How to find (my mom) a nice single man (ideally widower) in his 60s? Do they exist?
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Anonymous
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My mom is in her late 50s and I really think she is a catch for her age. She is very attractive and in shape, looks much younger than she is, is financially self sufficient, well educated and has a great job. She's very nice and outgoing, and someone that people gravitate towards. Overall I really cannot imagine that there are many women in her age range that would be more appealing as a potential partner to a man in his late 50s or 60s. Anyway- she is widowed and has been in a relationship for about a year and a half with a guy who is attractive, has a good job, but is just a loser. My husband and I cannot figure out why the heck she stays with him! She says she is afraid of being alone forever and there's no one else out there.
How can I help her find someone to date? I think at a minimum they would need to be five nine or taller, ok looking, and some kind of professional job. No weird emotional baggage involving crazy kids or a crazy ex wife!!!!! Other than that I think she's pretty flexible. Does anyone know of some nice older single men out there? Where can I find these guys, to help her? I wish I knew of someone I could set her up with. Would love ideas! If it matters, she is Catholic, but I don't think she's meeting anyone at church. |
Anonymous
| Why are people so afraid of being alone? It's just plain weird. |
Anonymous
OP: I don't totally understand it either (I would rather be single any day than be with a loser) but I can also understand how it might be pretty lonely. She was widowed twice actually, once at 36 with two young kids at home, the second time after she had finally found an amazing second husband who was just a real standout in every way. So she has really been through a lot. I can't really judge because I am not in her shoes, and I hope to god I never will be. |
Anonymous
I will answer your question, since I researched the hell out of this when my grandmother died and my grandpa shacked up with a woman named Ruthpot. Sometimes just referred to by my mom as "the 'pot." The older generations got married between ages 17-23. This is for people born through the 50's. Anyone who wasn't married by 25 was socially shunned, really. People did things in couple-groups. So it's not like our generation - my cousin is 43 and single, and has a great social life despite not having a boyfriend (or girlfriend). I talked to my grandmother (on the other side of the family) about this and she confirmed - old people socialize in couples. Some women can get away with it because they can pair up with other female widows, but not men. |
Anonymous
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Wow. People really are at different points in life at same age.
The mom ,entitled in this post is in late 50s. Described as old people by one PP and somehow also widowed twice. I'm in my late 50s and a single mom to a 3rd grader. I am my no means an old person who only socializes in twos but also plants old enough to plan my own social life. So OP butt out of your moms social life and realize what an amazing woman she is |
Anonymous
Oh, she wants the help, I'm just asking here for ideas. This is not me butting in. I think you don't realize that your life as a mom of a young child is very different than a mom of a grown child- an empty nester. It's apples and oranges, socially. And I think the PP before you had it exactly right. My mom was married just after turning 22 and so were all her peers. |
Anonymous
| Did she ask for your help? Is she not happy with the man she is dating right now? It seems to me this is a MYOB situation... |
Anonymous
This is not relevant for someone in her 60's. If she is in her sixties, she turned 20 around 1970. Very different society in than the 50's. |
Anonymous
It's not a MYOB situation. She wants my help. But thanks. |
Anonymous
Thanks for my morning laugh! "The pot"! Haha. |
Anonymous
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Can I put my dad in the running?
Catholic, attorney, semi-retired at age 70, lives between the city and his beach house, though gradually increasing time at the beach, fantastic daughter and grandsons, plays tennis and golf, great shape, funny, eats dinner out every day, social drinking only. I will add that he doesn't understand the concept of a potluck despite me trying to explain for 10 minutes, wants his 1 year old grandson to be "tough", refuses to decorate his beach house because "that's for women" so it has basically a couch and table in it (4K square feet people), and "ghosts" at any event, including just coming to my house for a visit. Literally just walks out the door. He's single and ready to mingle! |
Anonymous
Your Dad looks like Clint Eastwood in my head. I hope we find some people love on DCUM! |
Anonymous
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I would say some of the following places have good guys:
1. church 2. Health club 3. book club |
Anonymous
Op I am a woman in my 60s. You sound very young! Ideally widower! So your mom won't have any baggage? She can try the dating sites, but men in their 60s are looking at women in their 40s, and they are most reluctant to commit. Womem in their 50s are usually ready to think about themselves and not willing to do all that care taking all over again for a man. Men usually have health problems far sooner than women. I have to laugh because when I was your age I thought my MIL should get married again!  She said Oh noooo, I am so DONE taking care of an old man!
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Anonymous
| As my good, single, 75 year old friend always says -- "Men at this age only want a nurse or a purse." |