When does picky eating become abnormal or a eating disorder? 13yo

OP, I was your stepson. In fact, I ate fewer foods than he did (and would not eat meat either-- still don't). This lasted probably until college.

I have empathy for your SS because no one WANTS to be a picky eater. He's not just being a pain in the ass, or spoiled, or whatever. Eating foods that were outside of my comfort zone was seriously anxiety-inducing for me.

But the worst part was that my eating was a THING. It was all anyone could talk about at any family gathering. My parents were always freaking out about it. Everyone was always offering advice about it. I even had an uncle who seriously suggested force-feeding me.

All I wanted was for people to LEAVE ME ALONE ABOUT IT. By age 13, your SS is perfectly capable of making something for himself if he doesn't like what he is served. If you allow this, it will probably be a relief. Just say, "Hey SS, we are having XYZ for dinner tonight. If you would like something else, there's chicken nuggets in the fridge (or whatever). He is quite old enough to operate a toaster oven. And in restaurants, if he doesn't want any seasoning on the french fries or lettuce on his hamburger, he is old enough to use his words and tell the waiter how he wants his food prepared.

So basically, my advice is to leave it alone, and don't infantalize him. Drop the other end of the rope. He won't starve.

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04/05/2016 21:50

Subject: When does picky eating become abnormal or a eating disorder? 13yo

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Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are more judgmental than those waiters you are worried about. I'm 44 and way more selective an eater than your SS and I get by just fine. I don't enjoy eating as an adventure sport or hobby as some people do, bit there's nothing wrong with that. I eat enough to get by. I cannot stand pressure from people who are offended by my limited palette. Luckily, most people do t take it personally. Racist t has nothing to do with them. They understand it is just a quirk of mine, and they have their own quirks.

Of all the advice posted here, the best is to read and learn from Ellyn Satter.

And I say this as a stepmom: your contempt for your SS's mom is showing, and it doesn't flatter you.

OP, the person quoted above is being an ass. Please ignore the comment.

I think you are a very thoughtful and caring stepmom who has a firm grasp on the reality of the situation, while I don't think there is harm in an occassional lunchable ( for elementary kids) or pop tarts that should not be his mainstay.

11:32's advice is spot on!!

My kids eat nearly everything, I am lucky, and I do the exact same things that 11:32 suggests when introducing new foods.