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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Saw friend's husband out with another woman"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This has happened to me multiple times. What I do, is the next time I see the wife (and sometime in front of the husband) I say. "Oh, I saw George at Hunan Palace in Fairfax, I love that place do you guys go there often?" Then I let them deal with it. Twice it was an affair. One divorced the other didn't. If I hear about an affair I don't say anything, If you are stupid enough for me to see it... I say something.[/quote] Nice shit stirring. [/quote] If you don't want your shit stirred... don't shit in my presence. Also... stop passing STDs to everybody. [/quote] Um, first of all, you're crazy. Second of all, you don't own the metro DC area, so what someone does in a public restaurant on their own time is seriously none of your business. If you came up to me and told me you'd seen my husband at Szechuan Palace as if you were divulging some very catastrophic information, I would say "Yes, he took a colleague who was in town for work and staying out that way there for dinner" and then stare your nosy ass down daring you to say more. [/quote] Really... I say to friends all the time... hey I saw Joe and the boys at the Nats game, what a beautiful night (and now you are staring me down wondering why I stalk your family... you are psycho!)... why is it weird for me to say... I saw Joe at Szechuan Palace, love that place... that is nosy? No its just a statement of fact. Do you have friends? You never say... hey saw you at Wolf Trap, did you have fun... we were in a hurry and could not stop to chat. You are crazy if you don't have these normal conversations with your friends. I am not outing anybody I am just making conversation. If you are guilty of something own it ... stop blaming others. [/quote] You are 100% backtracking and you know it. Your original comment was "If I see George out with someone, I later tell George's wife in front of George and let them deal with it." You are not idly chatting with someone about how they enjoyed the show at Wolf Trap. Talk about owning it... I don't have anything to hide, from my husband or anyone. YOU need to own the fact you admitted you enjoy delivering potentially upsetting information to women, in front of their spouse, so you can have the pleasure of being Hall Monitor for other people's behavior and marriages. [/quote] NP. You're so right - best to let women be bamboozled while their husband fucks around.[/quote] I believe most women are capable of finding out themselves. Maybe this is a personality trait where I don't enjoy others seeing me in weakness/pain/suffering, but if I get the feeling my husband is cheating, I am perfectly capable of getting to the bottom of it myself. No I do not want some fellow preschool parent taking it upon themselves to tell me. Handling my own shit is more important to me than the fact some busy-body pities me because she thinks she saw my husband having an affair.[/quote] It's very difficult to get to the bottom of something you're not supposed to know.[/quote] Agree to disagree. Most people aren't James Bond operating covertly and expertly. I have full trust in my husband and don't feel the need to monitor his activity or verify what he tells me. But if my intuition were going off and I felt something was off, I could easily check bank and credit card statements for weird charges, log in to our cell phone account and see who he is calling and texting, how often and when, etc. Now if you've put yourself in the position where you don't HAVE access to vital information like that, that's on you, but for most people, it would be shockingly easy to catch an affair if you thought it was happening and knew what to look for. [/quote] Not really... smart cheaters are not stupid enough to use their personal phone and credit card for an affair... work phone and expense account, yes. Cheaters gaslight all the time... you really don't have any experience with this. Often it happens during tragedy... the H gets cancer, family member dies and you just think the changes in your partner are because of the changes in their life. If you believe that you have 100% intuition about your partner you are naive. [/quote]
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