Why is being fat okay but being thin isnt?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've noticed a double standard where being overweight is called normal or "healthy" or "womanly" and being thin is considered disordered, sickly, frail, gross, etc. Women are way bigger on average than at any time in our past. I guess it's normalized now?

I'm fat and have never felt "normal" or "healthy" or "womanly" because of it. While being overweight might be technically "normal" these days, when it comes to the media and who we see on a daily basis, the people we want to be like, they're not overweight. Stop acting like you're being oppressed because you're underweight. Eat a fucking piece of bread and get on with your life. (if you have a medical issue that doesn't allow you to gainweight, this message does not apply to you. However, if that's the case, I highly doubt you'd stoop to this level)

I honestly think you're probably a really lame person. Sorry if you're not.

[Anonymous]

Bottom line: insecure people - fat, thin, whatever - are never content to "live and let live." The rest of us are just obsessing over ourselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People (women) definitely thin shame other women very openly.

I've always been on the thin side -- barely holding on to an 18 BMI -- and due to some stresses in the last few yrs, I lost even more weight. It was not planned or intentional; I did not/do not have an eating disorder; and I am slowing gaining it back.

Yet certain women see nothing wrong with commenting openly -- EVEN when they know life has been rough, they don't think that maybe my general unhappiness has had an effect on my physical health. I went out to drinks w 2 friends last week. At drinks they ended up ordering appetizers; I ate some but not much, and in the span of like 90 minutes they made at least 5-6 comments about "oh you don't eat," "you need to eat more." It was awkward -- bc if I COULD eat more, I would but I also don't feel like I have to discuss health specifics with friends.

If the situation was reversed, they wouldn't have said "oh you really wolfed down those apps."

You're assuming the fat person would have wolfed down their food. My 22 year old had a BMI of 21 and she out eats me at every single meal (4 slices of pizza when I have 2, 2 cups of ice cream when I have a 1/2 cup). She always has 2 apps when when we go out plus an entree. I'm the one with the glacially slow metabolism that people can't believe eats only 1200 calories.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People (women) definitely thin shame other women very openly.

I've always been on the thin side -- barely holding on to an 18 BMI -- and due to some stresses in the last few yrs, I lost even more weight. It was not planned or intentional; I did not/do not have an eating disorder; and I am slowing gaining it back.

Yet certain women see nothing wrong with commenting openly -- EVEN when they know life has been rough, they don't think that maybe my general unhappiness has had an effect on my physical health. I went out to drinks w 2 friends last week. At drinks they ended up ordering appetizers; I ate some but not much, and in the span of like 90 minutes they made at least 5-6 comments about "oh you don't eat," "you need to eat more." It was awkward -- bc if I COULD eat more, I would but I also don't feel like I have to discuss health specifics with friends.

If the situation was reversed, they wouldn't have said "oh you really wolfed down those apps."

You're assuming the fat person would have wolfed down their food. My 22 year old had a BMI of 21 and she out eats me at every single meal (4 slices of pizza when I have 2, 2 cups of ice cream when I have a 1/2 cup). She always has 2 apps when when we go out plus an entree. I'm the one with the glacially slow metabolism that people can't believe eats only 1200 calories.

Hmm! She is 22 years old which explains the difference in metabolism

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People (women) definitely thin shame other women very openly.

I've always been on the thin side -- barely holding on to an 18 BMI -- and due to some stresses in the last few yrs, I lost even more weight. It was not planned or intentional; I did not/do not have an eating disorder; and I am slowing gaining it back.

Yet certain women see nothing wrong with commenting openly -- EVEN when they know life has been rough, they don't think that maybe my general unhappiness has had an effect on my physical health. I went out to drinks w 2 friends last week. At drinks they ended up ordering appetizers; I ate some but not much, and in the span of like 90 minutes they made at least 5-6 comments about "oh you don't eat," "you need to eat more." It was awkward -- bc if I COULD eat more, I would but I also don't feel like I have to discuss health specifics with friends.

If the situation was reversed, they wouldn't have said "oh you really wolfed down those apps."

I'm in a similar situation. I never thought much about how when people comment on my thinness, it's that their commenting on my mental health (I too have had a rough last few years). I even went to the doctor to make sure my hormones and such were ok since I've had such a hard time gaining weight. I try to not be self conscious about it, but I don't always succeed.

