Did you mommy-track yourself?

[Anonymous]

Yes to Mommy Tracking. Took 10 years off, was working as an Exec Admin making $70-75K. Just started a job a month ago, part-time making $15/ an hour.

I think about the money I could have made every day. My DH works a lot and travels a lot. Our twins were preemies and could not be in daycare first year of their life.

For me it sucks!

[Anonymous]

Yes, a bit. I telecommute full time which has its repercussions. I still make 150k plus and work in a high intensity job but not jumping up to VP because I am rarely physically present. I don't know if I will choose to de-mommy track myself anytime soon - kind of tired of the rat race.

[Anonymous]

Mommy tracked to low pressure sales, instead of make 500k , at 175k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mommy tracked to low pressure sales, instead of make 500k , at 175k.

Selling what? Pharma?

[Anonymous]

Yes, I slowed down to a quite job for about seven years, which was best for me (I'm one of those people who really does best with enough sleep and a balanced life) and my child. Now I'm back to something more high-powered, though still reasonable. (Like one of the PPs, there are some really cool international jobs in my field that I'd love to take, but that's just not going to happen right now). My title and salary have definitely been less that what they could have been, but I'm happy with myself and my life so I have no interest in really thinking about it or comparing myself to others. I know a fellow mom with a very high level position that some people may envy, but she just hasn't been around for her kids activities since she started - her DH has been handling it all. That's her (their) choice - I don't judge her, I just know that that's not right for me and I'm fine if I never have that "impressive" title.

[Anonymous]

I did. I have an MD and stopped seeing patients. I miss it but I can't deal with the night calls and unflexible hours. Not to mention the occupational hazard of bringing something infectious home...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 41 and have 3 kids.
I took 5.5 years off when they were young. I went back to work when the youngest was 3 and I've now been back for 3 years.
I was thrilled to get the job I did and I work telecommute 100%, working 9 to 3pm for $95K.
I do pick up and drop off daily (all 3 are in elementary school) and I'm able to attend school events, etc. within reason.
I now have 2 kids in travel sports so our life is a complex patchwork of carpools and the like.
My husband works a "big" job---lots of stress, hours, some travel and he makes 3 times what I do.

That all said, I ran into a coworker today (I was in the office for the day) and she just got another promotion. I bet she now makes twice what I do (educated guess only).
She has my EXACT education and 10 years ago we were in the same spot professionally (albeit at different companies at that point). In the intervening years she never took time off (aside from 4 maternity leaves) and she
also has been jumping at new opportunities in our company. She has 4 kids but a husband who works part time as a realtor. I don't know the exact specifics but I get the feeling that she's the
breadwinner.

All that to say, that for the first time in years I'm wondering if I did the right thing "mommy tracking" myself. In many ways i have ideal set up. However, I wonder what would happen if I ever got divorced (I don't see this happening but I'm definitely of the opinion that you can never be to sure). I save $22K/year into my 401k and i don't worry about my retirement security should a divorce occur but I do wonder about my ability to support myself in the intervening years. Or I guess more than that I just feel that even though I'm working I've set myself up to be dependent upon my husband for the rest of my life by not going full gusto after my career.
Also, while my job is satisfying and intellectually stimulating by the nature of it's content, I'm pretty good at it by now. In many ways I've mastered it. I've been doing the SAME thing for 3 years. I was rusty when I started (I had been out for 5.5 years and even the routine of working felt new) but now it's hold hat.

Can anyone relate? Thoughts? I'm not sure what the point of my post is. I guess I just wonder if I made the right decision.

OMG, I could have written this post except I make about $60K working 20 hours a week and I never took time to SAH. I struggle ALL THE TIME with not going back to FT work, but my DH also works a big job with travel. But I actually envy him with his promotions and success. I try not to let it get to me, but sometimes the travel and dinners out are so much more sexy than carpools and mac and cheese with the kids...again... And again...and again.

