My 9 year old daughter gained 9lbs in the past six months

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's pretty normal. I was rail thin up until age 10-11 where I became pudgy. I was in the swim team so was swimming 4-5 evenings a week, ate healthy (my parents were health nuts) but it made no difference. Right around 13, I got my period, shot up in height (but not weight) and was rail thin again - 5'6" and 95lbs until college where I gained 10 lbs ?

If her doctor is not concerned, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Just make sure you don't make a big deal about her weight. I had terribly low self esteem because my dad constantly commented on my chubbiness, so much so that I thought I was still fat and ugly at 95lbs. I still have a hard time with weight and feel fat and disgusting even when other people think I'm thin and look good. what you do and say will have a lasting impact and can be very damaging.

Her doctor is concerned, she's the one who brought it up. And yes I realize it's normal to gain some weight right before puberty, but is it normal to become medically overweight?

[Anonymous]

My mother in Europe put me on a diet when I was 2 years old, and that was decades ago. No she wasn't crazy, I was eating like there was no tomorrow. And it was all homemade good food. I love food, still do. Could eat all day long! I was what grandma called "healthy" and by the time I was 11 I wasn't heavy but I wasn't skinny either. But, all the healthy food I ate shaped my eating habits and at 15 I started eating even healthier, fish,veggies, on my own. Telling 9 year old to control her own eating is a recipe for failure, she likes it, it feels good and she is a kid. On top of it she needs to eat to grow and be healthy. I don't get the impression that OP necessarily wants our advice on how to proceed, just some compassion from us. She will most likely see nutritionist, endocrinologist etc for advice if she wasn't already doing all of it. OP, good luck. The only thing I could say is to show your daughter unconditional love and care, and not criticism, that is the most important thing IMO. No matter the weight, the other issues, always tell her that she is most beautiful child in the world, she will start saying things like, maybe to you and you should say yes, to me you are everything in the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother in Europe put me on a diet when I was 2 years old, and that was decades ago. No she wasn't crazy, I was eating like there was no tomorrow. And it was all homemade good food. I love food, still do. Could eat all day long! I was what grandma called "healthy" and by the time I was 11 I wasn't heavy but I wasn't skinny either. But, all the healthy food I ate shaped my eating habits and at 15 I started eating even healthier, fish,veggies, on my own. Telling 9 year old to control her own eating is a recipe for failure, she likes it, it feels good and she is a kid. On top of it she needs to eat to grow and be healthy. I don't get the impression that OP necessarily wants our advice on how to proceed, just some compassion from us. She will most likely see nutritionist, endocrinologist etc for advice if she wasn't already doing all of it. OP, good luck. The only thing I could say is to show your daughter unconditional love and care, and not criticism, that is the most important thing IMO. No matter the weight, the other issues, always tell her that she is most beautiful child in the world, she will start saying things like, maybe to you and you should say yes, to me you are everything in the world.

Thank you.

[Anonymous]

You can't bring weight up in this forum without people getting totally crazed. It is a difficult subject when it concerns our kids. I totally understand, OP. I have an overweight teen who started gaining weight slowly over time. Modeling good eating? Check. Modeling exercise? Check. Had doctor express concern? Check. Left it alone finally? Yes. It's still painful for me. However, my daughter is healthy and doing very well. I still believe she will get in better shape when she wants to. My mission for the past couple of years has been to make sure she doesn't continue to gain weight. Since she's now a teenager though, I don't have much - if any - control over what she eats. I don't care at all if she's a skinny adult but I want her to be in the healthy range and not in the 'obese' category for her health. So, keep being concerned, but don't overdo it. Continue healthy eating in your house. Kids absolutely put on weight before growth spurts, so watch for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Her doctor is concerned, she's the one who brought it up. And yes I realize it's normal to gain some weight right before puberty, but is it normal to become medically overweight?

Maybe it would help you to read some medical and statistical critiques of using BMI as the definition of "medically overweight".

