I declined these invites -- What would you do?

[Anonymous]

1) was the party at MVRC in Fairfax? My DD went to a K party there and they don't have the penguins or buckets for the kids to hold onto, they don't have double bladed skates, and they don't have anyone to help skaters. I also cannot ice skate for health reasons, so I asked another parent who was going if she could help out my DD so she could go. I was nervous but DD had fun.

2) OP sounds gossipy for saying "another mother said they are having an ice skating party so the birthday girl can show off" Who cares, it's the kid's party, if she wants to have an ice skating party that's her and her parents' call. Judging that is rude.

3). The money things is super classless. I always suspect people who say "bring something for charity" are going to take the tax write off. I know some people who purposely having big birthday parties with a charity theme so they can write off the entire cost as a fundraiser. I was shocked when the father told me. I don't discuss that with other people, except on an anonymous forum, but Ive heard this from two different families.

4) If my kid wanted to go, I would let them go if it worked for our schedule. Regardless of how wackadoodle the parents are, maybe the birthday girl is a nice kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1) was the party at MVRC in Fairfax? My DD went to a K party there and they don't have the penguins or buckets for the kids to hold onto, they don't have double bladed skates, and they don't have anyone to help skaters. I also cannot ice skate for health reasons, so I asked another parent who was going if she could help out my DD so she could go. I was nervous but DD had fun.

2) OP sounds gossipy for saying "another mother said they are having an ice skating party so the birthday girl can show off" Who cares, it's the kid's party, if she wants to have an ice skating party that's her and her parents' call. Judging that is rude.

3). The money things is super classless. I always suspect people who say "bring something for charity" are going to take the tax write off. I know some people who purposely having big birthday parties with a charity theme so they can write off the entire cost as a fundraiser. I was shocked when the father told me. I don't discuss that with other people, except on an anonymous forum, but Ive heard this from two different families.

4) If my kid wanted to go, I would let them go if it worked for our schedule. Regardless of how wackadoodle the parents are, maybe the birthday girl is a nice kid.

Speaking of judging PP, didn't you just judge when you made this post?

As for the money, I think the charity idea is fine if all the money goes to the charity (not half) and if the charity is specified. I actually think it is awesome if handled properly. But taking half of he money for birthday girl is beyond tacky.

[Anonymous]

I think it is insane that people think it is inappropriate to have a skating party if that is the activity that the birthday child wants to do. My son was recently invited to a skating party and had never skated before. I took him a few times to try to teach him, but he didn't progress enough for it to be safe for him to skate at the party (I could not attend to assist him due to a conflict). So I just asked if he could come later for the cake. It was just fine and everyone was happy and got what they wanted.

[Anonymous]

eh, I think that sending a 5 year old novice skater onto the ice alone, no prior experience, no adult skating with them is not a great idea.

I agree with you. I used to be a competitive skater and skated multiple times a week. I saw people at the rink who were new skaters injuring themselves with some regularity. Five year old kids at least need practice with adult supervision to learn how to fall properly to avoid injury and how to get up safely after a fall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter was invited to a birthday party 2 years in a row. This is not a close friend of my DD...just a school friend. BOTH times, we but to bring CASH instead of a wrapped present. The cash would be split in two. Half would be given to a charity (not specified), and the other half would be given to the birthday girl to use for whatever she likes.

Now, also know that the first party was an ice skating party for kindergarteners. The birthday girl is an accomplished skater. The invited children would be expected to be on their own on a big rink unless a parent skated with them. Unfortunately I am unable to do so (nor is DH) because of muscular-skeletal issues (we are older parents). When I asked about supervision on the rink I was told that they did not have any extra adults to help with the inexperienced children. OK then! Invite declined.

The second party (this past year) was held on a Saturday night on Valentine's Day...yes I kid you not. Again, the cash only direction for gift. Invite declined.

Just curious as to what others would do in a similar situation. Just an FYI, we never invited this girl to our DD's parties.

Why don't you invite this child when you know you receive invites? Are you too good?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is insane that people think it is inappropriate to have a skating party if that is the activity that the birthday child wants to do. My son was recently invited to a skating party and had never skated before. I took him a few times to try to teach him, but he didn't progress enough for it to be safe for him to skate at the party (I could not attend to assist him due to a conflict). So I just asked if he could come later for the cake. It was just fine and everyone was happy and got what they wanted.

This

[Anonymous]

I think the whole cash request thing is tacky, unless all of it is going to a charity and they inform you of the charity in advance. I was appalled when I found out a tween family member had requested "gift cards only" on her party invites; some of the girls still gave gifts, which seemed to be appreciated by the birthday girl.

