I declined these invites -- What would you do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The comments about skating being so unsafe are ridiculous and unfounded. A 5 year old would not be horrified about skating. Put on snowpants and a helmet, and they're ready to go.

You've got a long road ahead of you if you think an ice skating party is throwing your kid "out to the wolves".

I have no problem with the cash request - makes it easier on me. It's not conventional, but it's not something that would make me judge a family and I certainly would not post on DCUM.

I don't believe anyone used the word "horrified." I am sure a 5 year old who has never skated would have a hard time leaving parent's to pursue something she has never done...especially skating. This stage of development still includes children who have separation anxiety, and to add to that anxiety with a overly large skating arena is not something I would want to do.

PP, are you the mom in question who threw the party? Yes, that must be it!!!

No, I am not the mom who hosted the party. I have hosted many birthday parties at a variety of locations, and have never declined an invitation because I deemed the birthday child's parents classless. These parties are for and about the kids! God forbid they have a new experience! So they asked for cash, it's unusual but is it really worth telling your kid they're not going to a party bc the parents asked for cash? the birthday child picked an activity she likes to do, I would welcome the chance to watch my child's friend doing their favorite thing rather than the same old bouncy house. But you guys probably think kids can't separate long enough to go to the big scary bouncy house either. I would guess that more kids get hurt there than a skating rink anyhow.

From 07:49 above:

This rink does not have walkers on the main rink, where the party was being held. I asked about staff, but was told that there would be nobody there specifically to help her with her learning/falling. I know this because I have observed this rink in action, and any kids skating along the side alone who fall are on their own. It was a public skating time slot, which means there were lots of people. I just think a skating party for such 5-6 year olds on a large pubic rink is not a good idea. If child had never been on ice, they would be horrified with all the people skating around them and the constant falling. I just was not willing to throw my 5 year old to the wolves!

[Anonymous]

5 year old DS recently went to a skating party - he has trouble trying new things & was too scared to go on the ice (he's not the most coordinated til he learns a new activity and so the scaredness is actually founded in reality, in retrospect, we should've taken him to practice ahead of time if we were going to bring him to that kind of party) - but honestly he was the only one who went who didn't try or want to try of the kids who went. He ended up having fun when they were done with the skating part & he ran around with friends and had cake.
I'd say the parents & the $ is totally classless, but I'm finding more of this type of thing particularly related to the trend some parents are doing of teaching kids to management money responsibly - putting aside some of their $ to save, some for 'charity' and some of 'taxes' - there was a recent book about it. So, to be in a charitable mindset - maybe the parent is thinking of it in this vain.... While I'd say it's classless, I would still send my kid to at least the valentines party (but not again to the skating party given he how he couldn't skate) - to give him the social experience with his friends and to not take out the other kid's mom's weirdness on her child.

[Anonymous]

DCUM

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I stopped at the cash-halvsies request. No way are you going to specific what type of gift I bring to your kids' party.

Same here. We would have declined two years in a row too, and all such future invites. This is too much. Rudeness is met with gracious decline of invite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The comments about skating being so unsafe are ridiculous and unfounded. A 5 year old would not be horrified about skating. Put on snowpants and a helmet, and they're ready to go.

You've got a long road ahead of you if you think an ice skating party is throwing your kid "out to the wolves".

I have no problem with the cash request - makes it easier on me. It's not conventional, but it's not something that would make me judge a family and I certainly would not post on DCUM.

I don't believe anyone used the word "horrified." I am sure a 5 year old who has never skated would have a hard time leaving parent's to pursue something she has never done...especially skating. This stage of development still includes children who have separation anxiety, and to add to that anxiety with a overly large skating arena is not something I would want to do.

PP, are you the mom in question who threw the party? Yes, that must be it!!!

eh, I think that sending a 5 year old novice skater onto the ice alone, no prior experience, no adult skating with them is not a great idea. It just would be way too easy for a 5 year old to have a negative experience (being bumped into and sent sprawling, not knowing how to get off the ice, skates not being laced properly and coming untied/tripping them) that they would be turned off to skating and even going to parties in general. How do you expect a *5* year old to know how to lace up their own skates and take them off when they need to?

