The Stigma around AA parents adopting a white baby

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've often wondered why there are plenty of white parents adopting black children, but never vice-versa. Why is that?

This can't be a real question. Seriously?

Of course it's a real question and a serious one. Adoption professionals have been wondering about this for years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am black and I would never adopt a white baby. With all the unearned benefits that whites enjoy just for being white, they don't need my resources too. I would much rather take care of a black child because black children are less likely to be adopted and much more in need of stability in this racist, unfriendly society. I also don't think I could relate to a white child. I have a white husband, but taking care of a white child reminds me too much of playing nanny to a lazy white woman's spoiled child.

It seems like the woman in question did not pick between two babies, she grew attached to the one she had. Unlike you, she does not seem to objectify the children, they are people after all, not white and black accessories.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am black and I would never adopt a white baby. With all the unearned benefits that whites enjoy just for being white, they don't need my resources too. I would much rather take care of a black child because black children are less likely to be adopted and much more in need of stability in this racist, unfriendly society. I also don't think I could relate to a white child. I have a white husband, but taking care of a white child reminds me too much of playing nanny to a lazy white woman's spoiled child.

Please be a troll.

Nope, I am not a troll and I speak for most black people on this one. White people have always wanted black babies whether through adoption or outright theft. We don't want your kids though. I don't think white babies are cute and I would rather have no children than raise a white child. My husband (white) knows how I feel because I really do want to adopt after we are done having biological children. We have discussed the fact that our adopted children can be any race except white and he is not at all offended by how I feel. Think about it: Black people spend a lot of our lives subservient to white people when we leave our homes. Why would we want to continue this dynamic in our homes by adopting white babies? The photo posted by PP disgusts me. No way I will ever breastfeed and cater to a white child. Those days are behind black women.

Crazy enough I know of another white man married to a black woman with a similar belief. Perhaps I know you, lol. I think it's crazy as hell. Such an odd mindset. Then again in my experience people in interracial marriages tend to have the most racial baggage. At least the ones I know.

[Anonymous]

Can we get back to the OP's question?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am black and I would never adopt a white baby. With all the unearned benefits that whites enjoy just for being white, they don't need my resources too. I would much rather take care of a black child because black children are less likely to be adopted and much more in need of stability in this racist, unfriendly society. I also don't think I could relate to a white child. I have a white husband, but taking care of a white child reminds me too much of playing nanny to a lazy white woman's spoiled child.

Please be a troll.

Nope, I am not a troll and I speak for most black people on this one. White people have always wanted black babies whether through adoption or outright theft. We don't want your kids though. I don't think white babies are cute and I would rather have no children than raise a white child. My husband (white) knows how I feel because I really do want to adopt after we are done having biological children. We have discussed the fact that our adopted children can be any race except white and he is not at all offended by how I feel. Think about it: Black people spend a lot of our lives subservient to white people when we leave our homes. Why would we want to continue this dynamic in our homes by adopting white babies? The photo posted by PP disgusts me. No way I will ever breastfeed and cater to a white child. Those days are behind black women.

+1

I'm disgusted by the idea of raising a white child. And very relieved that my biracial son looks unmistakably Black.

Would you openly condemn another AA family for adopting a white baby and overcoming whatever disgust they may have?

No, I wouldn't condemn them. This is the first time I've ever thought about it, and I'm surprised by my intense revulsion. Now I understand why most of my Black friends are disgusted by the idea of being intimate with a white person. I never felt like that (obviously bc I married a white man), but I can't stomach the idea of raising a fully white child.

You're damaged goods and in no way represent AAs. To other posters, best to stop addressing this mentally unstable person. He/she is getting a perverted thrill from being entertained. Lady, don't blame us for your feelings about your lack of worth, which you so visibly wear on your sleeve. It's your parents' fault. In fact, you probably don't have parents or come from a broken home. You married a white man to mitigate that which failed. In all honesty, you're a pathetic coward using white children as a target for your inadequacies. Your husband will leave you soon too. No one can live around poison indefinitely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Black people do adopt, and at very high numbers. Especially single African American women. It's just supply and demand for white parents. The infertility rate factors in too.

No, stats show they adopt at low numbers and it's only recently that more single African American women are adopting on their own. Over the years, there have been guesses that the reason the numbers are lower are everything from lower rates of infertility in African American women to cultural factors but I don't believe there is any comprehensive study of why the number of African Americans adopting domestically in the US is lower.

In regards to domestic infant adoption, it's not really "supply and demand" as much as there is a low number of African American potential adoptive parents so it appears that there are in fact more African American infants available for adoption because once they pool of potential African American adoptive parents is exhausted there is outreach to white adoptive parents. In terms of "demand", the highest and most costly domestic infant adoptions today are not likely to be of white babies but of Latina or Asian babies. Families who wish to have sibling for their already internationally adopted child and the country they first adopted from is no longer an option.

