Need to Vent Family Critical Of Reproductive Choices.
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Anonymous
| I am also slightly jealous of women who have large families. I always wanted to have four, but I could only mange one. I think a lot of people are probably wondering how you manage because they couldn't do it themselves. I think it's impressive. It's no easy task to raise that many. One of my older sisters has four, but she married into lots of money and none of her kids were shipped off to boarding schools. She has a very close-knit immediate family. |
Anonymous
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How much help do you expect your family to give you?
How often are you expecting your family to spend time with your kids? Maybe they feel they and/or their resources are going to be stretched. Maybe they worry about how you are going to support yourselves in retirement. Maybe they worry about needing to support you and your family if someone loses a job. |
Anonymous
This. OP, you might be the exception. But the moms I know with lots of kids say they love having a big family, and claim self sufficiency, just like you. But being around them and their young brood is exhausting. The parents don't watch their kids all the time, they don't correct bad behavior, and they seem overwhelmed. We have a pool, and one friend with 5 kids would bring them over (invited), but allow the 3 year old to run around the pool unsupervised, saying "she's fine, Sophie is out there with her." Sophie, the 8 year old...expected to supervise the 3 year old in a pool. Or she'd expect the 14 year old to police the younger kids' behavior. Didn't work. All of which is just exhausting for the rest of us. This is one example, you may be the exception. But surely you can see how it's shocking when you tell someone what you plan to take on. At the very best, It's not so different fom somebody saying "I'm going back to school," when they work full time, have 2 young kids, and are also remodeling a house. You would have a ferry hard time saying "congrats " with no other comment. |
Anonymous
My 4 children were born between June 2006-Sept 2012. We're UMC, highly educated at well respected schools, and all of my children were exclusively breast fed for a year. I'm so sorry I don't fit your stereotype. 
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Anonymous
It is too much. Signed, A Mom of Four Children That Are Reasonably Spaced Out |
Anonymous
| I think the fact that you describe your children as "reproductive choices" is telling. It's not just about producing babies. It's about taking care of the resulting children. |
Anonymous
Whic OP has repeatedly stated that she and her husband happily take care of on their own with out help from family and that these kids were wanted, but you and your ilk would rather shame a woman for not conforming to the standard to children , or 3 if the first 2 were the same sex. So much for freedom of choice. |
Anonymous
| This isn't about "freedom of choice." I'm assuming that this woman isn't getting the "ok" from family because she's a hot mess. This poster is clearly a troll, trying to stir it up, and for good reason. There are a LOT of families out there that are a big hot mess - out of control kids, debt out the yahoo, no decent place to send their kid to school, marital troubles - and yet they continue to have children. Your family doesn't congratulate you because you probably fall into one of these categories. They are worried about you and worried about your kids. I feel exactly this way about my brother in law's family. They are a giant hot mess and expecting, as if a baby will solve all of their problems. Why?! Take a look in the mirror before you start "venting". |
Anonymous
OP has said nothing outrageous or trollish. It's you and others with your projections and judgmental attitudes that have turned this vent thread int a hot mess. You should take your own advice about looking in the mirror. |
Anonymous
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I know a woman in exactly this situation and I wonder if you're her. The reason you're getting the reaction you are is because it's rough on the body and you overalll. Even when the children are reasonably spaced apart, multiple pregnancies are rough on the body. So your relatives are probably concerned about you and the effects of this approach to childbearing.
That said, I don't think it's appropriate to say anything other than congratulations. Sure, what you're doing is risky - mostly for you - but it's what you want, you're able to raise the children you already have, so I do my best to be happy for you. I'm more polite than your relatives, but it doesn't mean I don't worry about you. You could bleed out, loose your uterus at a young age - worse. It's not just about exercise your "right"to procreate as quickly as you can. |
Anonymous
I am one of six. Five of us were spaced between 18 months and 2 years apart. We are exceptionally close and most people who know our family are exceptionally jealous of the relationships we have together, particularly the people who are only children or one of two siblings. The women on this thread bring shrewishness to a new level. |
Anonymous
There are also people like you who have an exceptionally vile character and perhaps should not have any children to avoid passing on the meaness. Hot messes come in all shapes and forms. |
Anonymous
It truly is over the top as OP said nothing to warrant the nastiness. She didn't say anything about trying to have as many as she could. She didn't ay anything negative about people who choose to have smaller families. She was only upset her family was less than supportive. And all these women come storming with their judgments. OP must be poor or uneducated. OP must have out of control kids and on and on. I'm reading this thinking WTH? |
Anonymous
You're so full of it LOL |
Anonymous
That's very presumptuous. Some of us could be elitist, judgmental bastards. |