At least all of this has really helped me realize that you should never comment on anyone's weight, their pregnancy body, etc. You can compliment them on a variety of other things or just say nothing at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To all the PPs discounting OP's experience, what about statements like "real women have curves"?

You can be thin and have curves.

A breast has some amount of curvature unless you're literally emaciated and sinking inward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thin used to be the norm. Now overweight is the norm.

This, so since most people are fat, they think it's normal and bash the people who aren't like them.

Do you complain about how hard it is, being white and all, since black people are given everything for free and racism is over?

This. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People (women) definitely thin shame other women very openly.

I've always been on the thin side -- barely holding on to an 18 BMI -- and due to some stresses in the last few yrs, I lost even more weight. It was not planned or intentional; I did not/do not have an eating disorder; and I am slowing gaining it back.

Yet certain women see nothing wrong with commenting openly -- EVEN when they know life has been rough, they don't think that maybe my general unhappiness has had an effect on my physical health. I went out to drinks w 2 friends last week. At drinks they ended up ordering appetizers; I ate some but not much, and in the span of like 90 minutes they made at least 5-6 comments about "oh you don't eat," "you need to eat more." It was awkward -- bc if I COULD eat more, I would but I also don't feel like I have to discuss health specifics with friends.

If the situation was reversed, they wouldn't have said "oh you really wolfed down those apps."

You're assuming the fat person would have wolfed down their food. My 22 year old had a BMI of 21 and she out eats me at every single meal (4 slices of pizza when I have 2, 2 cups of ice cream when I have a 1/2 cup). She always has 2 apps when when we go out plus an entree. I'm the one with the glacially slow metabolism that people can't believe eats only 1200 calories.

I have no idea what your point is -- I'm just saying that people don't feel ok saying to an overweight person "wow you really finished off those appetizers, how do you eat so much," whereas saying to an underweight person "you don't eat -- I don't understand it" is much more common and people think it's perfectly ok. In either case you are pointing out a body function/body flaw that the person may or may not be comfortable discussing.

[Anonymous]

No, we are buying into the ridiculous idea that weight is solely about caloric consumption. Thin people seem to think being thin is just "who they are" while fat people are food addicts. In fact, weight is more complex than that.

If you thin people have to suffer through a few derogatory comments about how much of the hot crab dip you ate, I'm ok with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People (women) definitely thin shame other women very openly.

I've always been on the thin side -- barely holding on to an 18 BMI -- and due to some stresses in the last few yrs, I lost even more weight. It was not planned or intentional; I did not/do not have an eating disorder; and I am slowing gaining it back.

Yet certain women see nothing wrong with commenting openly -- EVEN when they know life has been rough, they don't think that maybe my general unhappiness has had an effect on my physical health. I went out to drinks w 2 friends last week. At drinks they ended up ordering appetizers; I ate some but not much, and in the span of like 90 minutes they made at least 5-6 comments about "oh you don't eat," "you need to eat more." It was awkward -- bc if I COULD eat more, I would but I also don't feel like I have to discuss health specifics with friends.

If the situation was reversed, they wouldn't have said "oh you really wolfed down those apps."

You're assuming the fat person would have wolfed down their food. My 22 year old had a BMI of 21 and she out eats me at every single meal (4 slices of pizza when I have 2, 2 cups of ice cream when I have a 1/2 cup). She always has 2 apps when when we go out plus an entree. I'm the one with the glacially slow metabolism that people can't believe eats only 1200 calories.

Hmm! She is 22 years old which explains the difference in metabolism

a 21 bmi is fat. She needs to stop eating her feelings with the appetizers and desserts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People (women) definitely thin shame other women very openly.

I've always been on the thin side -- barely holding on to an 18 BMI -- and due to some stresses in the last few yrs, I lost even more weight. It was not planned or intentional; I did not/do not have an eating disorder; and I am slowing gaining it back.

Yet certain women see nothing wrong with commenting openly -- EVEN when they know life has been rough, they don't think that maybe my general unhappiness has had an effect on my physical health. I went out to drinks w 2 friends last week. At drinks they ended up ordering appetizers; I ate some but not much, and in the span of like 90 minutes they made at least 5-6 comments about "oh you don't eat," "you need to eat more." It was awkward -- bc if I COULD eat more, I would but I also don't feel like I have to discuss health specifics with friends.

If the situation was reversed, they wouldn't have said "oh you really wolfed down those apps."

