusing to accept them.

[Anonymous]

Teacher here. I don't see how you think you can't find a good babysitter/au pair but you will leave your kid in aftercare. Look, aftercare is a necessity for many families, my own included, but it's not great childcare. It's pretty unsupervised and most aftercare teachers are paid terribly. Many are lovely but many really don't give a sh@t.

Working parents all make compromises. You can find a nice babysitter if you look for one.

[Anonymous]

If you can't stagger your schedules and cannot make it by 6, you need an after school nanny to pick her up at 3 when she gets done. I did this with my kids until I got a new job with flexible scheduled.