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/04/14/a-number-that-may-not-add-up/?_r=0
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=106268439

[Anonymous]

I don't think you're wrong to be concerned but I think you need to be very careful about how you approach it. I would approach it as the family trying to be healthier together. I also don't think what you're giving her is as healthy as you think, google skim milk and childhood obesity, it's actually correlated (milk is very high in sugar wothout any fat it can cause insulin spikes and over eating). Is the yogurt or oatmeal flavored? Are you using old fashion or steel cut oats or instant (steel cut has the lowest glycemic index and you can find really good overnight crockpot recipes sweetened with apples and cinnamon, or baked oatmeal sweetened only with blueberries). Cereal also is basically empty carbs, on the rare occasion I give my kids cereal I add lots of nuts to it. What kind of bread are you using for sandwiches? Most even whole grain breads have unnecessary high fructose corn syrup and sugars, I buy bread with no added sugar at Trader Joe's or whole foods. Basically her diet looks much heavier in sugars and lower in fat and protein than it should be, but a dietician could help you more. As the parent, you do the grocery shopping so if it's a family change and everyone is doing it together and there are no other options, her tastes will adjust. It's hard to switch from sugary sweet granola bars to cookies and muffins sweetened only by bananas and carrots, but after a couple of months those old foods won't taste very good to her.

And if course, indulge in some special treats sometimes too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's pretty normal. I was rail thin up until age 10-11 where I became pudgy. I was in the swim team so was swimming 4-5 evenings a week, ate healthy (my parents were health nuts) but it made no difference. Right around 13, I got my period, shot up in height (but not weight) and was rail thin again - 5'6" and 95lbs until college where I gained 10 lbs ?

If her doctor is not concerned, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Just make sure you don't make a big deal about her weight. I had terribly low self esteem because my dad constantly commented on my chubbiness, so much so that I thought I was still fat and ugly at 95lbs. I still have a hard time with weight and feel fat and disgusting even when other people think I'm thin and look good. what you do and say will have a lasting impact and can be very damaging.

but supposedly that only went on for 2+ years? how could that having such long lasting effect on your body image issue for 20+ years? what were the comments like?

[Anonymous]

Based on the menu you showed here
a typical breakfast is either oatmeal, or cheerios, piece of fruit & skim milk
Lunch - I always pack is a sandwich, granola bar (less than 140 calories) flavored water, greek yogurt,
dinner varies but relatively healthy
we almost never have deserts and don't keep chips or any sweets in the house.

I think I would load up the lunch with fruit and veg and get rid of the sandwich and granola bar.

I have a 9 y.o. dd who has always been highter on the weight percentiles than height, so I relate to your concerns. We always talk about eating healthy, and fueling the body for its activities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's pretty normal. I was rail thin up until age 10-11 where I became pudgy. I was in the swim team so was swimming 4-5 evenings a week, ate healthy (my parents were health nuts) but it made no difference. Right around 13, I got my period, shot up in height (but not weight) and was rail thin again - 5'6" and 95lbs until college where I gained 10 lbs ?

If her doctor is not concerned, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Just make sure you don't make a big deal about her weight. I had terribly low self esteem because my dad constantly commented on my chubbiness, so much so that I thought I was still fat and ugly at 95lbs. I still have a hard time with weight and feel fat and disgusting even when other people think I'm thin and look good. what you do and say will have a lasting impact and can be very damaging.

but supposedly that only went on for 2+ years? how could that having such long lasting effect on your body image issue for 20+ years? what were the comments like?

Not the pp but sometimes things stick with you. I remember being about 12 and hearing my Dad saying something about how women with flappy arms shouldn't wear sleeveless dresses - and we were watching TV. For whatever reason it made an impression and as I've gotten older I've stopped wearing sleeveless tops. Crazy, yes but it's stuck in my head.

Please help your daughter develop healthy eating habits but also be careful what you say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is eating almost all carbs. Switch out the cereal and get rid of the granola bar. Also I'm thinking your statement that she always gets the fruit cup instead of fries is a bit of a red flag. Where does she do this? What else is she eating there. Don't deprive her of the occasional fry, but realize that when it is becoming habitual. What does she drink? What does she have for dinner? What are the portion sizes?

She eats meat at dinner. I'd like to give her more protein at breakfast but she doesn't like eggs.