[Anonymous]

What age do you think it's acceptable to have a skating party??

The OP could have stayed to help tie skates and watch, the rinks have a skate patrol in case of a bad fall. OP seemed to expect 1on1 attention for her child at a birthday party.

Just wait till the rock climbing parties start.

[Anonymous]

I agree. It sounds bitchy and "holier than thou". Just decline and go on with your business OP. And try not to gloat too much that you feel superior.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Just curious as to what others would do in a similar situation. Just an FYI, we never invited this girl to our DD's parties.

I would decline an invitation to a birthday party I did not want my daughter to go to.

I would not post on DCUM about it in detail.

That's a fair point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The comments about skating being so unsafe are ridiculous and unfounded. A 5 year old would not be horrified about skating. Put on snowpants and a helmet, and they're ready to go.

You've got a long road ahead of you if you think an ice skating party is throwing your kid "out to the wolves".

I have no problem with the cash request - makes it easier on me. It's not conventional, but it's not something that would make me judge a family and I certainly would not post on DCUM.

I don't believe anyone used the word "horrified." I am sure a 5 year old who has never skated would have a hard time leaving parent's to pursue something she has never done...especially skating. This stage of development still includes children who have separation anxiety, and to add to that anxiety with a overly large skating arena is not something I would want to do.

PP, are you the mom in question who threw the party? Yes, that must be it!!!

eh, I think that sending a 5 year old novice skater onto the ice alone, no prior experience, no adult skating with them is not a great idea. It just would be way too easy for a 5 year old to have a negative experience (being bumped into and sent sprawling, not knowing how to get off the ice, skates not being laced properly and coming untied/tripping them) that they would be turned off to skating and even going to parties in general. How do you expect a *5* year old to know how to lace up their own skates and take them off when they need to?

Why wouldn't you lace your kid's skates?

Skating rinks allow non skaters who haven't paid admissions to stand at the boards, and to go everywhere except on the ice. You can absolutely be there to cheer your kid on, and support them without actually getting on the ice.

There are also skate guards on the ice. Every time I've fallen skating there's been one there in the heartbeat. If a child was crying or couldn't get up, they'd just have to point to you on the edge and the skate guard would bring them to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, this got hijacked by the skating safety discussions. OP, I agree with you that a skating party as they presented it is dumb - because clearly the party was 100 percent about Birthday Princess doing HER favorite activity and the heck with whether her guests would enjoy it or feel uncertain and therefore unhappy. That just is further confirmation of what the exceptionally vulgar "cash only" request tells you in the first place: This family is all about doing things that please them, not about making sure anyone else has a good time or feels comfortable. Good manners is about making others comfortable so they can in turn relax and enjoy themselves. It was very bad manners to choose an activity where most guests other than the host child probably were novices. If the family had set it up as a "skating lesson" kind of party where an adult teacher from the rink were showing some basics, that might be different. But it sounds to me as if the birthday girl just wanted to skate so everyone else should too, regardless of whether it would be fun. I bet the girl spent that party skating circles around everyone else and the guest kids just clung to the wall.

What????? You make it sound like a skating party is some kind of torture. Most kids have a good time. Thats why skating parties are so common. Yeah, the birthday girl picked HER favorite activity. Its her birthday. Do you think my son who hates sports enjoyed going to all those birthday parties that involved sports? He put on his best attitude and went because it wasn't his birthday.

Must be a function of where you live or what your kids' friends are into, but around here nobody does skating parties and never has. Lots of laser tag parties, but not skating (ice or roller) though there is a rink pretty close by.... I know my kid would have been leery of a skating party in kindergarten, which is the age the OP mentions. At older ages, sure, that might have been fun.

And as for "it's her birthday" so she should have exactly what she wants: The PP was talking about teaching kids to have a little consideration for their friends and not just think about themselves and their own favorite things to do. Like another PP said -- the birthday girl's parents could have guided her to make a different choice and that would have just been the nicer thing to do.