I talk to my therapist about this and I am at the point where I may quit altogether (mostly because I am unhappy with my employer) but I cannot fathom what it would mean to not work. Also worry about losing my foothold in my career. And then I saw a virtual FT position come open today that would be perfect for me. Gah. I just don't know what to do. I worry that I will find something else, or quit, and the grass won't be greener on the other side.

I also worry about financial security. Less from the standpoint of divorce (though I suppose it could happen) but more from my DH having a chronic condition that could put him out of work at anytime (and yes, he often suggests I quit), and my desire for financial security for me and the kids.

I don't have any wise words. I am muddling through. You may be too. But I do think we could find a good job if we needed to. And that gets me through. Nothing is permanent.

[Anonymous]

You are 5 years behind in experience and you only work part time, so that gap is widening. That's fine. Stop thinking that you should be in the same place. You shouldn't. But that is okay as you made sacrifices for your family and are where you want to be.

I mommy-tracked by going to government from a law firm. 8 years later, my salary is still 1/2 of what it was at the firm. A couple friends who stayed are now partners making close to seven figures. Good for them. Not the decision I made. I haven't regretted it for one second!

[Anonymous]

I mommy tracked at my nonprofit. I work 3 consecutive days a week and have 4 off. While I hate seeing people get promoted to jobs that would have been mine, I am really lucky. I love my schedule. I'm not sure I'll ever feel like going back to ft. I just need to make peace with the fact that my juniors will someday be my bosses.

[Anonymous]

I am completely shocked by these numbers. I work for a great firm in a ft position with a lot of responsibility and don't make even close to what others make for part time or telecommuting jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am completely shocked by these numbers. I work for a great firm in a ft position with a lot of responsibility and don't make even close to what others make for part time or telecommuting jobs.

I am too, and I'm super curious to know what these PPs do. Are they all sales jobs? I am currently looking for PT telework jobs and I don't even know where to start! I spent almost ten years in USG and I'm feeling like I'll never find an employer that will hire me to work PT from home. (my current USG boss is letting me do it, but only temporarily until I find something else)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am completely shocked by these numbers. I work for a great firm in a ft position with a lot of responsibility and don't make even close to what others make for part time or telecommuting jobs.

I am too, and I'm super curious to know what these PPs do. Are they all sales jobs? I am currently looking for PT telework jobs and I don't even know where to start! I spent almost ten years in USG and I'm feeling like I'll never find an employer that will hire me to work PT from home. (my current USG boss is letting me do it, but only temporarily until I find something else)

I am the one making $60. It is only because I started out FT. I have been searching for years and haven't come across anything that compares, including benefits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am completely shocked by these numbers. I work for a great firm in a ft position with a lot of responsibility and don't make even close to what others make for part time or telecommuting jobs.

I am too, and I'm super curious to know what these PPs do. Are they all sales jobs? I am currently looking for PT telework jobs and I don't even know where to start! I spent almost ten years in USG and I'm feeling like I'll never find an employer that will hire me to work PT from home. (my current USG boss is letting me do it, but only temporarily until I find something else)

I am the 150+ telecommuting job. It is engineering consulting and the job wasn't supposed to be telecommuting. They pursued me, the commute was too far and it was part of the negotiation. I am still expected to travel and perform.
I rarely see jobs advertised as telecommuting. My advice is to find a place that wants you and then negotiate it....then don't screw it up by slacking or having kids running around in the background.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, I got my dream job 200K with flexible hours. I work in an industry (sales) where long hours aren't required to make money.

can you tell me about this? I'm great at sales (consultative) but have done so in areas where yo don't make a lot (non-profit, community service industry)

[Anonymous]

I did, but no regrets even after trying to find a job for over a year with no luck. I've always had an entrepreneurial spirit so my inability to get a full-time job was a perfect catalyst. My business is growing and profitable, and I am available for my kids at least 75% of when I was SAHM.