Eggs are not the only source of protein available in the morning. If you want to stick to "breakfast foods," try greek yogurt with berries. If she is just eating meat at dinner, I am pretty shocked that she is overweight. My guess is that you are skipping a lot of other crap that you are serving in the evenings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure she's not eating at school? Charts show that girls that age usually need about 1700 calories a day to maintain weight. If she's dancing a lot (4 nights a week seems like she's competitive), she probably needs at least 2,000. What you are showing is...

Oatmeal + skim milk + fruit = approx. 300 calories
Sandwich + granola bar + yogurt = approximately 400 calories (These estimations are generous)

So .. basically, that's 700 calories. I can't imagine dinner that you say is healthy is over 1,000 calories, plus that isn't including the activity she's getting.

Bottom line, either something is up with what you say you give her, or she's eating elsewhere. Let this be a tale of caution... I was your daughter. At around 9, I got chubby. My Mom noticed and instead of just rolling with it, she monitored everything that went into my mouth. No chips or sweets either (heaven forbid). By the time I was 13, she enrolled me in weight watchers. I lost 20 pounds (also got my period and shot up a few inches) and have had an incredibly awful time with food, weight, and my body image and self worth for the last 20 years. Therapy is just now starting to make a difference in how I view myself (I'm a size 6, so fairly average but always view myself as a COW). PLEASE, I'm begging you - roll with it. Let the doctor's figure it out if it continues to happen with no apparent cause. She will grow out of it. What she will never grow out of is how you make her feel, if you handle it wrong. And bring some chips and sweets into the house occasionally. Moderation is key. Good luck.

I disagree, sandwhich + granola could easily be 700 calories, but I think that's okay.
I'd just make sure she keeps moving even when not in dance. She should be playing outside a lot. Don't allow her too much screen time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's pretty normal. I was rail thin up until age 10-11 where I became pudgy. I was in the swim team so was swimming 4-5 evenings a week, ate healthy (my parents were health nuts) but it made no difference. Right around 13, I got my period, shot up in height (but not weight) and was rail thin again - 5'6" and 95lbs until college where I gained 10 lbs ?

If her doctor is not concerned, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Just make sure you don't make a big deal about her weight. I had terribly low self esteem because my dad constantly commented on my chubbiness, so much so that I thought I was still fat and ugly at 95lbs. I still have a hard time with weight and feel fat and disgusting even when other people think I'm thin and look good. what you do and say will have a lasting impact and can be very damaging.

but supposedly that only went on for 2+ years? how could that having such long lasting effect on your body image issue for 20+ years? what were the comments like?

All it takes is one pointed comment from a parent or sibling to f you up forever. Sucks but it's true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's pretty normal. I was rail thin up until age 10-11 where I became pudgy. I was in the swim team so was swimming 4-5 evenings a week, ate healthy (my parents were health nuts) but it made no difference. Right around 13, I got my period, shot up in height (but not weight) and was rail thin again - 5'6" and 95lbs until college where I gained 10 lbs ?

If her doctor is not concerned, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Just make sure you don't make a big deal about her weight. I had terribly low self esteem because my dad constantly commented on my chubbiness, so much so that I thought I was still fat and ugly at 95lbs. I still have a hard time with weight and feel fat and disgusting even when other people think I'm thin and look good. what you do and say will have a lasting impact and can be very damaging.

but supposedly that only went on for 2+ years? how could that having such long lasting effect on your body image issue for 20+ years? what were the comments like?

Not the pp but sometimes things stick with you. I remember being about 12 and hearing my Dad saying something about how women with flappy arms shouldn't wear sleeveless dresses - and we were watching TV. For whatever reason it made an impression and as I've gotten older I've stopped wearing sleeveless tops. Crazy, yes but it's stuck in my head.

Please help your daughter develop healthy eating habits but also be careful what you say.

i think it's really not fair to blame your dad for your issue with sleeveless tops. he wasn't even talking about you.

also unfair for PP to blame her terribly low self esteem on some comments her dad made 20+ years ago.

[Anonymous]

She doesn't eat much food. I don't see how she could be overeating with what you typed out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She doesn't eat much food. I don't see how she could be overeating with what you typed out.

OP doesn't actually want advice. She defends the choices that aren't the best and doesn't give nearly enough information to help. Given that she thinks thAt she has given sufficient information, it is not surprising that she is failing her child nutritionally.