Dating an older man - 20 years older

[Anonymous]

The age difference is actually is very good thing. When a spouse is 75 and the other is 55. The younger spouse can actually give loving care to the older spouse if needed.
When you are both the same age, when you are both 75 and one needs care, the other is too old to provide. You’ll both struggle and suffer more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The age difference is actually is very good thing. When a spouse is 75 and the other is 55. The younger spouse can actually give loving care to the older spouse if needed.
When you are both the same age, when you are both 75 and one needs care, the other is too old to provide. You’ll both struggle and suffer more.

No. What happens when the younger ones needs care and other one is too old to help? The winner is the older man.

I’m in this situation and it sucks. When you’re young and he’s relatively young it’s fun but not later on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As my mother would say, 50 is 30 if he’s rich

Exactly

The younger spouse gets life insurance and all the assets. If the age difference is 20 years the woman would be still in her 60s and able to enjoy spending it for at least 10 years. It’s a trade-off.

[Anonymous]

My grandmother never had to nurse my grandfather, he died in his early 80s, totally healthy and still working until his last day.

But she was in her early 60s. So she was alone for the final 2 decades of her life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you believe a relationship between a 30 year old woman and 50 year old man could actually succeed, assuming everything else is perfect. The man is divorced with almost grown-up children. Careers, interests, and maturity align. Is the age difference just too much??

I think it can work. A 30yo woman should be at the point where she has grown-up interests—she shouldn't be trying to go to a bar every night, etc. It'll be fine. He'll be a better dad than your average 30yo who is still immature and/or grinding hard to be successful, and she'll be a better partner than a woman his own age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you believe a relationship between a 30 year old woman and 50 year old man could actually succeed, assuming everything else is perfect. The man is divorced with almost grown-up children. Careers, interests, and maturity align. Is the age difference just too much??

I think it can work. A 30yo woman should be at the point where she has grown-up interests—she shouldn't be trying to go to a bar every night, etc. It'll be fine. He'll be a better dad than your average 30yo who is still immature and/or grinding hard to be successful, and she'll be a better partner than a woman his own age.

I was never sexually attracted to anyone older than 15 years of my age. At any point of my life - 20,30, 40s. Just don’t consider these older men in a sexual way. I was always able to find someone decent within 10 years of my age.
Hope these younger women are no money hinder ho..s.

[Anonymous]

When I was in my mid 20s I dated a couple of guys in their late 40s. They weren’t marriage material for many reasons but at 25 being spoiled rotten was a real treat. I really liked them and I wasn’t after their money. But 20 years is a huge gap to deal with as you get older. My husband is one year older than me and that’s just fine.

[Anonymous]

My exDH is now with someone 14 years younger. She's cute, like a younger version of me (so I've been told by others) but seems like an emotional disaster, less financially secure. I can't imagine it will last or that she'll enjoy him as he ages.

[Anonymous]

In general men tend to have more health issues and sooner as they aged compared to women. So any woman dating a man who is 50+ needs to factor that in.

However alcohol seems to have equalized this health trend. The degree to which women are consuming alcohol they should be the one now to worry about someone taking care of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The age difference is actually is very good thing. When a spouse is 75 and the other is 55. The younger spouse can actually give loving care to the older spouse if needed.
When you are both the same age, when you are both 75 and one needs care, the other is too old to provide. You’ll both struggle and suffer more.

No. What happens when the younger ones needs care and other one is too old to help? The winner is the older man.

I’m in this situation and it sucks. When you’re young and he’s relatively young it’s fun but not later on.

Still worse when you are both old. No one can support the other. It sucks.
My parents were like that. They were the same age and one couldn’t help the other. It was painful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The age difference is actually is very good thing. When a spouse is 75 and the other is 55. The younger spouse can actually give loving care to the older spouse if needed.
When you are both the same age, when you are both 75 and one needs care, the other is too old to provide. You’ll both struggle and suffer more.

No. What happens when the younger ones needs care and other one is too old to help? The winner is the older man.

I’m in this situation and it sucks. When you’re young and he’s relatively young it’s fun but not later on.

Still worse when you are both old. No one can support the other. It sucks.
My parents were like that. They were the same age and one couldn’t help the other. It was painful.

Maybe your mom just had a poor health. Mine is traveling on her own around the world and doesn’t want any 10+ older man to take care

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's no doubt your money fever aligns with his fat wallet and bank accounts. Yikes

Again, men age like wine...

Their penises don’t. 😀

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is working for me. He accepts me and treats me with respect. He is present in our relationship. We have an intimate sexual and emotional bond.

It doesn't hurt that he looks 20 years younger, is curious and creative and has the energy of a young man. He's 72 and just retired this year.

That won’t last much longer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In general men tend to have more health issues and sooner as they aged compared to women. So any woman dating a man who is 50+ needs to factor that in.

However alcohol seems to have equalized this health trend. The degree to which women are consuming alcohol they should be the one now to worry about someone taking care of them.

Not wrong.

The reality is that a fit, healthy, kind, funny, successful, charming, regrettably-divorced man in his 50s has a million options - from twenty-something to sixty-something.

But yes, women who drink excessively, not happening.

I'm a man and fitness is important to me. Not just for me, but for any potential partner. You have no idea what life is going to throw your way when you are 50+. So character, values, and most importantly, connection are what ultimately matter.

After the first month or two.

Attraction is attraction. And it matters. Both ways obviously. And that's going to change with time. But when the attraction is there, and it's satisfied, things take on their own dynamic.

And these days, it's going both ways. It's not at all uncommon for "older" women to date "younger men." Maybe not totally seriously, but really. Not that complicated.

In the end, same as always. You click or you don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you believe a relationship between a 30 year old woman and 50 year old man could actually succeed, assuming everything else is perfect. The man is divorced with almost grown-up children. Careers, interests, and maturity align. Is the age difference just too much??

I’m 62 and don’t believe I else date an 82 year old. I’m done care taking.

This is wise. My 90 year old grandfather's current wife is 70; they married when he was in his early 70s and she was in her early 50s.

She (somehow) feels blindsided by the vast gap in health/ability now that he's declining. She still wants to be an "active senior" and is frustrated.

Watching all that unfold, I'd never date someone more than 10 years older than me, but honestly would feel better with 5 or less.

What about 7 yrs?