Overall the pool of adoptive parents of any race at any given time in the US is tiny compared to those parents who are having children biological.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am black and I would never adopt a white baby. With all the unearned benefits that whites enjoy just for being white, they don't need my resources too. I would much rather take care of a black child because black children are less likely to be adopted and much more in need of stability in this racist, unfriendly society. I also don't think I could relate to a white child. I have a white husband, but taking care of a white child reminds me too much of playing nanny to a lazy white woman's spoiled child.

Please be a troll.

Nope, I am not a troll and I speak for most black people on this one. White people have always wanted black babies whether through adoption or outright theft. We don't want your kids though. I don't think white babies are cute and I would rather have no children than raise a white child. My husband (white) knows how I feel because I really do want to adopt after we are done having biological children. We have discussed the fact that our adopted children can be any race except white and he is not at all offended by how I feel. Think about it: Black people spend a lot of our lives subservient to white people when we leave our homes. Why would we want to continue this dynamic in our homes by adopting white babies? The photo posted by PP disgusts me. No way I will ever breastfeed and cater to a white child. Those days are behind black women.

This may as well say 'I'm a troll'.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am black and I would never adopt a white baby. With all the unearned benefits that whites enjoy just for being white, they don't need my resources too. I would much rather take care of a black child because black children are less likely to be adopted and much more in need of stability in this racist, unfriendly society. I also don't think I could relate to a white child. I have a white husband, but taking care of a white child reminds me too much of playing nanny to a lazy white woman's spoiled child.

When you look in the mirror, are you able to see the KKK hood you wear on your head?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am black and I would never adopt a white baby. With all the unearned benefits that whites enjoy just for being white, they don't need my resources too. I would much rather take care of a black child because black children are less likely to be adopted and much more in need of stability in this racist, unfriendly society. I also don't think I could relate to a white child. I have a white husband, but taking care of a white child reminds me too much of playing nanny to a lazy white woman's spoiled child.

Please be a troll.

Nope, I am not a troll and I speak for most black people on this one. White people have always wanted black babies whether through adoption or outright theft. We don't want your kids though. I don't think white babies are cute and I would rather have no children than raise a white child. My husband (white) knows how I feel because I really do want to adopt after we are done having biological children. We have discussed the fact that our adopted children can be any race except white and he is not at all offended by how I feel. Think about it: Black people spend a lot of our lives subservient to white people when we leave our homes. Why would we want to continue this dynamic in our homes by adopting white babies? The photo posted by PP disgusts me. No way I will ever breastfeed and cater to a white child. Those days are behind black women.

As an adoptive parent, I don't see any issue with what this poster is saying. It's honest and that's the best policy when discussing adoption.

Far too often, white parents adopt a non-white child even when deep down they are unsure or think that race won't matter to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am black and I would never adopt a white baby. With all the unearned benefits that whites enjoy just for being white, they don't need my resources too. I would much rather take care of a black child because black children are less likely to be adopted and much more in need of stability in this racist, unfriendly society. I also don't think I could relate to a white child. I have a white husband, but taking care of a white child reminds me too much of playing nanny to a lazy white woman's spoiled child.

Please be a troll.

Nope, I am not a troll and I speak for most black people on this one. White people have always wanted black babies whether through adoption or outright theft. We don't want your kids though. I don't think white babies are cute and I would rather have no children than raise a white child. My husband (white) knows how I feel because I really do want to adopt after we are done having biological children. We have discussed the fact that our adopted children can be any race except white and he is not at all offended by how I feel. Think about it: Black people spend a lot of our lives subservient to white people when we leave our homes. Why would we want to continue this dynamic in our homes by adopting white babies? The photo posted by PP disgusts me. No way I will ever breastfeed and cater to a white child. Those days are behind black women.

As an adoptive parent, I don't see any issue with what this poster is saying. It's honest and that's the best policy when discussing adoption.

Far too often, white parents adopt a non-white child even when deep down they are unsure or think that race won't matter to them.

I agree that PP shouldn't adopt a white baby. We're a bit concerned for her own children, and her DH.

[Anonymous]

So, since black people can't be racist, what are these two women who hate white babies? Prejudiced? I'm legitimately asking. This thread makes me want to cry for their biracial babies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, since black people can't be racist, what are these two women who hate white babies? Prejudiced? I'm legitimately asking. This thread makes me want to cry for their biracial babies.

Yes, bigoted, prejudiced. But potentially racist if any of this conveys to her own biological children and DH. And my own layman's diagnosis: Crazytown.

[Anonymous]

^they're bigots. Racism is based upon the power structure, so blanks are exempt. But anyone can be a bigot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've often wondered why there are plenty of white parents adopting black children, but never vice-versa. Why is that?

This can't be a real question. Seriously?

Why wouldn't this be a serious question? Enlighten us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am black and I would never adopt a white baby. With all the unearned benefits that whites enjoy just for being white, they don't need my resources too. I would much rather take care of a black child because black children are less likely to be adopted and much more in need of stability in this racist, unfriendly society. I also don't think I could relate to a white child. I have a white husband, but taking care of a white child reminds me too much of playing nanny to a lazy white woman's spoiled child.

Imagine if we substituted 'white' for 'black' and vice versa. Wow.