How are you not overwhelmed with fear?
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Anonymous
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My daughters are 5 and 3. We live in a "Red" southern state now (though DC orig).
In Dec 2012, after the Sandyhook shooting, my kids were very young - a toddler and young infant - and not in school. I was working only part time and they were cared for by loving grandparents the rest of the time. The tragedy affected me, but I was not paralyzed with fear. Now my kids are in daycare/kindergarten and I'm obsessively watching/reading about Oregon. I dropped my kids off at school today and then sat in the parking lot waiting for 15 minutes, because I noticed a guy in a car sitting across from the school that I didn't recognize. I didn't leave for work until I saw that car move. Now I'm rethinking where to send our kids next year - public? private? homeschool? move to Canada? Seriously losing it here. Anyone else just feel like you have zero control over this? |
Anonymous
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It's hard because we DO have zero control. But I think about it this way-- things that happen all the time, every day, don't get news coverage. Mass shootings do get attention because comparatively, they're still rare. The odds of it happening to you, at your school, are very, very, very low. So, don't stress about it any more than you stress about a tree falling on the house or a car running into the building. Bad things happen, but you just have to go about your life.
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Anonymous
| I'm sorry you have to live in a red state. Honestly, for a host of reasons, including fear of gun crazed right wingers, I could never live in a red state. |
Anonymous
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Honestly, I keep reminding myself of the actual statistics. Our lives now are actually safer than they have been for most of history. Car accidents, violence, drownings, accidents in the home, death from illness etc. All of these are at record lows.
Additionally, there is immense safety in numbers. There are about 100,000 elementary schools in the US. What are the chances that a shooter would pick yours? |
Anonymous
Get over yourself. This is ridiculous |
Anonymous
Yeah... didn't the Sandy Hook shootings occur in a blue state? This is a weird post. OP, if you are really this fearful about living your life you should probably get therapy. And take a statistics course. |
Anonymous
LOL. The tolerant left. |
Anonymous
| OP poster here. It's true I live in a red state, and so I'm pretty careful to ask all the right questions before sending my older girl for a playdate (it's not uncommon in our town to keep a gun, so I always ask, and don't allow my kids to play in anyone's home where there is a gun). But I'm not sure I'd feel *that* much safer back in MoCo. Conn and OR are both pretty liberal states and look what happened there... |
Anonymous
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I wouldn't stress due to blue/red state. Washington, Connecticut, California are all blue states and have had mass shootings in recent years. Colorado is so-called purple, as is Virginia. I wouldn't feel more safe because I live in Maryland as opposed to Virginia.
But, I hear you. I posted something similar a year after Sandy Hook. I still sometimes have these moments of fear that take my breath away at the thought of something horrible happening to DD at school. Some on DCUM were kind, others were rough in telling me to get therapy since I'm apparently unhinged. Don't know what to tell you since I still struggle. One person told me that I have a grip if I'm not acting on what I know are irrational fears. |
Anonymous
| I am more worried about molesters than a mass shooting. But paralyzed with fear? You are going to have a hard road to college with that approach. |
Anonymous
| It's shocking when something like this happens, because it's so sudden and unexpected, and we feel like we have no control over it. It helps to put the actual risk in perspective, though. For instance, your child is 10x more likely in any given year to be killed in a car accident than in some kind of shooting event (and the odds of death by shooting are even lower if you don't have a gun in your house). The relative odds are about the same that your child will be diagnosed with cancer in any given year than they they'll be killed in a shooting event. These events are terrible and they touch us deeply and we should put effort into figuring out how to minimize the odds, but the actual risk that your child will be a victim is incredibly small. |
Anonymous
But, dunce, these shootings happened in the bluest of blue states. |
Anonymous
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It helps me to protect my mind and spirit from the constant media coverage. Yes I know what's going on in the world. But with all the things i can't control (which is almost everything except myself) I get the basic news and move on.
You're feeding your own fear. Know what triggers you and unplug. |
Anonymous
I live in one and saw someone open carrying the other day. Did I think it was trashy? Yes. Did I fear for my life? No. Are you seriously this....I can't even find the words. |
Anonymous
LOL, yes. |