Reply to GF letting other people speak ill of me

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My burning question is why your GF chose to share this with you.  [b]The only reason I can think of is that she has reservations about you/your relationship but is unable/unwilling to voice her own concerns.  [/b]Therefore, she is voicing the alleged concerns her friends have and using them as a proxy for her opinions.  Whether their opinions are her opinions, I find it problematic for her to share the negative opinions and not facts with you.[/quote]
+1
Bingo[/quote]

Yes, this poster has it absolutely right. And are you sure she didn't defend you?  Just because she is bringing it up to you now / agrees with them does not mean she didn't defend you to her friends in the moment.[/quote]

Yes- in both instances I asked her something to the effect of "Did you say anything to them to defend me? You know I'm not an arrogant douche" and she said no. The absurd thing is that she couldn't actually say what I had done wrong either time, she was angry and convinced that it was my fault both these people didn't like me.[/quote]

From personal experience, I have had situations like this. I am a little type A, and I want everyone to get a long. When that doesn't happen, I tend to get stressed about it for some reason. I just want a big happy family if you will. I don't know if your gf is like this. But, I had a situation where my brother's GF didn't like my GF. In retrospect, I should have stood up for her, but at the time, I was just so stressed about the dynamic not being peaceful and everyone liking everyone, that I took it out on my GF and got frustrated with her, like why couldn't she work harder to be nicer or whatever to by brother's GF... So, that may be where she is coming from. Just my experience.[/quote]

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