Teen puts down my profession

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a Bachelors degree in nursing. I work PT as an RN.

My son is 14. He is gifted, IQ 135. He is also lazy and gets mediocre marks. When I have talks with him about getting into a good college and getting a good job, he says things like:
How much money do you make? I will make way more.
You are only rich because dad makes a lot of money.


When I talk about him reaching his potential, he says things like:
Why didn't YOU go to medical school?
Why didn't YOU reach your potential?
Oh, wow you're a nurse, big deal.
Then he will remark that I am not gifted and he is and he is smarter than me.

This is utterly disrespectful and I'm clearly just venting. Any advice?

I haven't read any replies yet, but I assure you that your kid would find a way to diss you if you were an astronaught. I'm a SAHM and an OP of another thread where my 13 y.o. DD called me "the maid." A PP on that thread recommended to me a fantastic book called, "Yes, Your Teen is Crazy," which I am recommending to you! It changed our dynamic completely (because it changed ME and MY reaction to this kind of stuff!)

Good luck, OP. Your teen is just being a teen---crazy.

[Anonymous]

^astronaut! LOL

[Anonymous]

I'm a successful lawyer but my teens could care less as long as their lives aren't interrupted. They think life revolves around them like most teens. Many of the moms at their private school don't work or work from home. I have flexible hours so I can pick them up and attend to their busy sports schedules. I find it interesting your son seems preoccupied with your profession. I don't think my kids really know what I or their dad ( whose in banking) do for a living.

[Anonymous]

^^ who's...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you respond?

I state that my profession was the perfect fit for me. It allowed me to work PT when I needed to and nights when I needed to. It allowed me to stay home when they were little, it's very flexible. I tell him I never wanted to be a doctor. I am happy being a nurse. I enjoy helping people the way I do.

I tell him that in the real world, nobody asks if you are gifted. You are judged on your grades and accomplishments.

Now I just stop him in his tracks and tell him to stop being disrespectful. If he continues being rude, he loses things like the phone.

I like what you're saying to him- these extreme punitive responses won't teach your DS empathy- which is what he seems to be lacking in the moment.

I think you are also doing the right thing- it's okay to say to your DS "hey, I've explained to you why enjoy my job and why it works for our family. If you continue to speak to me disrespectfully, you will lose your phone. I won't tolerate disrespect and will have to use methods that neither of us like if you won't be respectful."

It sounds like you're doing exactly the right thing.

[Anonymous]

Agree with the above.

[Anonymous]

OP I would point out that your sins IQ is not really 'gifted'.
I have that IQ and studied engineering in college. I'd call that IQ the bare minimum to get by in grad school but nothing special - I still had to work my ass off to do well.
I noticed that the kids who were told that they were 'special' when they were young were often the first to leave school in disgust because things weren't going their way (and apparently they were supposed to because they were told that's how it should be).

I only knew my IQ because I was poor enough to volunteer myself for paid research studies at the NIH while I was in college.. You know - I was a laboratory rat I guess and they measured my IQ one day.
I wouldn't tell your kid he's gifted. Bright maybe, gifted - no.

[Anonymous]

In a strange way I think op is bragging about her 'ambitious' son and making herself a martyr.