How are you not overwhelmed with fear?

[Anonymous]

OP, I hear your fear and share your concerns about our gun culture in America. But I think your paralyzing anxiety is something you should talk to a professional about. Gun violence, kidnappings, molestations, etc do happen, but statistically they are rare-- or rather, the chances your child will be harmed are relatively rare if you take reasonable precautions, like asking if there are guns in the house before accepting a playdate, etc. There is some percentage where we cant do anything as these things are random, but we should use our concern to drive changes like sensible gun laws. Look up Every Town for Gun Safety and add your voice to the growing chorus. I will say, I agree that red states have a troubling gun (and redneck) culture, but I live in DC, and heard my daughter who was then in preschool discuss guns with a friend. That friend claimed there was a gun under the kitchen sink at her house because an older brother's friend had brought it. The mom at least cleared the house and called the police. That houshold has a single mom and several children by several dads. Poor parenting abounds--it is not just limited to red states.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I hear your fear and share your concerns about our gun culture in America. But I think your paralyzing anxiety is something you should talk to a professional about. Gun violence, kidnappings, molestations, etc do happen, but statistically they are rare-- or rather, the chances your child will be harmed are relatively rare if you take reasonable precautions, like asking if there are guns in the house before accepting a playdate, etc. There is some percentage where we cant do anything as these things are random, but we should use our concern to drive changes like sensible gun laws. Look up Every Town for Gun Safety and add your voice to the growing chorus. I will say, I agree that red states have a troubling gun (and redneck) culture, but I live in DC, and heard my daughter who was then in preschool discuss guns with a friend. That friend claimed there was a gun under the kitchen sink at her house because an older brother's friend had brought it. The mom at least cleared the house and called the police. That houshold has a single mom and several children by several dads. Poor parenting abounds--it is not just limited to red states.

Owning a gun is poor parenting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wanna talk statistics? Really? 110,000 people shot every year.

That's a national crisis.

But, sure, those of us looking at those numbers are just worrywarts.

I try not to worry on a daily basis, but FFS, we HAVE to fix this shit!

That number is so inflated.

You probably front face your 1 year old, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I hear your fear and share your concerns about our gun culture in America. But I think your paralyzing anxiety is something you should talk to a professional about. Gun violence, kidnappings, molestations, etc do happen, but statistically they are rare-- or rather, the chances your child will be harmed are relatively rare if you take reasonable precautions, like asking if there are guns in the house before accepting a playdate, etc. There is some percentage where we cant do anything as these things are random, but we should use our concern to drive changes like sensible gun laws. Look up Every Town for Gun Safety and add your voice to the growing chorus. I will say, I agree that red states have a troubling gun (and redneck) culture, but I live in DC, and heard my daughter who was then in preschool discuss guns with a friend. That friend claimed there was a gun under the kitchen sink at her house because an older brother's friend had brought it. The mom at least cleared the house and called the police. That houshold has a single mom and several children by several dads. Poor parenting abounds--it is not just limited to red states.

Owning a gun is poor parenting?

Not that poster but yes owning a gun is poor parenting because it triples the risk of exposure to suicide or murder. Believe Fox News? Look what they say:

http://www.foxnews.com/health/2014/01/21/gun-ownership-tied-to-three-fold-increase-in-suicide-risk/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a number of fears about mass shootings and the like. I don't know why people are ripping you up here, OP.

I moved from DC (my last year there: many muggings at the 24-hour market in my neighborhood, a killing behind my building, etc...charming) to Oregon recently. My child and I skipped an indoor public event today because I was afraid w/the UCC shooting happening so recently. There was a mass shooting here at a suburban mall a few years back; turns out that the shooter worked around the corner from our current home, which is about 10 miles from the mall.

You never know who it will be or where it will happen; it makes life hard, but -- just like living in DC or New York or Smalltown, USA or anywhere in the world -- you have to manage your fears in the ways that work for you. Skipping an event today was good in that I was not afraid, irritable, and jumpy all day. Will we stay away from public places indefinitely? Absolutely not. We were out and about town by this afternoon, fears forgotten. Will the fears resurface? Yep, absolutely. After 15 years in DC, I would have thought I was less susceptible to giving in to my fears ... but since having a child, I'm not.

My child is not yet in school of any kind. Once that happens...I don't know. It's hard to imagine how I'll go about managing fears at that point.

It sounds like you'll be fine because your outlook is realistic.

[Anonymous]

You should be .more overwhelmed with fear every time you drive your car as the likelihood of being killed in an automobile accident is far more likely than being killed in a mass killing.

You need serious help as living in such unreasonable fear will have a serious negative effect on your children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I hear your fear and share your concerns about our gun culture in America. But I think your paralyzing anxiety is something you should talk to a professional about. Gun violence, kidnappings, molestations, etc do happen, but statistically they are rare-- or rather, the chances your child will be harmed are relatively rare if you take reasonable precautions, like asking if there are guns in the house before accepting a playdate, etc. There is some percentage where we cant do anything as these things are random, but we should use our concern to drive changes like sensible gun laws. Look up Every Town for Gun Safety and add your voice to the growing chorus. I will say, I agree that red states have a troubling gun (and redneck) culture, but I live in DC, and heard my daughter who was then in preschool discuss guns with a friend. That friend claimed there was a gun under the kitchen sink at her house because an older brother's friend had brought it. The mom at least cleared the house and called the police. That houshold has a single mom and several children by several dads. Poor parenting abounds--it is not just limited to red states.

Owning a gun is poor parenting?

Yes.

Just like having an ungated, uncovered swimming pool or a vicious dog.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should be .more overwhelmed with fear every time you drive your car as the likelihood of being killed in an automobile accident is far more likely than being killed in a mass killing.

