Dating an older man - 20 years older

[Anonymous]

I know many seventy-year olds who do not need a daily caretaker/aide to assist them.

They still drive & have no issues w/doing their own wash, shopping for their own groceries and cooking their own meals.

Many can still bathe themselves, drive themselves to their doctors as well as maintain a clean + tidy home. Some even can care for a pet too!

I wouldn't discount the relationship due to age.
God forbid, but you could be diagnosed w/cancer someday or even get injured in an accident and he may have to take full-on care for you!

Life is truly unpredictable so I say live in the moment.

[Anonymous]

With very few exceptions, the guys I know who dated much younger women were losers.

[Anonymous]

Having lived in Asia, there were a bunch of guys who decided to trade in their wives for a new model half their age.

However, it was total social poison. It was completely looked down upon among most expats (except those men!) and eventually they would only be socialising with similar couples.

So, I would say if you are the younger woman, prepare yourself to not be included in his social circle. Particularly if he has traded in his wife for you...

[Anonymous]

Despite all the valid cautions PPs have offered, sure it can work. If you're madly in love. A relation married someone 30 years older than she, and they had a wonderful 20 years together. She lost him too soon, but she has no regrets. If you're not madly in love, then all the issues pointed out above suggest no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know many seventy-year olds who do not need a daily caretaker/aide to assist them.

They still drive & have no issues w/doing their own wash, shopping for their own groceries and cooking their own meals.

Many can still bathe themselves, drive themselves to their doctors as well as maintain a clean + tidy home. Some even can care for a pet too!

I wouldn't discount the relationship due to age.
God forbid, but you could be diagnosed w/cancer someday or even get injured in an accident and he may have to take full-on care for you!

Life is truly unpredictable so I say live in the moment.

OR he may be too old to take care of you, or already dead. Not only are you signing up to play nurse, you're missing out on what a youngerror husband could have provided.

[Anonymous]

A younger husband would be better if you are planning to have kids. I would be leery of having kids with a 50+ year old, unless he's rich enough that you can afford all the help you need and will be taken care of if he dies earlier than expected.

Some of the doom and gloom here is a bit overblown though. Most 70 year olds do not need assisted living, in modern times -- especially not the mostly middle/upper-middle class people that post here. It's just a harsh reality that higher socioeconomic status means better health and longer life.

If he's 50, you've got a better than even chance of 25+ years of reasonably good health before he is old and frail. Most people would consider 25 years of a happy marriage to be a blessing. Nothing lasts forever.

But, I still wouldn't do it unless he's got money, or at least a really good career, where financial issues aren't going to be a problem. It sounds mean, but you don't want to be stuck with an old, poor man. It's one thing to be with an old rich guy, or a young, poor guy, but not an old poor guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think past 35 you know who you are, but 40 year old guys dating girls in their young 20's are pretty pathetic. I mean clearly they can't handle having an equal and need someone young to control. I mean sure the sex is great for the man now, but what about when his peen doesn't work anymore and miss hot 20 year old wants something that works?

I think it's pretty pathetic that you think women in their 20s are not "equal" to older men and are empty passive robots that men can easily control. That's not how I was in my 20s, but perhaps you were different. When did you reach the age when men couldn't control you? Are you there yet?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex is 41 and dating a 22 year old. Everyone in our circle thinks he's a moron. I'm happily remarried to someone my own age.

Everyone is probably jealous.

Her favourite movie is a Disney movie and she acts like she's 12. Not hot either, so no. No one is jealous.

Seriously dude. No one is jealous, except the pedophiles.

It's pedo to date a 22 year old? WTF???

Get real. 22 is peak hotness for women. ALL men want to hit that.

[Anonymous]

Can the 20-30 year older guy keep up with the younger woman's sex drive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can the 20-30 year older guy keep up with the younger woman's sex drive?

All the 50-something men married to women who have totally lost interest in sex say "yeah, not problem".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex is 41 and dating a 22 year old. Everyone in our circle thinks he's a moron. I'm happily remarried to someone my own age.

Everyone is probably jealous.

Her favourite movie is a Disney movie and she acts like she's 12. Not hot either, so no. No one is jealous.

Seriously dude. No one is jealous, except the pedophiles.

It's pedo to date a 22 year old? WTF???

Get real. 22 is peak hotness for women. ALL men want to hit that.

Some people throw around "pedophile" far too often. Using this term inappropriately waters down it's true meaning and ultimately undermines the victims. Don't use this term to refer to anyone other than people who are attracted to young children.

It's gross how some insecure women use it as a weapon because they are insecure about their weight or age and want to shame men for being attracted to young, thin women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A younger husband would be better if you are planning to have kids. I would be leery of having kids with a 50+ year old, unless he's rich enough that you can afford all the help you need and will be taken care of if he dies earlier than expected.

Some of the doom and gloom here is a bit overblown though. Most 70 year olds do not need assisted living, in modern times -- especially not the mostly middle/upper-middle class people that post here. It's just a harsh reality that higher socioeconomic status means better health and longer life.

If he's 50, you've got a better than even chance of 25+ years of reasonably good health before he is old and frail. Most people would consider 25 years of a happy marriage to be a blessing. Nothing lasts forever.

But, I still wouldn't do it unless he's got money, or at least a really good career, where financial issues aren't going to be a problem. It sounds mean, but you don't want to be stuck with an old, poor man. It's one thing to be with an old rich guy, or a young, poor guy, but not an old poor guy.

Just more evidence men age like wine while women age like milk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's gross how some insecure women use it as a weapon because they are insecure about their weight or age and want to shame men for being attracted to young, thin women.

Yep

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's no doubt your money fever aligns with his fat wallet and bank accounts. Yikes

Again, men age like wine...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think past 35 you know who you are, but 40 year old guys dating girls in their young 20's are pretty pathetic. I mean clearly they can't handle having an equal and need someone young to control. I mean sure the sex is great for the man now, but what about when his peen doesn't work anymore and miss hot 20 year old wants something that works?

Keep deluding yourself that it's about "control." Also, not only is there viagra and all sorts of ED pills, but when it comes to that? We'll kick you to the curb and find another hot woman.