I think the ice skating is appropriate; and, when you asked, they let you know what the conditions would be. The Valentines Day thing was not a problem either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, this got hijacked by the skating safety discussions. OP, I agree with you that a skating party as they presented it is dumb - because clearly the party was 100 percent about Birthday Princess doing HER favorite activity and the heck with whether her guests would enjoy it or feel uncertain and therefore unhappy. That just is further confirmation of what the exceptionally vulgar "cash only" request tells you in the first place: This family is all about doing things that please them, not about making sure anyone else has a good time or feels comfortable. Good manners is about making others comfortable so they can in turn relax and enjoy themselves. It was very bad manners to choose an activity where most guests other than the host child probably were novices. If the family had set it up as a "skating lesson" kind of party where an adult teacher from the rink were showing some basics, that might be different. But it sounds to me as if the birthday girl just wanted to skate so everyone else should too, regardless of whether it would be fun. I bet the girl spent that party skating circles around everyone else and the guest kids just clung to the wall.

What????? You make it sound like a skating party is some kind of torture. Most kids have a good time. Thats why skating parties are so common. Yeah, the birthday girl picked HER favorite activity. Its her birthday. Do you think my son who hates sports enjoyed going to all those birthday parties that involved sports? He put on his best attitude and went because it wasn't his birthday.

Must be a function of where you live or what your kids' friends are into, but around here nobody does skating parties and never has. Lots of laser tag parties, but not skating (ice or roller) though there is a rink pretty close by.... I know my kid would have been leery of a skating party in kindergarten, which is the age the OP mentions. At older ages, sure, that might have been fun.

And as for "it's her birthday" so she should have exactly what she wants: The PP was talking about teaching kids to have a little consideration for their friends and not just think about themselves and their own favorite things to do. Like another PP said -- the birthday girl's parents could have guided her to make a different choice and that would have just been the nicer thing to do.

Really? 3 kids in my class have had ice skating parties this year, at either Cabin John or Wheaton. My kid took ice skating lessons at Kettler, and the party room there was always full.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter was invited to a birthday party 2 years in a row. This is not a close friend of my DD...just a school friend. BOTH times, we but to bring CASH instead of a wrapped present. The cash would be split in two. Half would be given to a charity (not specified), and the other half would be given to the birthday girl to use for whatever she likes.

Now, also know that the first party was an ice skating party for kindergarteners. The birthday girl is an accomplished skater. The invited children would be expected to be on their own on a big rink unless a parent skated with them. Unfortunately I am unable to do so (nor is DH) because of muscular-skeletal issues (we are older parents). When I asked about supervision on the rink I was told that they did not have any extra adults to help with the inexperienced children. OK then! Invite declined.

The second party (this past year) was held on a Saturday night on Valentine's Day...yes I kid you not. Again, the cash only direction for gift. Invite declined.

Just curious as to what others would do in a similar situation. Just an FYI, we never invited this girl to our DD's parties.

Why don't you invite this child when you know you receive invites? Are you too good?

Well this is certainly off topic, but nobody is obliged to invite kids to parties just because your DC was invited. If that were the case, I would be inviting 50 kids to our parties. No thank you!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It not just falling on the ice though, is it? Its falling on the ice amongst people wearing blades on the bottom of their skates.

Face + skate = mess

Have you ever skated?

yes, indeed I have. I used to go regularly to a rink in White Plains NY. Loved it. Big beige suede boots and cute boys to talk to. Also hot chocolate and marshmallows. You can see the skating part was minor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter was invited to a birthday party 2 years in a row. This is not a close friend of my DD...just a school friend. BOTH times, we but to bring CASH instead of a wrapped present. The cash would be split in two. Half would be given to a charity (not specified), and the other half would be given to the birthday girl to use for whatever she likes.

Now, also know that the first party was an ice skating party for kindergarteners. The birthday girl is an accomplished skater. The invited children would be expected to be on their own on a big rink unless a parent skated with them. Unfortunately I am unable to do so (nor is DH) because of muscular-skeletal issues (we are older parents). When I asked about supervision on the rink I was told that they did not have any extra adults to help with the inexperienced children. OK then! Invite declined.

The second party (this past year) was held on a Saturday night on Valentine's Day...yes I kid you not. Again, the cash only direction for gift. Invite declined.

Just curious as to what others would do in a similar situation. Just an FYI, we never invited this girl to our DD's parties.

Why don't you invite this child when you know you receive invites? Are you too good?

Well this is certainly off topic, but nobody is obliged to invite kids to parties just because your DC was invited. If that were the case, I would be inviting 50 kids to our parties. No thank you!!

Actually, its the polite thing to you. You get an invitation, you return the favor by sending one of your own. To exclude when you have been invited it not very classy (or kind).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter was invited to a birthday party 2 years in a row. This is not a close friend of my DD...just a school friend. BOTH times, we but to bring CASH instead of a wrapped present. The cash would be split in two. Half would be given to a charity (not specified), and the other half would be given to the birthday girl to use for whatever she likes.

