Sexless marriage

[Anonymous]

Get out, I repeat … Get out … truly you are wasting away in this marriage. I am in a long term marriage and we have sex three to four times a week and we are not freaks …. just really enjoy each other and, I can't say this enough, there are no excuses for such lack of intimacy. Get out and find someone who will appreciate you and not make excuses …. you have one life and deserve so much more … please move on ….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also you acted like it's making you feel bad about yourself. Don't let her behavior (lack of interest) affect your self esteem because confidence is attractive and it sounds like you are not confident.

Quite the female logic there: "Don't let YOUR WIFE'S lack of sexual interest in you affect your self esteem because confidence is attractive" the most ridiculous buzzphrase ever.

Unbelievable! This moron believes he needs to maintain his confidence to get his wife to have sex with him even though his god damn WIFE is regularly rejecting his sexual advances!

Women. Is there anything they aren't totally clueless about, other than spending money?

[Anonymous]

I'm in the same boat except I'm a wife in a sexless marriage. Would the advice be the same for me and DH?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm in the same boat except I'm a wife in a sexless marriage. Would the advice be the same for me and DH?

No

[Anonymous]

I had to read the OPs post, since I thought maybe I'd posted this and forgotten.

OP, I've been rejected daily, then weekly, then monthly. You see the pattern. I initiated daily for months, to no avail. I thought, maybe weekly is manageable, then thought I shouldn't be so greedy, and asked only monthly.

Too many days turned into weeks turned months turned into years later, and I've given up.

I'm very attractive, flirtatious, smart, and fun. I get hit on all the time. But haven't been touched sexually in years!

Yes, you guessed it, I'm a DW trapped in a sexless marriage, it is a nightmare. I've gotten to the point that when he walks in to a room, I exit. I resent him for forcing me into this lefestyle.

I masturbate every morning and every night. Often while he's in bed "sleeping" I'm not obnoxious about it, I'm quiet, but my body shivers every time.

Funny thing is people think we have the best relationship because I'm very touchy and such a flirt. I'm sure his friends think he gets action nightly. If they only knew what a dud he really is.

[Anonymous]

She's probably overworked and tired. Give her a night or two off, while taking you take care of the kids. Does she work too? If so, two jobs is tough. Let her sleep in on weekends or go to bed early every now and then. I found rest makes a big difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had to read the OPs post, since I thought maybe I'd posted this and forgotten.

OP, I've been rejected daily, then weekly, then monthly. You see the pattern. I initiated daily for months, to no avail. I thought, maybe weekly is manageable, then thought I shouldn't be so greedy, and asked only monthly.

Too many days turned into weeks turned months turned into years later, and I've given up.

I'm very attractive, flirtatious, smart, and fun. I get hit on all the time. But haven't been touched sexually in years!

Yes, you guessed it, I'm a DW trapped in a sexless marriage, it is a nightmare. I've gotten to the point that when he walks in to a room, I exit. I resent him for forcing me into this lefestyle.

I masturbate every morning and every night. Often while he's in bed "sleeping" I'm not obnoxious about it, I'm quiet, but my body shivers every time.

Funny thing is people think we have the best relationship because I'm very touchy and such a flirt. I'm sure his friends think he gets action nightly. If they only knew what a dud he really is.

What the reasoning for not...with you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had to read the OPs post, since I thought maybe I'd posted this and forgotten.

OP, I've been rejected daily, then weekly, then monthly. You see the pattern. I initiated daily for months, to no avail. I thought, maybe weekly is manageable, then thought I shouldn't be so greedy, and asked only monthly.

Too many days turned into weeks turned months turned into years later, and I've given up.

I'm very attractive, flirtatious, smart, and fun. I get hit on all the time. But haven't been touched sexually in years!

Yes, you guessed it, I'm a DW trapped in a sexless marriage, it is a nightmare. I've gotten to the point that when he walks in to a room, I exit. I resent him for forcing me into this lefestyle.

I masturbate every morning and every night. Often while he's in bed "sleeping" I'm not obnoxious about it, I'm quiet, but my body shivers every time.

Funny thing is people think we have the best relationship because I'm very touchy and such a flirt. I'm sure his friends think he gets action nightly. If they only knew what a dud he really is.

What the reasoning for not...with you?

A new poster as a DW in a sexless marriage. DH says he's tired so I've cut way back on our schedule of seeing friends and family and even my job to accommodate his need for rest. He also suffers from anxiety but refuses to medicate or meditate to control it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I'm very attractive, flirtatious, smart, and fun. I get hit on all the time.

Every woman says this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'm very attractive, flirtatious, smart, and fun. I get hit on all the time.

Every woman says this.

Because it's true? I think men would probably be surprised by how much opportunity most women have. I get hit on walking my dog around and picking up his poop in sweatpants and a sweatshirt. It's ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'm very attractive, flirtatious, smart, and fun. I get hit on all the time.

Every woman says this.

Because it's true? I think men would probably be surprised by how much opportunity most women have. I get hit on walking my dog around and picking up his poop in sweatpants and a sweatshirt. It's ridiculous.

BTW- I am not the OP that you quoted.

[Anonymous]

You aren't going to like this answer OP but adjust your expectations. Stop feeling like a victim who is being denied. Understand marriage is for the best interest of the children and that your libido may not be satisfied for a long time while the kids are growing up. That's life- just deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'm very attractive, flirtatious, smart, and fun. I get hit on all the time.

Every woman says this.

Because it's true? I think men would probably be surprised by how much opportunity most women have. I get hit on walking my dog around and picking up his poop in sweatpants and a sweatshirt. It's ridiculous.

No we would not be surprised. To the contrary, we are surprised when the women in our lives say that they can't seem to find anyone who is interested in them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Because it's true? I think men would probably be surprised by how much opportunity most women have. I get hit on walking my dog around and picking up his poop in sweatpants and a sweatshirt. It's ridiculous.

No, because every woman thinks she's very attractive, flirtatious, smart and fun.

[Anonymous]

Things to try:

-Initiate at times other than right before bed. If you watch TV for hours and then wait to initiate until she's a few minutes away from going to sleep, you up your chances of being turned down bc she is in sleep mode. Try the morning or right after kids go to bed.

-Non-hormonal birth control. Condoms, copper IUD, or a vasectomy for you

-Non-intercourse sex options. Consider whether she might be more receptive to oral, mutual masturbation, etc. Sometimes PIV seems daunting bc of the time it takes for women to get warmed up physically enough to enjoy it, but oral/manual is something she can just jump into if she is not feeling up to intercourse.

-Mixing up the foreplay, e.g. watching porn together, reading to each other out of 50 shades, whatever you think she might be into

These are all things that have helped to increase the frequency of sex in my marriage. If none of these works maybe the other posters are right and the only option is to resign yourself to no sex or divorce, but at least give these a try