How to find (my mom) a nice single man (ideally widower) in his 60s? Do they exist?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did she ask for your help? Is she not happy with the man she is dating right now? It seems to me this is a MYOB situation...

It's not a MYOB situation. She wants my help. But thanks.

Well, first she needs to break up with her boyfriend, no? If sh wants you to shop for the next guy before she does that, she isn't the catch you think she is.

Thereafter, the usual rule applies. Be interesting. Have a hobby and join activities with people doing that hobby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can I put my dad in the running?


Catholic, attorney, semi-retired at age 70,
lives between the city and his beach house, though gradually increasing time at the beach, fantastic daughter and grandsons, plays tennis and golf, great shape, funny, eats dinner out every day, social drinking only.

I will add that he doesn't understand the concept of a potluck despite me trying to explain for 10 minutes, wants his 1 year old grandson to be "tough", refuses to decorate his beach house because "that's for women" so it has basically a couch and table in it (4K square feet people), and "ghosts" at any event, including just coming to my house for a visit. Literally just walks out the door.

He's single and ready to mingle!

OP here- just seeing this! Super long day! I think they sound like they could be a great match actually. My mom has a beach house too and also eats dinner out every day! She does love to decorate though Do you have an email address??

Because her dad is a good guy who doesn't need to date someone with a boyfriend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can I put my dad in the running?


Catholic, attorney, semi-retired at age 70,
lives between the city and his beach house, though gradually increasing time at the beach, fantastic daughter and grandsons, plays tennis and golf, great shape, funny, eats dinner out every day, social drinking only.

I will add that he doesn't understand the concept of a potluck despite me trying to explain for 10 minutes, wants his 1 year old grandson to be "tough", refuses to decorate his beach house because "that's for women" so it has basically a couch and table in it (4K square feet people), and "ghosts" at any event, including just coming to my house for a visit. Literally just walks out the door.

He's single and ready to mingle!

This is hysterical! I'd love to see a DCUM connection like this!

I love it when things like this happen!

[Anonymous]

I'm 56 and happily married for 30 years. I have many women friends in their 50s who are smart, interesting, fun, fit and attractive -- just like your mom, OP. You are sweet to be concerned about her and I'm sure she's lovely, but you should know that she's not such a rare commodity. And, for the record, while your mom might want to marry again, many women her age who are divorced or widowed would like to be in a couple, but others are perfectly to be on their own. Demographically, we are late baby-boomers -- we experienced feminism at a young age, many of us went to grad/professional school and worked at least for a few years before marriage and parenthood, many of us had sex before marriage, many of us lived with boyfriends -- we're not scared of being alone.

Second, as for the semi-retired Catholic attorney -- again, I'm sure he's a nice man, but he sounds like an outlier for men in their late 60s and early 70s. These guys, including my DH, who is 62, also experienced feminism. They have wives who were grad/professional school classmates and colleagues, they mentored younger women colleagues, they coached their daughters' soccer teams, and revel in their DILs' professional accomplishments. They don't think "decorating is for women" and they don't talk about a 1 y.o. as being "tough" (though they may be proponents of "grit" for both young women and men.) Oh, and they know what a potluck is and how to set up a sign-up genius to invite folks to attend. Their wives taught them how to do that.

As for dating in your 50s and 60s and 70s . . . DH and I have a number of friends, both women and men, who have met romantic partners in this season of life through a variety of means. Basically, though, there's not much difference between how they meet and how our 20-something kids meet their partners -- being introduced by friends, online dating, meeting through school and professional connections (a friend who works in the alumnae/i office of a major university reports many reunion romances), joining affinity groups -- e.g., music groups, sports leagues, book groups (yes, there are coed book groups), volunteer organizations, faith communities, etc.

Good luck to your mom, OP!

[Anonymous]

Can she join Facebook (if not already there) to reconnect with old classmates? Online dating?

