Teen puts down my profession

[Anonymous]

Some DCUM posts are so ridiculous, it's hard to believe...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As another poster said, you've likely had a hand in creating your brat. I'm guessing all his life he's been told how gifted he was, how special, etc. My mom did that to me and I was a complete bitch until my soph year in college when I matured. Congrats OP

I never ever told him the above things.
EVER

What is the benefit of being gifted if you don't accomplish things? He wonders why I am not satisfied with average marks he gets. He actually tells me I shouldn't raise my expectations of him because he is gifted.

He's not gifted. High IQ really means very little in the real world.
Gifted is as gifted does. That's why FCPS has an advanced academic program. IQ score alone won't get you in, nor should it.

He is actually gifted according to the IQ testing.

deemed "gifted" by whom? All I see here is a high IQ -- which isn't translating into academic performance

Psychologist.
He was in a gifted program until this year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some DCUM posts are so ridiculous, it's hard to believe...

How?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Treating your parents like crap is an age old tradition. He probably tells your DH he's old and slow. He'll grow out if it - hopefully.

a slight aside, but I (a DH) am, in fact, old and slow. If DC got mad at me for some reason I wouldn't expect t him to stifle himself in pointing that out. I still know he loves me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As another poster said, you've likely had a hand in creating your brat. I'm guessing all his life he's been told how gifted he was, how special, etc. My mom did that to me and I was a complete bitch until my soph year in college when I matured. Congrats OP

I never ever told him the above things.
EVER

What is the benefit of being gifted if you don't accomplish things? He wonders why I am not satisfied with average marks he gets. He actually tells me I shouldn't raise my expectations of him because he is gifted.

He's not gifted. High IQ really means very little in the real world.
Gifted is as gifted does. That's why FCPS has an advanced academic program. IQ score alone won't get you in, nor should it.

He is actually gifted according to the IQ testing.

deemed "gifted" by whom? All I see here is a high IQ -- which isn't translating into academic performance

Psychologist.
He was in a gifted program until this year.

psychologist? well there ya go.
oh, and what "gifted" program is this? Don't say FCPS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a Bachelors degree in nursing. I work PT as an RN.

My son is 14. He is gifted, IQ 135. He is also lazy and gets mediocre marks. When I have talks with him about getting into a good college and getting a good job, he says things like:
How much money do you make? I will make way more.
You are only rich because dad makes a lot of money.


When I talk about him reaching his potential, he says things like:
Why didn't YOU go to medical school?
Why didn't YOU reach your potential?
Oh, wow you're a nurse, big deal.
Then he will remark that I am not gifted and he is and he is smarter than me.

This is utterly disrespectful and I'm clearly just venting. Any advice?

I'm a mom of four grown kids. One high schooler. Two of mine are "highly gifted", whatever that means.

My thoughts - You created this. Your son didn't turn into a little ass overnight. You had better get him under control now or you are going to be in for a miserable four + years.

If one of my kids talked to me like that, his entire would come crashing down on him like a brick house. He would have a matress and basic clothing in his room and that's it. No phone, no computer, nothing but the absolute minimum. You need to ask yourself why you would tolerate disrespect from anyone, especially a child that you provide for. Also, if one of my boys had talked to me like that. My husband would have jumped to my defense.

You raised a disrespectful brat with an over-inflated sense of self-worth. It may honestly be too late to turn this around without a lot of help.

I almost never side with the people who recommend hard line discipline approaches to teen misbehavior, but I must say I found myself nodding at some of this. I honestly shudder to think what my husband would say if he overheard our 14 year old talk to me like that. And some electronic-free time in a spartan room could be a useful way for the kid to contemplate the many ways in which his mom's efforts benefit his life.

+1 especially since you likely sacrificed hours/advancement to stay home with him when he was young. Oh, I'd be pissed!
Strip his belongings down to bare essentials. Explain that dad's money is used to save for his college, the mortgage, etc. Your money goes to his belongings. If he is going to be so rude, then you stop providing for him besides food and clothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Treating your parents like crap is an age old tradition. He probably tells your DH he's old and slow. He'll grow out if it - hopefully.

And this is why parents come on here complaining about how their kids are disrespectful, some at home, some at school -- where's that thread about how some MS students from a wealthy area are disrespectful to teachers? Not all teens are *this* disrespectful to their parents, nor should any be.

No, you don't just hope that he grows out of it. Maybe he will, maybe he won't. But, you deal with it now, and not just say, "oh he's just being a teen". WTF kind of parenting is this. No wonder there are so many entitled brats running around. Deal with your bratty kids so society doesn't have to be subjected to their selfish, entitled attitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As another poster said, you've likely had a hand in creating your brat. I'm guessing all his life he's been told how gifted he was, how special, etc. My mom did that to me and I was a complete bitch until my soph year in college when I matured. Congrats OP

I never ever told him the above things.
EVER

What is the benefit of being gifted if you don't accomplish things? He wonders why I am not satisfied with average marks he gets. He actually tells me I shouldn't raise my expectations of him because he is gifted.

He's not gifted. High IQ really means very little in the real world.
Gifted is as gifted does. That's why FCPS has an advanced academic program. IQ score alone won't get you in, nor should it.