[Anonymous]

What about schools that have skate night parties?

Someone should tell them that it's not the nice thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Skating parties happen. You drop the kids off and they give it a shot. Mostly they cling to the outside rail. It really isn't going to do damage to your 5 year-old. I think you are being a bit over protective there. Its a great skill for kids to learn on their own how to take risks.

And the valentines thing is on you as well. Most people don't think its a real event. It is important for you, so you decline the invitation. But you are wrong to be offended that they picked that night.

The money thing is different.

Agree completely. It's REALLY okay for kids to fall on the ice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The comments about skating being so unsafe are ridiculous and unfounded. A 5 year old would not be horrified about skating. Put on snowpants and a helmet, and they're ready to go.

You've got a long road ahead of you if you think an ice skating party is throwing your kid "out to the wolves".

I have no problem with the cash request - makes it easier on me. It's not conventional, but it's not something that would make me judge a family and I certainly would not post on DCUM.

I don't believe anyone used the word "horrified." I am sure a 5 year old who has never skated would have a hard time leaving parent's to pursue something she has never done...especially skating. This stage of development still includes children who have separation anxiety, and to add to that anxiety with a overly large skating arena is not something I would want to do.

PP, are you the mom in question who threw the party? Yes, that must be it!!!

eh, I think that sending a 5 year old novice skater onto the ice alone, no prior experience, no adult skating with them is not a great idea. It just would be way too easy for a 5 year old to have a negative experience (being bumped into and sent sprawling, not knowing how to get off the ice, skates not being laced properly and coming untied/tripping them) that they would be turned off to skating and even going to parties in general. How do you expect a *5* year old to know how to lace up their own skates and take them off when they need to?

Why wouldn't you lace your kid's skates?

Skating rinks allow non skaters who haven't paid admissions to stand at the boards, and to go everywhere except on the ice. You can absolutely be there to cheer your kid on, and support them without actually getting on the ice.

There are also skate guards on the ice. Every time I've fallen skating there's been one there in the heartbeat. If a child was crying or couldn't get up, they'd just have to point to you on the edge and the skate guard would bring them to you.

I'm not an ice skater so when I've taken my kids to the rink they have skated alone with me on the sidelines watching. I also helped them with their skates. But they were older than 5 when I did that. And I had also gotten them some beginner lessons with an instructor before they ever went out on the ice by themselves.

Once they are out there on the ice and you are standing there watching - all you can really do is watch because you can't get to them. If there are 20 novice 5 year old skaters out on the ice, skating by themselves...that ice guard is going to be mighty busy. So, yeah, I would either wait until the child is somewhat capable in skating themselves or I would go out and skate with them if at all possible.

[Anonymous]

School skate nights are not just for 5 year olds. Generally the only 5 year olds who attend can skate. Also, the school rents out the whole rink. You don't have a bunch of reckless teens speeding around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:School skate nights are not just for 5 year olds. Generally the only 5 year olds who attend can skate. Also, the school rents out the whole rink. You don't have a bunch of reckless teens speeding around.

Our school and others in the area go during public sessions for skate night, because it's too expensive to rent out the ice just for our school. So there are all ages and abilities on the ice. There were plenty of KGers without parents on the ice, and many of them said it was their first time trying. Sure, some kids are going to get the hang of it faster than others. 5 is a great age to try skating, and it's frankly the falls aren't bad at all because they're short. They get right back up. It looks more crowded and chaotic from outside the glass than it actually is on the ice. If you don't want your child to go to a party, then don't go, but did you ask your child if he/she wanted to go? It really strikes me as odd to post about it here. Don't put your fears and judgment into your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What age do you think it's acceptable to have a skating party??

The OP could have stayed to help tie skates and watch, the rinks have a skate patrol in case of a bad fall. OP seemed to expect 1on1 attention for her child at a birthday party.

Just wait till the rock climbing parties start.

Have been to many rock climbing parties. Experienced guides (at least at Earth Treks) harness each child in and work the ropes for the parties DS has attended!
Ice skating...DS would skip.