My a**hole cousin announced my uncle's death on FB before his daughter knew

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My aunt called the husband because she wanted her daughter to have someone with her when she found out.
The reason he didn't immediately call is because he didn't want her to be alone when she found out, but also because it was the middle of the night there. He assumed she'd be asleep all night and wouldn't be online.
To be honest, nobody really thought that it would be announced on Facebook. They just didn't want her finding out at 2am while she is alone in a foreign country.
She has basically been ostracised.
She is the type of person to post things like "I can't tell you what is going on, but I need you to pray for me."
She's always looking for attention.

To clarify-my a**hole cousin has been ostracised.

What a lovely family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see nothing wrong with it. How would he know she didn't know. Facebook let her know, I think that's a good thing.,

I suppose they could have just sent out a mass email. That would have done the trick too?

Easier on Facebook gets the job accomplished which is to let people know .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My aunt called the husband because she wanted her daughter to have someone with her when she found out.
The reason he didn't immediately call is because he didn't want her to be alone when she found out, but also because it was the middle of the night there. He assumed she'd be asleep all night and wouldn't be online.
To be honest, nobody really thought that it would be announced on Facebook. They just didn't want her finding out at 2am while she is alone in a foreign country.
She has basically been ostracised.
She is the type of person to post things like "I can't tell you what is going on, but I need you to pray for me."
She's always looking for attention.

To clarify-my a**hole cousin has been ostracised.

What a lovely family.

Shut up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My aunt called the husband because she wanted her daughter to have someone with her when she found out.
The reason he didn't immediately call is because he didn't want her to be alone when she found out, but also because it was the middle of the night there. He assumed she'd be asleep all night and wouldn't be online.
To be honest, nobody really thought that it would be announced on Facebook. They just didn't want her finding out at 2am while she is alone in a foreign country.
She has basically been ostracised.
She is the type of person to post things like "I can't tell you what is going on, but I need you to pray for me."
She's always looking for attention.

To clarify-my a**hole cousin has been ostracised.

What a lovely family.

Shut up.

Hit too close to home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't see how this is that bad? People should be able to post to facebook as they see fit.

This is as ridiculous as friends being upset they find out someone is pregnant from facebook instead of in person

You don't see how it's bad someone finds out their parent died on Facebook? She couldn't have waited 24 hours?

Agree. I called my closest relatives and wrote others privately through email or Facebook message to let them know my brother had passed away before posting anything publicly on Facebook.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My aunt called the husband because she wanted her daughter to have someone with her when she found out.
The reason he didn't immediately call is because he didn't want her to be alone when she found out, but also because it was the middle of the night there. He assumed she'd be asleep all night and wouldn't be online.
To be honest, nobody really thought that it would be announced on Facebook. They just didn't want her finding out at 2am while she is alone in a foreign country.
She has basically been ostracised.
She is the type of person to post things like "I can't tell you what is going on, but I need you to pray for me."
She's always looking for attention.

To clarify-my a**hole cousin has been ostracised.

What a lovely family.

Shut up.

Not really. I just think your comment is ridiculous and uncalled for.

Hit too close to home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My aunt called the husband because she wanted her daughter to have someone with her when she found out.
The reason he didn't immediately call is because he didn't want her to be alone when she found out, but also because it was the middle of the night there. He assumed she'd be asleep all night and wouldn't be online.
To be honest, nobody really thought that it would be announced on Facebook. They just didn't want her finding out at 2am while she is alone in a foreign country.
She has basically been ostracised.
She is the type of person to post things like "I can't tell you what is going on, but I need you to pray for me."
She's always looking for attention.

To clarify-my a**hole cousin has been ostracised.

What a lovely family.

Shut up.

Hit too close to home?

Not really. I think your comment is ridiculous and uncalled for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My aunt called the husband because she wanted her daughter to have someone with her when she found out.
The reason he didn't immediately call is because he didn't want her to be alone when she found out, but also because it was the middle of the night there. He assumed she'd be asleep all night and wouldn't be online.
To be honest, nobody really thought that it would be announced on Facebook. They just didn't want her finding out at 2am while she is alone in a foreign country.
She has basically been ostracised.
She is the type of person to post things like "I can't tell you what is going on, but I need you to pray for me."
She's always looking for attention.