My friends and I (in our late 40s /early 50s) have noticed that older men (70s+) really don't want to be single and find someone really fast after losing their spouse.

[Anonymous]

My father-in-law met his new wife at the widowed/divorced group at his (Catholic) church.

[Anonymous]

My DH likes what they call "cowboy" or western music--think "Sons of the San Joaquin and Sons of the Pioneers." So, for his birthday a couple of years ago, I got us tickets when they came to the city we were living in (not DC area.)

During intermission I started talking to an attractive older lady next to me and she explained she started going to the concerts because she wanted to date and that's where the older guys were. And, she found one It was a cute story, and I think she may have even gone out West to a cowboy singing event or something, by herself, to socialize.

So, go where the older guys are. Not sure where that would be in the DC area, but in the flyover states it's western music and car/motorcycle events, among other things.

I do think that this older baby boom generation may be less traditional and more diverse in their interests, but a lot of it may depend on where they lived and how conservative they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are people so afraid of being alone? It's just plain weird.

Have you ever really, truly lived and been alone for any kind of significant time? I honestly doubt it.

I was "alone" for a decade and it can be amazing, so liberating but when you are ill its terrible and when there is only a future with the person in the mirror its disheartening.

Also I expect for people who have been married for decades, they miss the camaraderie. How can you not be empathetic to this?

I lived alone for 10 years until I got married late in life. My mother was married for 56 years before my dad died (married at 18). She would NEVER think of remarrying and actually enjoys her life. There are plenty of people who aren't needy and afraid of being alone. That's a very unattractive trait to have actually.

Hey look everyone! This poster lived alone for years and years, and her mom wants to live alone now. So everyone else is obligated to share that mindset.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I'm 56 and happily married for 30 years. I have many women friends in their 50s who are smart, interesting, fun, fit and attractive -- just like your mom, OP. You are sweet to be concerned about her and I'm sure she's lovely, but you should know that she's not such a rare commodity. And, for the record, while your mom might want to marry again, many women her age who are divorced or widowed would like to be in a couple, but others are perfectly to be on their own. Demographically, we are late baby-boomers -- we experienced feminism at a young age, many of us went to grad/professional school and worked at least for a few years before marriage and parenthood, many of us had sex before marriage, many of us lived with boyfriends -- we're not scared of being alone.

Second, as for the semi-retired Catholic attorney -- again, I'm sure he's a nice man, but he sounds like an outlier for men in their late 60s and early 70s. These guys, including my DH, who is 62, also experienced feminism. They have wives who were grad/professional school classmates and colleagues, they mentored younger women colleagues, they coached their daughters' soccer teams, and revel in their DILs' professional accomplishments. They don't think "decorating is for women" and they don't talk about a 1 y.o. as being "tough" (though they may be proponents of "grit" for both young women and men.) Oh, and they know what a potluck is and how to set up a sign-up genius to invite folks to attend. Their wives taught them how to do that.

As for dating in your 50s and 60s and 70s . . . DH and I have a number of friends, both women and men, who have met romantic partners in this season of life through a variety of means. Basically, though, there's not much difference between how they meet and how our 20-something kids meet their partners -- being introduced by friends, online dating, meeting through school and professional connections (a friend who works in the alumnae/i office of a major university reports many reunion romances), joining affinity groups -- e.g., music groups, sports leagues, book groups (yes, there are coed book groups), volunteer organizations, faith communities, etc.

Good luck to your mom, OP!

You don't know anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As my good, single, 75 year old friend always says -- "Men at this age only want a nurse or a purse."

Perhaps. But with the advent of Viagra they may want something else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As my good, single, 75 year old friend always says -- "Men at this age only want a nurse or a purse."

Perhaps. But with the advent of Viagra they may want something else.

You are missing first poster's point. These older men have much worse health issues than just the sex life. Why would a widow want to become a caretaker? If she is financially well off, she is better off not marrying again.