I declined these invites -- What would you do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:



I'm with you on the cash but disagree abojt the skating. Every skate rink has walkers your child can use if they are new. Besides that they also have staff. I've never heard of a party where the parent is expected to provide your child with assistant. Idk just seems odd that you were so worried about the skating aspect.

This rink does not have walkers on the main rink, where the party was being held. I asked about staff, but was told that there would be nobody there specifically to help her with her learning/falling. I know this because I have observed this rink in action, and any kids skating along the side alone who fall are on their own. It was a public skating time slot, which means there were lots of people. I just think a skating party for such 5-6 year olds on a large pubic rink is not a good idea. If child had never been on ice, they would be horrified with all the people skating around them and the constant falling. I just was not willing to throw my 5 year old to the wolves!

[Anonymous]

I would decline ANY invitation that asked for a cash gift. No question.

The skating party I would have attended and had that experience with my child -- it would have been worth the risk for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:



I'm with you on the cash but disagree abojt the skating. Every skate rink has walkers your child can use if they are new. Besides that they also have staff. I've never heard of a party where the parent is expected to provide your child with assistant. Idk just seems odd that you were so worried about the skating aspect.

This rink does not have walkers on the main rink, where the party was being held. I asked about staff, but was told that there would be nobody there specifically to help her with her learning/falling. I know this because I have observed this rink in action, and any kids skating along the side alone who fall are on their own. It was a public skating time slot, which means there were lots of people. I just think a skating party for such 5-6 year olds on a large pubic rink is not a good idea. If child had never been on ice, they would be horrified with all the people skating around them and the constant falling. I just was not willing to throw my 5 year old to the wolves!

I think that most parents would choose to decline the invitation or they would choose to stay and skate with their child.

My kids were a little older than this when they went to skate parties. I got them lessons beforehand and I stayed at the rink to make sure that they did o.k. (but did not skate with them). They had a blast and did just fine. But they were not completely inexperienced and they were older than K. Makes a difference.

[Anonymous]

Skating parties happen. You drop the kids off and they give it a shot. Mostly they cling to the outside rail. It really isn't going to do damage to your 5 year-old. I think you are being a bit over protective there. Its a great skill for kids to learn on their own how to take risks.

And the valentines thing is on you as well. Most people don't think its a real event. It is important for you, so you decline the invitation. But you are wrong to be offended that they picked that night.

The money thing is different.

[Anonymous]

Wow OP you sound really high maintenance with your standards for acceptable parties. Everything has to be just so. You and your DH go out every Saturday night yet the idea of a drop off Saturday party was unappealing to you? You paid for private skating lessons for your daughter in anticipation of a party you may or may not attend? Lighten up a little, toots.

[Anonymous]

The comments about skating being so unsafe are ridiculous and unfounded. A 5 year old would not be horrified about skating. Put on snowpants and a helmet, and they're ready to go.

You've got a long road ahead of you if you think an ice skating party is throwing your kid "out to the wolves".

I have no problem with the cash request - makes it easier on me. It's not conventional, but it's not something that would make me judge a family and I certainly would not post on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Wow, this got hijacked by the skating safety discussions. OP, I agree with you that a skating party as they presented it is dumb - because clearly the party was 100 percent about Birthday Princess doing HER favorite activity and the heck with whether her guests would enjoy it or feel uncertain and therefore unhappy. That just is further confirmation of what the exceptionally vulgar "cash only" request tells you in the first place: This family is all about doing things that please them, not about making sure anyone else has a good time or feels comfortable. Good manners is about making others comfortable so they can in turn relax and enjoy themselves. It was very bad manners to choose an activity where most guests other than the host child probably were novices. If the family had set it up as a "skating lesson" kind of party where an adult teacher from the rink were showing some basics, that might be different. But it sounds to me as if the birthday girl just wanted to skate so everyone else should too, regardless of whether it would be fun. I bet the girl spent that party skating circles around everyone else and the guest kids just clung to the wall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The comments about skating being so unsafe are ridiculous and unfounded. A 5 year old would not be horrified about skating. Put on snowpants and a helmet, and they're ready to go.

You've got a long road ahead of you if you think an ice skating party is throwing your kid "out to the wolves".

I have no problem with the cash request - makes it easier on me. It's not conventional, but it's not something that would make me judge a family and I certainly would not post on DCUM.

This lady must be one of those parents who ask for cash

[Anonymous]

what others would do

What others would do? Poster, now you are being catty
- you just want to stir the pot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The comments about skating being so unsafe are ridiculous and unfounded. A 5 year old would not be horrified about skating. Put on snowpants and a helmet, and they're ready to go.

You've got a long road ahead of you if you think an ice skating party is throwing your kid "out to the wolves".

I have no problem with the cash request - makes it easier on me. It's not conventional, but it's not something that would make me judge a family and I certainly would not post on DCUM.

I don't believe anyone used the word "horrified." I am sure a 5 year old who has never skated would have a hard time leaving parent's to pursue something she has never done...especially skating. This stage of development still includes children who have separation anxiety, and to add to that anxiety with a overly large skating arena is not something I would want to do.

PP, are you the mom in question who threw the party? Yes, that must be it!!!

[Anonymous]

It's not about skating. It's about the birthday girl wanting to show off.
She's good, others are not. Others are not likely to be as good. She know this. Her mother probably knows this.
Now it is the birthday girl's special day so I understand you would expect a child to want to do what they enjoy.
However, it would have been a little nicer if the mother had steered the decision to another activity. It just would have been nicer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, this got hijacked by the skating safety discussions. OP, I agree with you that a skating party as they presented it is dumb - because clearly the party was 100 percent about Birthday Princess doing HER favorite activity and the heck with whether her guests would enjoy it or feel uncertain and therefore unhappy. That just is further confirmation of what the exceptionally vulgar "cash only" request tells you in the first place: This family is all about doing things that please them, not about making sure anyone else has a good time or feels comfortable. Good manners is about making others comfortable so they can in turn relax and enjoy themselves. It was very bad manners to choose an activity where most guests other than the host child probably were novices. If the family had set it up as a "skating lesson" kind of party where an adult teacher from the rink were showing some basics, that might be different. But it sounds to me as if the birthday girl just wanted to skate so everyone else should too, regardless of whether it would be fun. I bet the girl spent that party skating circles around everyone else and the guest kids just clung to the wall.

What????? You make it sound like a skating party is some kind of torture. Most kids have a good time. Thats why skating parties are so common. Yeah, the birthday girl picked HER favorite activity. Its her birthday. Do you think my son who hates sports enjoyed going to all those birthday parties that involved sports? He put on his best attitude and went because it wasn't his birthday.

[Anonymous]

If the party was in a better location and on a day that worked, I might have sent my kid, if my kid wanted to go. I'd pick out a gift on my own though - who does cash for small kids?!

[Anonymous]

This skating party was over a year ago, for a kid your DD isn't even friends with, and you are still agitated about it? You need to seriously chill.

[Anonymous]

I put the mental brakes on at "cash". Vular and tasteless to tell the guest that they HAVE to bring a particular gift.