He is actually gifted according to the IQ testing.

deemed "gifted" by whom? All I see here is a high IQ -- which isn't translating into academic performance

Psychologist.
He was in a gifted program until this year.

psychologist? well there ya go.
oh, and what "gifted" program is this? Don't say FCPS.

Who else would do the testing?
We are not anywhere near DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some DCUM posts are so ridiculous, it's hard to believe...

How?

It's hard to believe you (OP) are a parent. I actually think you are a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As another poster said, you've likely had a hand in creating your brat. I'm guessing all his life he's been told how gifted he was, how special, etc. My mom did that to me and I was a complete bitch until my soph year in college when I matured. Congrats OP

I never ever told him the above things.
EVER

What is the benefit of being gifted if you don't accomplish things? He wonders why I am not satisfied with average marks he gets. He actually tells me I shouldn't raise my expectations of him because he is gifted.

He's not gifted. High IQ really means very little in the real world.
Gifted is as gifted does. That's why FCPS has an advanced academic program. IQ score alone won't get you in, nor should it.

He is actually gifted according to the IQ testing.

deemed "gifted" by whom? All I see here is a high IQ -- which isn't translating into academic performance

Psychologist.
He was in a gifted program until this year.

um... is that a paid tester? Someone you paid money to to administer an IQ test?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:wtf. Take away all privileges and stop doing things for him. If he's so smart, tell him to figure out a way to start making money now. Some very smart, enterprising 14 yr olds are able to do this.

If he is so smart, why does he get such mediocre grades? And why do you continue to pay for his private school? Don't pay for his college. Let him figure it out, if he's so smart.

I'm gonna be tough on you here -- you are a wimp, and enabling him.

And where is the father in all of this? He needs to set his son straight.

I appreciate your advice.
DH is setting him straight, that part is covered.
This is his first year of private school. I am reconsidering next year TBH. Debating pulling him out.
How am I enabling him?

By paying for his private school. Do you buy lots of things for him? Is he materially spoiled? Do you give him chores? Do you have other kids? Can you go work FT? Let him figure out life on his own. I know as a parent you don't want to wash your hands of him or let him make bad life choices, but sometimes, you just have to, and he is still young enough where he can come back from it.

No, I don't buy a lot of things for him, he doesn't ask for much either.
He has his own phone and computer but that's all.
I can go FT but due to picking him up from school, I work PT. I will be honest, I enjoy a flexible PT schedule.
I have another 16 year old.
Chores: dishes, laundry etc -- yes he does chores. Though he complains.

He needs to get himself to and from school. Bike, bus, metro, whatever. No more rides.

He needs to wash all his own clothes. He needs a job to earn money for more clothes when they are worn out -- not allowance (e.g. mowing lawn for neighbors).

He needs to pay for his own phone with money he earns from working. If he doesn't then it will be cut off.

He and your other child need to be fully responsible for making the family dinner at least 2 nights a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As another poster said, you've likely had a hand in creating your brat. I'm guessing all his life he's been told how gifted he was, how special, etc. My mom did that to me and I was a complete bitch until my soph year in college when I matured. Congrats OP

I never ever told him the above things.
EVER

What is the benefit of being gifted if you don't accomplish things? He wonders why I am not satisfied with average marks he gets. He actually tells me I shouldn't raise my expectations of him because he is gifted.

He's not gifted. High IQ really means very little in the real world.
Gifted is as gifted does. That's why FCPS has an advanced academic program. IQ score alone won't get you in, nor should it.

He is actually gifted according to the IQ testing.

deemed "gifted" by whom? All I see here is a high IQ -- which isn't translating into academic performance

Psychologist.
He was in a gifted program until this year.

um... is that a paid tester? Someone you paid money to to administer an IQ test?

Nope, it was don't through the school.
Nice try though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As another poster said, you've likely had a hand in creating your brat. I'm guessing all his life he's been told how gifted he was, how special, etc. My mom did that to me and I was a complete bitch until my soph year in college when I matured. Congrats OP

I never ever told him the above things.
EVER

What is the benefit of being gifted if you don't accomplish things? He wonders why I am not satisfied with average marks he gets. He actually tells me I shouldn't raise my expectations of him because he is gifted.

He's not gifted. High IQ really means very little in the real world.
Gifted is as gifted does. That's why FCPS has an advanced academic program. IQ score alone won't get you in, nor should it.

He is actually gifted according to the IQ testing.

deemed "gifted" by whom? All I see here is a high IQ -- which isn't translating into academic performance

Psychologist.
He was in a gifted program until this year.

um... is that a paid tester? Someone you paid money to to administer an IQ test?

Nope, it was don't through the school.
Nice try though.

I mean DONE

[Anonymous]

That phone and the computer? The phone is taken away until he can pay you back for it by working jobs around the neighborhood (dog walking, shoveling, lawn mowing, etc).

The computer is only used for homework. Nothing else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some DCUM posts are so ridiculous, it's hard to believe...

How?

It's hard to believe you (OP) are a parent. I actually think you are a troll.

What makes it hard to believe?