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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm 41 and have 3 kids.
I took 5.5 years off when they were young.  I went back to work when the youngest was 3 and I've now been back for 3 years.  
I was thrilled to get the job I did and I work telecommute 100%, working 9 to 3pm for $95K. 
I do pick up and drop off daily (all 3 are in elementary school) and I'm able to attend school events, etc. within reason. 
I now have 2 kids in travel sports so our life is a complex patchwork of carpools and the like. 
My husband works a "big" job---lots of stress, hours, some travel and he makes 3 times what I do.

That all said, I ran into a coworker today (I was in the office for the day) and she just got another promotion.   I bet she now makes twice what I do (educated guess only). 
She has my EXACT education and 10 years ago we were in the same spot professionally (albeit at different companies at that point).  In the intervening years she never took time off (aside from 4 maternity leaves) and she 
also has been jumping at new opportunities in our company.  She has 4 kids but a husband who works part time as a realtor.  I don't know the exact specifics but I get the feeling that she's the 
breadwinner.

All that to say, that for the first time in years I'm wondering if I did the right thing "mommy tracking" myself.  In many ways i have ideal set up.  However, I wonder what would happen if I ever got divorced (I don't see this happening but I'm definitely of the opinion that you can never be to sure).  I save $22K/year into my 401k and i don't worry about my retirement security should a divorce occur but I do wonder about my ability to support myself in the intervening years.  Or I guess more than that I just feel that even though I'm working I've set myself up to be dependent upon my husband for the rest of my life by not going full gusto after my career.  
Also, while my job is satisfying and intellectually stimulating by the nature of it's content, I'm pretty good at it by now.  In many ways I've mastered it.   I've been doing the SAME thing for 3 years.  I was rusty when I started (I had been out for 5.5 years and even the routine of working felt new) but now it's hold hat.

Can anyone relate?  Thoughts?  I'm not sure what the point of my post is.  I guess I just wonder if I made the right decision. [/quote] OMG, I could have written this post except I make about $60K working 20 hours a week and I never took time to SAH. I struggle ALL THE TIME with not going back to FT work, but my DH also works a big job with travel. But I actually envy him with his promotions and success. I try not to let it get to me, but sometimes the travel and dinners out are so much more sexy than carpools and mac and cheese with the kids...again... And again...and again.

I talk to my therapist about this and I am at the point where I may quit altogether (mostly because I am unhappy with my employer) but I cannot fathom what it would mean to not work.  Also worry about losing my foothold in my career. And then I saw a virtual FT position come open today that would be perfect for me. Gah. I just don't know what to do. I worry that I will find something else, or quit, and the grass won't be greener on the other side.

I also worry about financial security. Less from the standpoint of divorce (though I suppose it could happen) but more from my DH having a chronic condition that could put him out of work at anytime (and yes, he often suggests I quit), and my desire for financial security for me and the kids.

I don't have any wise words. I am muddling through. You may be too. But I do think we could find a good job if we needed to. And that gets me through. Nothing is permanent.[/quote]

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