How to find (my mom) a nice single man (ideally widower) in his 60s? Do they exist?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are people so afraid of being alone? It's just plain weird.

Have you ever really, truly lived and been alone for any kind of significant time? I honestly doubt it.

I was "alone" for a decade and it can be amazing, so liberating but when you are ill its terrible and when there is only a future with the person in the mirror its disheartening.

Also I expect for people who have been married for decades, they miss the camaraderie. How can you not be empathetic to this?

I agree. I have spent a lot of time alone and I was fine with it for the most part, but for someone who spent their entire adult life coupled, particularly happily coupled, I can completely understand why they wouldn't relish being alone and would want to find happy companionship again.

[Anonymous]

My dad was widowed at 54. He was pounced on by the ladies at the widow/widowers club at church! I think it was overwhelming for him - they were pretty aggressive and he had a fairly passive personality to begin with.

He eventually met someone through friends who was a better match for him. Good luck to your mom - I think dating at that age can be challenging to navigate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can I put my dad in the running?


Catholic, attorney, semi-retired at age 70,
lives between the city and his beach house, though gradually increasing time at the beach, fantastic daughter and grandsons, plays tennis and golf, great shape, funny, eats dinner out every day, social drinking only.

I will add that he doesn't understand the concept of a potluck despite me trying to explain for 10 minutes, wants his 1 year old grandson to be "tough", refuses to decorate his beach house because "that's for women" so it has basically a couch and table in it (4K square feet people), and "ghosts" at any event, including just coming to my house for a visit. Literally just walks out the door.

He's single and ready to mingle!

OMG. I love this guy. I hope he finds someone that is nice to him, PP. Is he funny (inadvertently or otherwise)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dad was widowed at 54. He was pounced on by the ladies at the widow/widowers club at church! I think it was overwhelming for him - they were pretty aggressive and he had a fairly passive personality to begin with.

He eventually met someone through friends who was a better match for him. Good luck to your mom - I think dating at that age can be challenging to navigate.

Gold diggers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are people so afraid of being alone? It's just plain weird.

Have you ever really, truly lived and been alone for any kind of significant time? I honestly doubt it.

I was "alone" for a decade and it can be amazing, so liberating but when you are ill its terrible and when there is only a future with the person in the mirror its disheartening.

Also I expect for people who have been married for decades, they miss the camaraderie. How can you not be empathetic to this?

I agree. I have spent a lot of time alone and I was fine with it for the most part, but for someone who spent their entire adult life coupled, particularly happily coupled, I can completely understand why they wouldn't relish being alone and would want to find happy companionship again.

+1

Also, if their marriage was fulfilling and vibrant, chances are, they want to marry again. If it was just a "business decision" - chances are, they won't marry again, because they think that their next relationship will be the same.

[Anonymous]

OP there is a dating site for Catholics--I read about it on the back of my church's missal! ha ha I don't have it handy but I'm sure a google search could help with that.

However; I vote for the AWESOME DCUM SPECTACLE of your mom having a blind date with PP's dad!! Hey if we can find the bobcat girl's boyfriend, we can surely put two parents together!

That being said...you know, Mr. Right could just come along, but as long as she's saddled to Mr. Wrong, she might not be interested, because she's "not hungry." You know, when people are eating from a crappy buffet, they are not interested in checking out the excellent-quality restaurant even if it's next door.

[Anonymous]

My dad became a windower in his early 60s, and the women were after him! I think it might be much more difficult for a woman. He had women 20 years younger calling him up out of the blue when they found out he was newly single.

There's hope though. The woman he chose to marry is a widow a couple weeks older than he. They met at a wedding, which I find adorable. They're very happy.

[Anonymous]

I'd like to find someone for my MIL, just to keep her happily occupied so she'll stop trying to destroy our lives. Trouble is, she's only going to go for someone who'll flatter her and cook and clean for her. I guess she's looking for what old men look for in a woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dad became a windower in his early 60s, and the women were after him! I think it might be much more difficult for a woman. He had women 20 years younger calling him up out of the blue when they found out he was newly single.

There's hope though. The woman he chose to marry is a widow a couple weeks older than he. They met at a wedding, which I find adorable. They're very happy.

PP here. I love this story. I love older people who are still romantic. Though - I suppose some people were never romantic and were very cold to begin with - no wonder they are alone!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd like to find someone for my MIL, just to keep her happily occupied so she'll stop trying to destroy our lives. Trouble is, she's only going to go for someone who'll flatter her and cook and clean for her. I guess she's looking for what old men look for in a woman.

She gay?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does he have to be 5' 9" or taller? When will people let go of their vanities?

OP's mom has a right to like what she likes.

She also has a right to be alone because she's too picky.

[Anonymous]

OP, you've posted a couple times that she wants your help but dodged the questions about how you know. Did she ask you to find her a guy? Or are you just inferring from the fact that she gives you a half-assed answer to why she's with her current guy that she wants someone better? Because I would also give my daughter a half-assed answer if she tried to explain to me why my boyfriend wasn't good enough for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would say some of the following places have good guys:

1. church
2. Health club
3. book club

Book clubs are 90% women. I would take golf lessons and join the Sierra Club.

[Anonymous]

Ummm, your mother already has a boyfriend. You may not like him but she's allowed to decide who she wants to spend her time with.

If he's a loser she'll dump him when she's ready. Right now she might be with him because she doesn't feel pressured to marry or get too deep with him but still enjoys the company.

I don't know how long ago your mom lost her husband but the grieving process takes time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad was widowed at 54. He was pounced on by the ladies at the widow/widowers club at church! I think it was overwhelming for him - they were pretty aggressive and he had a fairly passive personality to begin with.

He eventually met someone through friends who was a better match for him. Good luck to your mom - I think dating at that age can be challenging to navigate.

Gold diggers?

No, just desperate for companionship I think. He was "engaged" to one of them about a year after my mother died. The woman bought herself the engagement ring and had him give it to her. Dad kept saying "just because we're engaged doesn't mean we're getting married". It was kinda rough to watch. He managed to break up with her a couple of months later.