Dating an older man - 20 years older

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's no doubt your money fever aligns with his fat wallet and bank accounts. Yikes

Again, men age like wine...

Their penises don’t. 😀

Actually they do. Men have performance issues beginning their 40s, particular if they don't eat healthy, don't exercise and drink. It's really hard for a woman in 40s to find a partner with matching libido who would fully satisfy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's no doubt your money fever aligns with his fat wallet and bank accounts. Yikes

Again, men age like wine...

Their penises don’t. 😀[/quot
Actually they do. Men have performance issues beginning their 40s, particular if they don't eat healthy, don't exercise and drink. It's really hard for a woman in 40s to find a partner with matching libido who would fully satisfy

Ummm…that is what I meant…penis does NOT work. Date close to your age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you believe a relationship between a 30 year old woman and 50 year old man could actually succeed, assuming everything else is perfect. The man is divorced with almost grown-up children. Careers, interests, and maturity align. Is the age difference just too much??

For me, no way. It maybe ok now but, you are young and when you are 50 ( still young) He will be 70. Do you want to be his caretaker? Now some 70 year olds are fine but, you never know!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I suppose one of the biggest concerns is that he will start to grow older much sooner and I would and the relationship dynamic may quickly change. Of course, this could happen with any relationship - sickness and accidents are always a possibility, but in this case - the change is almost a certainty. Does anyone have first hand experience with something like this? Would this be too risky and just not worth it? Kids are not an issue, not planning on kids.

I wouldn't want to be step-mom to kids my own age. Yikes!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex is 41 and dating a 22 year old. Everyone in our circle thinks he's a moron. I'm happily remarried to someone my own age.

Everyone is probably jealous.

Jealous of his babysitting job?

This is the case in my circle as well. People are minimally polite, but millennial girlfriends are tolerated, perhaps pitied for their naivete, but never fully accepted. The men are looked down upon and excluded if we don't feel like dealing with the girlfriend at a particular event.

Wow, talk about being defensive. And the younger woman is supposedly the childish one?

Right. Sorry, but it does seem like the stereotypical Old Hens Circling the Wagon in response to a "threat" (a younger woman).

My DH has a friend in his 50s who was dating someone in her 20s. I invited her to an event we were having and tried to talk with her. Just couldn’t find anything in common - she is barely older than my college aged daughter. So I hit on the brilliant idea of having my DD, who is home for the summer, chat with her. She came back 5 mins later and said “that girl and I are never going to be friends. She is too weird.” I do think women who date men that much older are a bit weird. As for my DH’s friend. Just yuck. He has a DD not far in age from his girlfriend and it creeps me (and DH) out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's no doubt your money fever aligns with his fat wallet and bank accounts. Yikes

Again, men age like wine...

Their penises don’t. 😀

Actually they do. Men have performance issues beginning their 40s, particular if they don't eat healthy, don't exercise and drink. It's really hard for a woman in 40s to find a partner with matching libido who would fully satisfy

This is very true. Even men who eat healthy exercise sleep well are not stressed still experience sexual performance issues past 40. I won't get into the biological explanations but it's normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am in my 40s and I was dating a woman in her 20s. It was the best sex. I miss it. The relationship wasn’t going anywhere though because we were in different places in life. She didn’t want kids. I have kids from my first marriage. She was never bothered by the age gap. In fact I might have been bothered more by it.

Reading through these responses and so many others say they miss sex with 20 year olds. What is it that made it so much better than whatever you have going on now? I’m in my late 30s and I feel like I’m so much better at sex now than when I was in my 20s. Would like to know what is so great about sex with someone that is not as experienced?

[Anonymous]

I get being with someone younger but not sure I understand what is so much better about the sex. Thinking back to when I was in my 20s I was not great in bed. It wasn’t until I met my husband in my 30s and we had such a strong connection it made the sex awesome!

- 40 female

[Anonymous]

I think for the men it’s mental? Like wow she’s so good looking, feels so great. I’m the man thing. And sex is mental after the basic is met. But no early 20s girl is good in bed unless she’s slept with a lot of people.

Same with young men. They just don’t have enough experience. Late 20s is different. I’m a 37 woman and I think men in late 20s to early 30s are so hot and good in bed.

20 years is a huge gap and it’s only successful when there is a lot of money involved LONG term. Short term anyone of any age gets together even when it doesn’t make sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think for the men it’s mental? Like wow she’s so good looking, feels so great. I’m the man thing. And sex is mental after the basic is met. But no early 20s girl is good in bed unless she’s slept with a lot of people.

Same with young men. They just don’t have enough experience. Late 20s is different. I’m a 37 woman and I think men in late 20s to early 30s are so hot and good in bed.

