Teen puts down my profession

[Anonymous]

I have a Bachelors degree in nursing. I work PT as an RN.

My son is 14. He is gifted, IQ 135. He is also lazy and gets mediocre marks. When I have talks with him about getting into a good college and getting a good job, he says things like:
How much money do you make? I will make way more.
You are only rich because dad makes a lot of money.


When I talk about him reaching his potential, he says things like:
Why didn't YOU go to medical school?
Why didn't YOU reach your potential?
Oh, wow you're a nurse, big deal.
Then he will remark that I am not gifted and he is and he is smarter than me.

This is utterly disrespectful and I'm clearly just venting. Any advice?

[Anonymous]

Oh, it's my my lowly profession that pays for his private school BTW.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, no advice but god, teenagers are jerks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, no advice but god, teenagers are jerks!

Thanks, I'm wondering where I went wrong. Usually, he is a good kid. But sometimes his mouth gets the better of him.

[Anonymous]

How do you respond?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, no advice but god, teenagers are jerks!

Thanks, I'm wondering where I went wrong. Usually, he is a good kid. But sometimes his mouth gets the better of him.

Teenagers don't need parents to have gone "wrong" to be jerks, they're naturally talented that way.

[Anonymous]

Take away anything your salary pays for. Snacks out with friends after school? Gone. Money for shopping? Gone. Cool new sneakers? Gone. New baseball hat? Gone.

Also, Dad needs to shut your son down when he talks like this. Both because it's disrespectful to his wife, and because it's unacceptable for your son to talk to his mother that way.

[Anonymous]

wtf. Take away all privileges and stop doing things for him. If he's so smart, tell him to figure out a way to start making money now. Some very smart, enterprising 14 yr olds are able to do this.

If he is so smart, why does he get such mediocre grades? And why do you continue to pay for his private school? Don't pay for his college. Let him figure it out, if he's so smart.

I'm gonna be tough on you here -- you are a wimp, and enabling him.

And where is the father in all of this? He needs to set his son straight.

[Anonymous]

Yes teenagers are jerks. I say we pit them all against each other in a mad contest in which they must fight for their lives in the wilderness with nothing but bows and arrows and steal food and watch them distantly on gigantic screens... oh wait.

(hunger games is mos def a parents-of-teens fantasy)

[Anonymous]

This is what happens when you don't discipline your child enough. It's a partially cultural issue for certain ethnic groups. They grow up to be disrespectful. I would never speak to my mom that way. Never! not even if she worked as a cashier.

[Anonymous]

Not all teens are jerks. Sounds like OP's kid knows no boundary. It's parents job to establish and communicate boundaries. It's called parenting.

[Anonymous]

Does he seem empathetic in general? (Not this particular situation, obviously). But if he has empathy he will come back around eventually.

But I do wonder where he has learned to associate human worth with a paycheck. Home? School? I'd try to counteract that. Most of us work out of necessity. Those of us who are lucky get to do something we find fulfilling on some level. Helping others is the most laudable of all professions. What are his aspirations anyway?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you respond?

I state that my profession was the perfect fit for me. It allowed me to work PT when I needed to and nights when I needed to. It allowed me to stay home when they were little, it's very flexible. I tell him I never wanted to be a doctor. I am happy being a nurse. I enjoy helping people the way I do.

I tell him that in the real world, nobody asks if you are gifted. You are judged on your grades and accomplishments.

Now I just stop him in his tracks and tell him to stop being disrespectful. If he continues being rude, he loses things like the phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take away anything your salary pays for. Snacks out with friends after school? Gone. Money for shopping? Gone. Cool new sneakers? Gone. New baseball hat? Gone.

Also, Dad needs to shut your son down when he talks like this. Both because it's disrespectful to his wife, and because it's unacceptable for your son to talk to his mother that way.

DH does do this. He is great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a Bachelors degree in nursing. I work PT as an RN.

My son is 14. He is gifted, IQ 135. He is also lazy and gets mediocre marks. When I have talks with him about getting into a good college and getting a good job, he says things like:
How much money do you make? I will make way more.
You are only rich because dad makes a lot of money.


When I talk about him reaching his potential, he says things like:
Why didn't YOU go to medical school?
Why didn't YOU reach your potential?
Oh, wow you're a nurse, big deal.
Then he will remark that I am not gifted and he is and he is smarter than me.

This is utterly disrespectful and I'm clearly just venting. Any advice?

I'm a mom of four grown kids. One high schooler. Two of mine are "highly gifted", whatever that means.

My thoughts - You created this. Your son didn't turn into a little ass overnight. You had better get him under control now or you are going to be in for a miserable four + years.

If one of my kids talked to me like that, his entire would come crashing down on him like a brick house. He would have a matress and basic clothing in his room and that's it. No phone, no computer, nothing but the absolute minimum. You need to ask yourself why you would tolerate disrespect from anyone, especially a child that you provide for. Also, if one of my boys had talked to me like that. My husband would have jumped to my defense.

You raised a disrespectful brat with an over-inflated sense of self-worth. It may honestly be too late to turn this around without a lot of help.