You need serious help as living in such unreasonable fear will have a serious negative effect on your children.

New poster here. OP yiu have an anxiety issue. Understandable but it's your fear that's greater than any real risk. Yiu can make sure your kids schools have safety measures and drills in place like any responsible school. But honestly a little therapy might help. Some worry is healthy and helpful. Excessive worry is painful and crippling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I hear your fear and share your concerns about our gun culture in America. But I think your paralyzing anxiety is something you should talk to a professional about. Gun violence, kidnappings, molestations, etc do happen, but statistically they are rare-- or rather, the chances your child will be harmed are relatively rare if you take reasonable precautions, like asking if there are guns in the house before accepting a playdate, etc. There is some percentage where we cant do anything as these things are random, but we should use our concern to drive changes like sensible gun laws. Look up Every Town for Gun Safety and add your voice to the growing chorus. I will say, I agree that red states have a troubling gun (and redneck) culture, but I live in DC, and heard my daughter who was then in preschool discuss guns with a friend. That friend claimed there was a gun under the kitchen sink at her house because an older brother's friend had brought it. The mom at least cleared the house and called the police. That houshold has a single mom and several children by several dads. Poor parenting abounds--it is not just limited to red states.

Owning a gun is poor parenting?

Not that poster but yes owning a gun is poor parenting because it triples the risk of exposure to suicide or murder. Believe Fox News? Look what they say:

http://www.foxnews.com/health/2014/01/21/gun-ownership-tied-to-three-fold-increase-in-suicide-risk/

Wait, because I don't think guns are evil, I must watch Fox News? Um, ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It helps me to protect my mind and spirit from the constant media coverage. Yes I know what's going on in the world. But with all the things i can't control (which is almost everything except myself) I get the basic news and move on.
You're feeding your own fear. Know what triggers you and unplug.

+1 I do this too by seriously avoiding triggers (and OP - I feel the same as you do at times with this overwhelming fear and anxiety). And one thing I learned (through therapy due to post partum anxiety/depression) was to essentially 'basket' some of these fears if I think they are going to go down the rabbit hole of becoming overwhelming. Good luck to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I hear your fear and share your concerns about our gun culture in America. But I think your paralyzing anxiety is something you should talk to a professional about. Gun violence, kidnappings, molestations, etc do happen, but statistically they are rare-- or rather, the chances your child will be harmed are relatively rare if you take reasonable precautions, like asking if there are guns in the house before accepting a playdate, etc. There is some percentage where we cant do anything as these things are random, but we should use our concern to drive changes like sensible gun laws. Look up Every Town for Gun Safety and add your voice to the growing chorus. I will say, I agree that red states have a troubling gun (and redneck) culture, but I live in DC, and heard my daughter who was then in preschool discuss guns with a friend. That friend claimed there was a gun under the kitchen sink at her house because an older brother's friend had brought it. The mom at least cleared the house and called the police. That houshold has a single mom and several children by several dads. Poor parenting abounds--it is not just limited to red states.

Owning a gun is poor parenting?

Owning a gun that you keep under the kitchen sink is surely poor parenting. If you have kids in the house and your guns are anywhere but in a locked safe, you are demonstrating poor parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wanna talk statistics? Really? 110,000 people shot every year.

That's a national crisis.

But, sure, those of us looking at those numbers are just worrywarts.

I try not to worry on a daily basis, but FFS, we HAVE to fix this shit!

That number is so inflated.

You probably front face your 1 year old, too.

I don't have any idea what one has to do with the other.

That number is people shot yearly.

12,000 is the actual death toll from those gun shots.

My current 1 year old will remain RF until at least 2, which I don't understand the relevance at all, but sure, I'll play ;p my almost 10 year old FF at just after a year because that was the guidance at the time. I waited until she was 1 and 20 lbs. and I kept her RF a little longer in one car.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wanna talk statistics? Really? 110,000 people shot every year.

That's a national crisis.

But, sure, those of us looking at those numbers are just worrywarts.

I try not to worry on a daily basis, but FFS, we HAVE to fix this shit!

That number is so inflated.

You probably front face your 1 year old, too.

I don't have any idea what one has to do with the other.

That number is people shot yearly.

12,000 is the actual death toll from those gun shots.

My current 1 year old will remain RF until at least 2, which I don't understand the relevance at all, but sure, I'll play ;p my almost 10 year old FF at just after a year because that was the guidance at the time. I waited until she was 1 and 20 lbs. and I kept her RF a little longer in one car.

You can't connect two risky behaviors? That'as very strange.

[Anonymous]

Speaking of poor parenting, I can't believe we are talking about charging an 11 year old as an adult for shooting and killing his neighbor, yet no mention of criminal charges against his parents.

We need to go after the morons who aren't properly storing their weapons. If more of these idiots got charged rather than calling it a "tragic accident", maybe some of this nonsense would end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wanna talk statistics? Really? 110,000 people shot every year.

That's a national crisis.

But, sure, those of us looking at those numbers are just worrywarts.

I try not to worry on a daily basis, but FFS, we HAVE to fix this shit!

That number is so inflated.

You probably front face your 1 year old, too.

I don't have any idea what one has to do with the other.

That number is people shot yearly.

12,000 is the actual death toll from those gun shots.

My current 1 year old will remain RF until at least 2, which I don't understand the relevance at all, but sure, I'll play ;p my almost 10 year old FF at just after a year because that was the guidance at the time. I waited until she was 1 and 20 lbs. and I kept her RF a little longer in one car.

You can't connect two risky behaviors? That'as very strange.

Stating a fact is a risky behavior?