20 years is a huge gap and it’s only successful when there is a lot of money involved LONG term. Short term anyone of any age gets together even when it doesn’t make sense.

Yeah maybe it is a mental thing. As a 40 year old female dating men in their 40s, most of them have been with a 20ish year old recently. It’s hard because they all have said how great the sex is and when I ask why or what it is that they did that made it so good I have never really been able to get an answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you believe a relationship between a 30 year old woman and 50 year old man could actually succeed, assuming everything else is perfect. The man is divorced with almost grown-up children. Careers, interests, and maturity align. Is the age difference just too much??

For me, no way. It maybe ok now but, you are young and when you are 50 ( still young) He will be 70. Do you want to be his caretaker? Now some 70 year olds are fine but, you never know!

+1 DH is six years older than I am, and we already are starting to hit the age difference issues, like retirement. Lucky for him, I'm going to retire early, but if I couldn't afford to do that, I think this would be an issue in our marriage.

I could not imagine as my 50 yr old self having sex with a 70 yr old. Gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you believe a relationship between a 30 year old woman and 50 year old man could actually succeed, assuming everything else is perfect. The man is divorced with almost grown-up children. Careers, interests, and maturity align. Is the age difference just too much??

For me, no way. It maybe ok now but, you are young and when you are 50 ( still young) He will be 70. Do you want to be his caretaker? Now some 70 year olds are fine but, you never know!

+1 DH is six years older than I am, and we already are starting to hit the age difference issues, like retirement. Lucky for him, I'm going to retire early, but if I couldn't afford to do that, I think this would be an issue in our marriage.

I could not imagine as my 50 yr old self having sex with a 70 yr old. Gross.

I mean, why would any person be with someone 15+ years older if that person is retired and they are not? Typically, there is at least a financial benefit to being in a relationship with an older person. If they are old and retired and you are young and working, why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you believe a relationship between a 30 year old woman and 50 year old man could actually succeed, assuming everything else is perfect. The man is divorced with almost grown-up children. Careers, interests, and maturity align. Is the age difference just too much??

For me, no way. It maybe ok now but, you are young and when you are 50 ( still young) He will be 70. Do you want to be his caretaker? Now some 70 year olds are fine but, you never know!

+1 DH is six years older than I am, and we already are starting to hit the age difference issues, like retirement. Lucky for him, I'm going to retire early, but if I couldn't afford to do that, I think this would be an issue in our marriage.

I could not imagine as my 50 yr old self having sex with a 70 yr old. Gross.

I mean, why would any person be with someone 15+ years older if that person is retired and they are not? Typically, there is at least a financial benefit to being in a relationship with an older person. If they are old and retired and you are young and working, why?

Right, but OP can't see that right now because the man is 50, and presumably still working.

55 is still pretty young, but 75 is when people start to slow down. No one knows what he will be like at 75, of course, but statistically, a 75 yr old starts to really slow down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you believe a relationship between a 30 year old woman and 50 year old man could actually succeed, assuming everything else is perfect. The man is divorced with almost grown-up children. Careers, interests, and maturity align. Is the age difference just too much??

For me, no way. It maybe ok now but, you are young and when you are 50 ( still young) He will be 70. Do you want to be his caretaker? Now some 70 year olds are fine but, you never know!

+1 DH is six years older than I am, and we already are starting to hit the age difference issues, like retirement. Lucky for him, I'm going to retire early, but if I couldn't afford to do that, I think this would be an issue in our marriage.

I could not imagine as my 50 yr old self having sex with a 70 yr old. Gross.

I mean, why would any person be with someone 15+ years older if that person is retired and they are not? Typically, there is at least a financial benefit to being in a relationship with an older person. If they are old and retired and you are young and working, why?

Right, but OP can't see that right now because the man is 50, and presumably still working.

55 is still pretty young, but 75 is when people start to slow down. No one knows what he will be like at 75, of course, but statistically, a 75 yr old starts to really slow down.

slow down? LOL
statistically a USA male is a couple years from death at 75 (1.33 yrs according to google average male lifespan is 76.33yrs in USA)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's no doubt your money fever aligns with his fat wallet and bank accounts. Yikes

Again, men age like wine...

Their penises don’t. 😀

Actually they do. Men have performance issues beginning their 40s, particular if they don't eat healthy, don't exercise and drink. It's really hard for a woman in 40s to find a partner with matching libido who would fully satisfy

This is very true. Even men who eat healthy exercise sleep well are not stressed still experience sexual performance issues past 40. I won't get into the biological explanations but it's normal.

Frank Thomas can tell everyone about the issues.