GF letting other people speak ill of me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yep she needs to go. Don't listen to these other post. They are just bitter.

+1000 Absolutely. OP don't put up with shit like this. Granted we just have your side of the story, but what kind of SO will let all her friends disparage her boyfriend , and she doesn't push back. Relationships are a two way street. You shouldn't give all and get nothing in return. Sit her down and talk to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep she needs to go. Don't listen to these other post. They are just bitter.

+1000 Absolutely. OP don't put up with shit like this. Granted we just have your side of the story, but what kind of SO will let all her friends disparage her boyfriend , and she doesn't push back. Relationships are a two way street. You shouldn't give all and get nothing in return. Sit her down and talk to her.

Talking will just drag it out. OP has already seen all he needs to know. This is who she is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP if you've been going out with her for 3 years and in mid-20s she's been long since ready for you to make the next move which is at least getting engaged. You didn't do that so she's very unhappy with you. She's now looking for a rationale to dump you other than that "He wouldn't ask me to marry him!" because that would hurt her ego too much. So she's looking for excuses to dump you in your behavior, in reinforcing that you're not marriage material from her friends' criticisms (which is why she even told you about it).

Do you want a future with her or not? If so, you need to have a very serious talk about what "the future" means. I guarantee it isn't another year or two or three of a relationship that's all about partying and doing shots.

What all her friends and she is implying is, "Would a man who is serious about settling down, getting married, and having children be acting like the life of the party clown?" No he would not.

We've talked about it a few times and she's said she'd like to date at least as long as her parents did before getting married (5 years). Not sure how you reach the conclusion of "she's been long since ready for you to make the next move which is at least getting engaged".

Because you mentioned talking about getting engaged in your first post?

OP, forget this one. Thrown her back and don't waste any more time in this relationship. No woman who is seriously interested in a man for marriage wants to needlessly wait FIVE YEARS before deciding whether he's a keeper or not. And FIVE is the minimum...she wants to wait AT LEAST 5 years??? Because her parents did??? That's lame.

She's just keeping you around until someone better comes along. You're a place holder, she's already coming up with stupid shit to be dissatisfied with you about, so she can justify it to herself when she cheats on you or just dumps you. Odds are her male friend who was bad mouthing you seriously wants into her pants too, if he hasn't already gotten there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My burning question is why your GF chose to share this with you. The only reason I can think of is that she has reservations about you/your relationship but is unable/unwilling to voice her own concerns. Therefore, she is voicing the alleged concerns her friends have and using them as a proxy for her opinions. Whether their opinions are her opinions, I find it problematic for her to share the negative opinions and not facts with you.

+1
Bingo

Yes, this poster has it absolutely right. And are you sure she didn't defend you? Just because she is bringing it up to you now / agrees with them does not mean she didn't defend you to her friends in the moment.

Yes- in both instances I asked her something to the effect of "Did you say anything to them to defend me? You know I'm not an arrogant douche" and she said no. The absurd thing is that she couldn't actually say what I had done wrong either time, she was angry and convinced that it was my fault both these people didn't like me.

From personal experience, I have had situations like this. I am a little type A, and I want everyone to get a long. When that doesn't happen, I tend to get stressed about it for some reason. I just want a big happy family if you will. I don't know if your gf is like this. But, I had a situation where my brother's GF didn't like my GF. In retrospect, I should have stood up for her, but at the time, I was just so stressed about the dynamic not being peaceful and everyone liking everyone, that I took it out on my GF and got frustrated with her, like why couldn't she work harder to be nicer or whatever to by brother's GF... So, that may be where she is coming from. Just my experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP if you've been going out with her for 3 years and in mid-20s she's been long since ready for you to make the next move which is at least getting engaged. You didn't do that so she's very unhappy with you. She's now looking for a rationale to dump you other than that "He wouldn't ask me to marry him!" because that would hurt her ego too much. So she's looking for excuses to dump you in your behavior, in reinforcing that you're not marriage material from her friends' criticisms (which is why she even told you about it).

Do you want a future with her or not? If so, you need to have a very serious talk about what "the future" means. I guarantee it isn't another year or two or three of a relationship that's all about partying and doing shots.

What all her friends and she is implying is, "Would a man who is serious about settling down, getting married, and having children be acting like the life of the party clown?" No he would not.

We've talked about it a few times and she's said she'd like to date at least as long as her parents did before getting married (5 years). Not sure how you reach the conclusion of "she's been long since ready for you to make the next move which is at least getting engaged".

Because you mentioned talking about getting engaged in your first post?

OP, forget this one. Thrown her back and don't waste any more time in this relationship. No woman who is seriously interested in a man for marriage wants to needlessly wait FIVE YEARS before deciding whether he's a keeper or not. And FIVE is the minimum...she wants to wait AT LEAST 5 years??? Because her parents did??? That's lame.

She's just keeping you around until someone better comes along. You're a place holder, she's already coming up with stupid shit to be dissatisfied with you about, so she can justify it to herself when she cheats on you or just dumps you. Odds are her male friend who was bad mouthing you seriously wants into her pants too, if he hasn't already gotten there.

x2 Convert her into a FWB while you look for your next GF.

[Anonymous]

I was engaged to DW, one of her friends told her in private that she didn't like me and that DW should end it with me. To this day I still don't know what I did to make her feel this way. She broke off all relations with her friend and we've been married for 17 years