How soon after giving my number can I expect a text/call?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think women can experience that raw sexual attraction and attribute some of that to an emotional/mental connection whereas men are focused primarily on their d***s. So this guy wanted to hook up immediately and won't necessarily pursue this until he is in a position to hook up again. He's not necessarily looking for a date, despite wooing you by talking about his sister.

Are you looking for a purely sexual connection, OP? If so, and and you have his number you can give him a call. Do you know enough about him full name, workplace) to find him? You can do that and then send him a suggestive text.

OP here.
That's the other odd thing to me. He told me EVERYTHING: building he lived in, what floor, where he works and what division, his college, the past 3 places he has lived, his major and sport in college, his last name, his sisters and parents names. Literally the easiest Google search of my life
Kinda odd for someone who never wants to see or hear from me again. I sent him a message on Messenger and....crickets.
Oh well!

Wait. He didn't give you his number? So you went on Facebook, found him, and messaged him? That's pretty creepy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - I think it's possible he was looking for a hookup and isn't interested in dating. So he may not call. I've had guys seem very interested, and when I shot them down for the hookup, I didn't get the call asking me out. One of them still texts every time he is about to come in town, but then never follows up.

If he's interested in a hookup, you might hear from him Friday before he heads out drinking. Then it's your call on what to do. If he's interested in dating you, you'll hear from him by Wednesday, I think.

Good luck, either way!

OP here, thanks for this. I think I blew it by contacting him so I will learn from this in the future. I guess I had it in my head that he probably thought I shot him down and wasn't interested, when I am very (did I mention very) interested. So my message basically explained briefly that I was sorry it wasn't bad timing and wanted to pick up where we left off

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think women can experience that raw sexual attraction and attribute some of that to an emotional/mental connection whereas men are focused primarily on their d***s. So this guy wanted to hook up immediately and won't necessarily pursue this until he is in a position to hook up again. He's not necessarily looking for a date, despite wooing you by talking about his sister.

Are you looking for a purely sexual connection, OP? If so, and and you have his number you can give him a call. Do you know enough about him full name, workplace) to find him? You can do that and then send him a suggestive text.

OP here.
That's the other odd thing to me. He told me EVERYTHING: building he lived in, what floor, where he works and what division, his college, the past 3 places he has lived, his major and sport in college, his last name, his sisters and parents names. Literally the easiest Google search of my life
Kinda odd for someone who never wants to see or hear from me again. I sent him a message on Messenger and....crickets.
Oh well!

Wait. He didn't give you his number? So you went on Facebook, found him, and messaged him? That's pretty creepy.

It's 2016 and that's exactly what FB and Messenger are for : to be found and contacted

[Anonymous]

That's too bad, OP! Who knows what his deal is. I remember in my dating days, some of the most seemingly "perfect" guys really were duds. You sound like a great woman -- the right guy will come along!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think women can experience that raw sexual attraction and attribute some of that to an emotional/mental connection whereas men are focused primarily on their d***s. So this guy wanted to hook up immediately and won't necessarily pursue this until he is in a position to hook up again. He's not necessarily looking for a date, despite wooing you by talking about his sister.

Are you looking for a purely sexual connection, OP? If so, and and you have his number you can give him a call. Do you know enough about him full name, workplace) to find him? You can do that and then send him a suggestive text.

OP here.
That's the other odd thing to me. He told me EVERYTHING: building he lived in, what floor, where he works and what division, his college, the past 3 places he has lived, his major and sport in college, his last name, his sisters and parents names. Literally the easiest Google search of my life
Kinda odd for someone who never wants to see or hear from me again. I sent him a message on Messenger and....crickets.
Oh well!

Wait. He didn't give you his number? So you went on Facebook, found him, and messaged him? That's pretty creepy.

It's 2016 and that's exactly what FB and Messenger are for : to be found and contacted

Uh no. Not when he got your digits and chose not to use them. It's creepy and stalkerish.

[Anonymous]

Not everyone checks facebook regularly so he may not have gotten your message.

[Anonymous]

It's only creepy and stalkerish if you do not have FB and Messenger with your full name and photo and give out tons of personal details so people can find you.
Again, that is what social media is for, so if you have it, that's what happens

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you don't hear back by Tuesday you might have to reach out to him.

GASP! How DARE you suggest a woman take initiative and reach out to the man! They're ENTITLED to NEVER do that. They'd rather sit on their asses forever and write it off as saying he's not really into them then actually picking up the phone and taking initiative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think women can experience that raw sexual attraction and attribute some of that to an emotional/mental connection whereas men are focused primarily on their d***s. So this guy wanted to hook up immediately and won't necessarily pursue this until he is in a position to hook up again. He's not necessarily looking for a date, despite wooing you by talking about his sister.

Are you looking for a purely sexual connection, OP? If so, and and you have his number you can give him a call. Do you know enough about him full name, workplace) to find him? You can do that and then send him a suggestive text.