To clarify-my a**hole cousin has been ostracised.

What a lovely family.

Shut up.

Hit too close to home?

Not really. I think your comment is ridiculous and uncalled for.

And you are the one calling your cousin an asshole and taking delight in her ostracizing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see nothing wrong with it. How would he know she didn't know. Facebook let her know, I think that's a good thing.,

I suppose they could have just sent out a mass email. That would have done the trick too?

I think it also might be a generational thing. People don't think twice about posting/tweet almost every waking moment of their lives, they may not think twice about posting something like this online.

For example, these girls were caught in a storm drain with a phone. They posted to FB instead of actually calling for help:
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2009-09-07/trapped-girls-call-for-help-on-facebook/1420352

I'm sorry for your loss, OP, but your cousin sounds immature. And I'm sorry that his daughter found out about this in such an abrupt and inappropriate way. Honor the person who died, don't make this about a stupid grudge and trying to ostracize the cousin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see nothing wrong with it. How would he know she didn't know. Facebook let her know, I think that's a good thing.,

I suppose they could have just sent out a mass email. That would have done the trick too?

I think it also might be a generational thing. People don't think twice about posting/tweet almost every waking moment of their lives, they may not think twice about posting something like this online.

For example, these girls were caught in a storm drainwith a phone. They posted to FB instead of actually calling for help:
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2009-09-07/trapped-girls-call-for-help-on-facebook/1420352

I'm sorry for your loss, OP, but your cousin sounds immature. And I'm sorry that his daughter found out about this in such an abrupt and inappropriate way. Honor the person who died, don't make this about a stupid grudge and trying to ostracize the cousin.

That's called Darwin. I can only hope liked-minded idiots have the lack of sense not to call for help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. People have torn her apart. She took it down.
She put it up 2 hours after he passed away.

Wait a minute, people have "torn her apart"? Am I understanding correctly that she just lost her father? Or is this her uncle? Yes she did the wrong thing but to tear her apart at this time is equally douche-y.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe anyone is excusing this cousin's obvious and egregious error. Particularly when the uncle/father died unexpectedly.

Unless the death is also on the nightly news, the immediately family should be the first to announce it in a public space. And Facebook IS a public space.

She was not immediate family, she was his niece. And waiting until the entire immediate family has been notified is basic human decency. If you don't grasp this, you are pretty far behind social norms for this day and age.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, she should have waited to post about his death on Facebook. But I can honestly see how she might have figured that if she already knew about it, others likely did too and she was just helping to get the word out to others who would care.

It's a shame that the daughter found out about this the way that she did but you can't change that now. Try to focus your energy on paying tribute to this man's memory and comforting those closest to him. Tearing apart this cousin should be the least of your concerns right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get two things:

Why the mother called the DH.
Why the DH didn't immediately call his wife.

I get that she is in Beijing but when a family member dies the first thing you do is call the immediate family. Never a good time to break the news but why wait?

Not the OP, but I kind of get why she did this. She knew the DH was out of town and that the daughter would be potentially devastated and have no one to lean on. So, they were giving the husband time to get home. There was no way the mom could have predicted that the announcement would be made on FB - she thought she had time and wanted her daughter to have a support system. It seems fairly logical to me.

I get this too. Even without the distance and stuff. If something really bad happened to me or my family (knock wood), I would maybe call my stepdad first to see where he was in proximity to my mom before I called her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get two things:

Why the mother called the DH.
Why the DH didn't immediately call his wife.

I get that she is in Beijing but when a family member dies the first thing you do is call the immediate family. Never a good time to break the news but why wait?

Not the OP, but I kind of get why she did this. She knew the DH was out of town and that the daughter would be potentially devastated and have no one to lean on. So, they were giving the husband time to get home. There was no way the mom could have predicted that the announcement would be made on FB - she thought she had time and wanted her daughter to have a support system. It seems fairly logical to me.

I get this too. Even without the distance and stuff. If something really bad happened to me or my family (knock wood), I would maybe call my stepdad first to see where he was in proximity to my mom before I called her.

And hopefully you would wait to tell other people until you knew that your mom had been told. I'm just not seeing how this cousin or the cousin's mom would have known to keep a lid on it. And what site do you go to to confirm that a death has been formally announced? I don't think that there is a site like that is there?