You're assuming the fat person would have wolfed down their food. My 22 year old had a BMI of 21 and she out eats me at every single meal (4 slices of pizza when I have 2, 2 cups of ice cream when I have a 1/2 cup). She always has 2 apps when when we go out plus an entree. I'm the one with the glacially slow metabolism that people can't believe eats only 1200 calories.

Hmm! She is 22 years old which explains the difference in metabolism

a 21 bmi is fat. She needs to stop eating her feelings with the appetizers and desserts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, we are buying into the ridiculous idea that weight is solely about caloric consumption. Thin people seem to think being thin is just "who they are" while fat people are food addicts. In fact, weight is more complex than that.

If you thin people have to suffer through a few derogatory comments about how much of the hot crab dip you ate, I'm ok with that.

Yet if I said you had a wide ass, you'd be ok with punching me in the face. So how about thin people don't comment on fat peoples' eating habits and fat don't comment on thin? Bc unless you're in either group, you don't get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, we are buying into the ridiculous idea that weight is solely about caloric consumption. Thin people seem to think being thin is just "who they are" while fat people are food addicts. In fact, weight is more complex than that.

If you thin people have to suffer through a few derogatory comments about how much of the hot crab dip you ate, I'm ok with that.

Exactly! I was thin my entire life until I hit 40. Always figured I was just "naturally thin." Then came hormonal changes and life stress, and boom, I gained 20 pounds, with no change in diet or exercise. Until it happened to me, I was one of those people who thought overweight people just ate too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People (women) definitely thin shame other women very openly.

I've always been on the thin side -- barely holding on to an 18 BMI -- and due to some stresses in the last few yrs, I lost even more weight. It was not planned or intentional; I did not/do not have an eating disorder; and I am slowing gaining it back.

Yet certain women see nothing wrong with commenting openly -- EVEN when they know life has been rough, they don't think that maybe my general unhappiness has had an effect on my physical health. I went out to drinks w 2 friends last week. At drinks they ended up ordering appetizers; I ate some but not much, and in the span of like 90 minutes they made at least 5-6 comments about "oh you don't eat," "you need to eat more." It was awkward -- bc if I COULD eat more, I would but I also don't feel like I have to discuss health specifics with friends.

If the situation was reversed, they wouldn't have said "oh you really wolfed down those apps."

You're assuming the fat person would have wolfed down their food. My 22 year old had a BMI of 21 and she out eats me at every single meal (4 slices of pizza when I have 2, 2 cups of ice cream when I have a 1/2 cup). She always has 2 apps when when we go out plus an entree. I'm the one with the glacially slow metabolism that people can't believe eats only 1200 calories.

Hmm! She is 22 years old which explains the difference in metabolism

a 21 bmi is fat. She needs to stop eating her feelings with the appetizers and desserts.

Are you the same person who won't settle for anything over a 20?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People (women) definitely thin shame other women very openly.

I've always been on the thin side -- barely holding on to an 18 BMI -- and due to some stresses in the last few yrs, I lost even more weight. It was not planned or intentional; I did not/do not have an eating disorder; and I am slowing gaining it back.

Yet certain women see nothing wrong with commenting openly -- EVEN when they know life has been rough, they don't think that maybe my general unhappiness has had an effect on my physical health. I went out to drinks w 2 friends last week. At drinks they ended up ordering appetizers; I ate some but not much, and in the span of like 90 minutes they made at least 5-6 comments about "oh you don't eat," "you need to eat more." It was awkward -- bc if I COULD eat more, I would but I also don't feel like I have to discuss health specifics with friends.

If the situation was reversed, they wouldn't have said "oh you really wolfed down those apps."

You're assuming the fat person would have wolfed down their food. My 22 year old had a BMI of 21 and she out eats me at every single meal (4 slices of pizza when I have 2, 2 cups of ice cream when I have a 1/2 cup). She always has 2 apps when when we go out plus an entree. I'm the one with the glacially slow metabolism that people can't believe eats only 1200 calories.

Hmm! She is 22 years old which explains the difference in metabolism

a 21 bmi is fat. She needs to stop eating her feelings with the appetizers and desserts.

21 BMI is not fat. But for a 22-year-old, it's not particularly thin. And if she doesn't learn how to make better eating choices, it won't be long before she's fat, especially given that her genetics don't sound promising.