OP here.
That's the other odd thing to me. He told me EVERYTHING: building he lived in, what floor, where he works and what division, his college, the past 3 places he has lived, his major and sport in college, his last name, his sisters and parents names. Literally the easiest Google search of my life
Kinda odd for someone who never wants to see or hear from me again. I sent him a message on Messenger and....crickets.
Oh well!

Wait. He didn't give you his number? So you went on Facebook, found him, and messaged him? That's pretty creepy.

It's 2016 and that's exactly what FB and Messenger are for : to be found and contacted

Uh no. Not when he got your digits and chose not to use them. It's creepy and stalkerish.

New poster. Just because you CAN do something doesn't mean it's a good idea. If some guy did this to me, I would block him immediately.

OP, just keep things simple next time, at least at the beginning. There's kind of a flow to dating, and rules, and it helps if everyone kind of follows them at the beginning, just to keep things safe and steady.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think women can experience that raw sexual attraction and attribute some of that to an emotional/mental connection whereas men are focused primarily on their d***s. So this guy wanted to hook up immediately and won't necessarily pursue this until he is in a position to hook up again. He's not necessarily looking for a date, despite wooing you by talking about his sister.

Are you looking for a purely sexual connection, OP? If so, and and you have his number you can give him a call. Do you know enough about him full name, workplace) to find him? You can do that and then send him a suggestive text.

OP here.
That's the other odd thing to me. He told me EVERYTHING: building he lived in, what floor, where he works and what division, his college, the past 3 places he has lived, his major and sport in college, his last name, his sisters and parents names. Literally the easiest Google search of my life
Kinda odd for someone who never wants to see or hear from me again. I sent him a message on Messenger and....crickets.
Oh well!

Wait. He didn't give you his number? So you went on Facebook, found him, and messaged him? That's pretty creepy.

It's 2016 and that's exactly what FB and Messenger are for : to be found and contacted

Uh no. Not when he got your digits and chose not to use them. It's creepy and stalkerish.

+1
That was not the move OP. Not at all.
All of his talk about his family and sisters was to build some intimacy so you'd feel comfortable going home with him that night not cause he just needed you to know who he was. When you weren't available to come home with him that was that. He wasn't going to text you again until he was in a similar mood- late night, after a few drinks. You probably would've heard from him this weekend. Now with your going out of your way to find and message him, he's thinking he has a stage five clinger before you've even done he deed. Nope, he's out.

[Anonymous]

OP finding someone on FB or other social media is fine if you met at a bar or party and didn't exchange information. But if he has your number already finding and messaging him, especially so soon, is too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not everyone checks facebook regularly so he may not have gotten your message.

Unless FB has changed things, there is an "other" folder, and that message could be there.

That being said, there is a way to get messages sent to your phone and/or e-mail instantly, when you are not logged into Facebook. Maybe he has that option?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Need more contextual background. Most guys won't text back during a weekend--it seems loserish and desperate. Give it until Wednesday.

OP here.
I met someone Friday night and really hit it off. As in, we both left the friends we were with and talked for a couple hours. Told each other all about ourselves, I know everything from how many sisters he has and what the best pranks they pulled on him to his preference for tucking only the front of his shirt in under a suit. We kissed for a little bit too at the end, and talked about what we wanted to do the next time we met up, in great detail and specific places, and that's when he got my number. This is where it got a little tricky: He asked me to come back to his place and I really couldn't because I was driving my friends home, who were very drunk, and it was my responsibility to get them home and I didn't have my car there (drove my friends SUV to fit everyone), and I explained that to him while trying to convey very clearly that I was very interested and not blowing him off.
Which when he got my number.
I know it's hard to picture here, and take my word for it, but I dated a lot previously and have never hit it off with someone like this or had the level of attraction going. I had to peel myself away to get my friends.
I guess I'm just really disappointed I haven't heard anything yet but it's only Sunday.

OK. The male ego is a very fragile thing. I know you conveyed your genuine interest, but some guys are conditioned to interpret things the wrong way. All he heard/sees is...she rejected me. Also, he might not want to be viewed as too clingy. If you don't hear back by Tuesday you might have to reach out to him.

It's not ego, it's a rejection. Most men will try once and move on to someone who is interested. It's creep otherwise.

[Anonymous]

It's all about context. If you picture OP as really hot and blew this guy away, and then rejected him (gave him some BS story about having to get her friend home? There are taxis and uber, they are not in high school!), and this guy is not calling because she's a done deal.
Then when she reaches out to him to see the record straight, like OP said, he's thrilled. Damn I would be!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP finding someone on FB or other social media is fine if you met at a bar or party and didn't exchange information. But if he has your number already finding and messaging him, especially so soon, is too much.

I'd likely block someone who did this. In the future, OP, ask your male friends what they would think and/or do. When sharing/swapping dating stories - I've heard many of my male friends laugh or be mildly freaked out by the women who found them on social media and contacted them. With that being said, I did end up texting a guy whose number I had and hadn't heard from after a second date just to say "thanks, had a good time and would love to go to a baseball game if up for it". Did hear back and now married and with a kid.