Now, also know that the first party was an ice skating party for kindergarteners. The birthday girl is an accomplished skater. The invited children would be expected to be on their own on a big rink unless a parent skated with them. Unfortunately I am unable to do so (nor is DH) because of muscular-skeletal issues (we are older parents). When I asked about supervision on the rink I was told that they did not have any extra adults to help with the inexperienced children. OK then! Invite declined.

The second party (this past year) was held on a Saturday night on Valentine's Day...yes I kid you not. Again, the cash only direction for gift. Invite declined.

Just curious as to what others would do in a similar situation. Just an FYI, we never invited this girl to our DD's parties.

Why don't you invite this child when you know you receive invites? Are you too good?

Well this is certainly off topic, but nobody is obliged to invite kids to parties just because your DC was invited. If that were the case, I would be inviting 50 kids to our parties. No thank you!!

Actually, its the polite thing to you. You get an invitation, you return the favor by sending one of your own. To exclude when you have been invited it not very classy (or kind).

I disagree. I don't think you are required to invite a child that is not a close friend to your child's party. This could potentially make a small guest list exceedingly large. You should invite someone because you want them to attend with no future obligations expected from your potential guest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter was invited to a birthday party 2 years in a row. This is not a close friend of my DD...just a school friend. BOTH times, we but to bring CASH instead of a wrapped present. The cash would be split in two. Half would be given to a charity (not specified), and the other half would be given to the birthday girl to use for whatever she likes.

Now, also know that the first party was an ice skating party for kindergarteners. The birthday girl is an accomplished skater. The invited children would be expected to be on their own on a big rink unless a parent skated with them. Unfortunately I am unable to do so (nor is DH) because of muscular-skeletal issues (we are older parents). When I asked about supervision on the rink I was told that they did not have any extra adults to help with the inexperienced children. OK then! Invite declined.

The second party (this past year) was held on a Saturday night on Valentine's Day...yes I kid you not. Again, the cash only direction for gift. Invite declined.

Just curious as to what others would do in a similar situation. Just an FYI, we never invited this girl to our DD's parties.

Why don't you invite this child when you know you receive invites? Are you too good?

Well this is certainly off topic, but nobody is obliged to invite kids to parties just because your DC was invited. If that were the case, I would be inviting 50 kids to our parties. No thank you!!

Actually, its the polite thing to you. You get an invitation, you return the favor by sending one of your own. To exclude when you have been invited it not very classy (or kind).

I disagree. I don't think you are required to invite a child that is not a close friend to your child's party. This could potentially make a small guest list exceedingly large. You should invite someone because you want them to attend with no future obligations expected from your potential guest.

You're rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter was invited to a birthday party 2 years in a row. This is not a close friend of my DD...just a school friend. BOTH times, we but to bring CASH instead of a wrapped present. The cash would be split in two. Half would be given to a charity (not specified), and the other half would be given to the birthday girl to use for whatever she likes.

Now, also know that the first party was an ice skating party for kindergarteners. The birthday girl is an accomplished skater. The invited children would be expected to be on their own on a big rink unless a parent skated with them. Unfortunately I am unable to do so (nor is DH) because of muscular-skeletal issues (we are older parents). When I asked about supervision on the rink I was told that they did not have any extra adults to help with the inexperienced children. OK then! Invite declined.

The second party (this past year) was held on a Saturday night on Valentine's Day...yes I kid you not. Again, the cash only direction for gift. Invite declined.

Just curious as to what others would do in a similar situation. Just an FYI, we never invited this girl to our DD's parties.

Why don't you invite this child when you know you receive invites? Are you too good?

Well this is certainly off topic, but nobody is obliged to invite kids to parties just because your DC was invited. If that were the case, I would be inviting 50 kids to our parties. No thank you!!

Actually, its the polite thing to you. You get an invitation, you return the favor by sending one of your own. To exclude when you have been invited it not very classy (or kind).

I disagree. I don't think you are required to invite a child that is not a close friend to your child's party. This could potentially make a small guest list exceedingly large. You should invite someone because you want them to attend with no future obligations expected from your potential guest.

You're rude.

How is it rude to not invite a person who is not your friend to a party? What if you have a limited budget and cannot accommodate an extra (unwanted) guest?

[Anonymous]

I disagree. I don't think you are required to invite a child that is not a close friend to your child's party. This could potentially make a small guest list exceedingly large. You should invite someone because you want them to attend with no future obligations expected from your potential guest.

I sort of agree. We have larger parties and I don't expect that every kid that we invite who has a smaller party will invite DS. I would be somewhat annoyed if a child we invited had a large party and left DS out, though.