School Bullying -- Go Directly to School or Courtesy Heads Up to Parents First?

[Anonymous]

This has crossed from bullying (bad) to sexual harassment (worse). Please go directly to the school. We had a situation a few months ago where another boy touched my son in the bathing suit area (clothed) and the teacher saw it. The school said it was harassment. I made sure that the teachers etc knew that we didn't want the two boys in groups alone etc and they are not allowed to interact outside of school. The school assured me that the other parents knew what happened.

You are doing the right thing by standing up for your daughter. Let the school handle it. Some parents are in denial and you have no idea what is going on inside someone's house. I would not confront the parents.

Hugs to you. I know how upsetting this can be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Police and principal. Do NOT contact the parents. He sexually assaulted your daughter by rubbing himself on her. I don't care if it was his backside. He even used a sexual term when he was doing it. Disgusting!

The police -- really? Twerking is not a sexual term -- it's the term used for a very sexualized dance move -- basically a stripper move.
Call the school AND call the parents would be my move. I also would have counseled my DD to slap the crap out of that boy the next time he attempted to do that to her. Have to teach folks how to treat you -- let them know that you are not an easy mark. Sometimes things do not take a yearlong intervention and the involvement of every social agency and psyhotropic drug known to modern medicine. Sometimes it just takes an old school kick in the arse!

It is body contact. It is rubbing. It is sexual. It was done against her will, so it is sexual assault. So is kissing ok, since its only kissing? No, if he had kissed her against her will, it would be sexual assault. He rubbed his private area (yes, his butt) on her to intimidate her. To hold power over her. And now, you are encouraging the OP to teach her child to respond violently so that the police will be called on her and she'll have the police record?? Naw, this needs to be dealt with in a way that will stop this future rapist in his tracks!

You would not respond with violence against a personal assault?
Dimwit

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This has crossed from bullying (bad) to sexual harassment (worse). Please go directly to the school. We had a situation a few months ago where another boy touched my son in the bathing suit area (clothed) and the teacher saw it. The school said it was harassment. I made sure that the teachers etc knew that we didn't want the two boys in groups alone etc and they are not allowed to interact outside of school. The school assured me that the other parents knew what happened.

You are doing the right thing by standing up for your daughter. Let the school handle it. Some parents are in denial and you have no idea what is going on inside someone's house. I would not confront the parents.

Hugs to you. I know how upsetting this can be.

I agree. Honestly, if this were my son, I would want to know about it whether it's from the school OR from you, and as soon as I knew about it, I'd be addressing it very seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Police and principal. Do NOT contact the parents. He sexually assaulted your daughter by rubbing himself on her. I don't care if it was his backside. He even used a sexual term when he was doing it. Disgusting!

The police -- really? Twerking is not a sexual term -- it's the term used for a very sexualized dance move -- basically a stripper move.
Call the school AND call the parents would be my move. I also would have counseled my DD to slap the crap out of that boy the next time he attempted to do that to her. Have to teach folks how to treat you -- let them know that you are not an easy mark. Sometimes things do not take a yearlong intervention and the involvement of every social agency and psyhotropic drug known to modern medicine. Sometimes it just takes an old school kick in the arse!

It is body contact. It is rubbing. It is sexual. It was done against her will, so it is sexual assault. So is kissing ok, since its only kissing? No, if he had kissed her against her will, it would be sexual assault. He rubbed his private area (yes, his butt) on her to intimidate her. To hold power over her. And now, you are encouraging the OP to teach her child to respond violently so that the police will be called on her and she'll have the police record?? Naw, this needs to be dealt with in a way that will stop this future rapist in his tracks!

You would not respond with violence against a personal assault?
Dimwit

Not the PP you are addressing, but honestly, as the mother of a middle school boy? I would HOPE someone is teaching their daughters to fight back, as I'm likewise teaching my kid that this is absolutely unacceptable to do to someone. I wish someone had given me the go-ahead to protect myself at that age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Police and principal. Do NOT contact the parents. He sexually assaulted your daughter by rubbing himself on her. I don't care if it was his backside. He even used a sexual term when he was doing it. Disgusting!

The police -- really? Twerking is not a sexual term -- it's the term used for a very sexualized dance move -- basically a stripper move.
Call the school AND call the parents would be my move. I also would have counseled my DD to slap the crap out of that boy the next time he attempted to do that to her. Have to teach folks how to treat you -- let them know that you are not an easy mark. Sometimes things do not take a yearlong intervention and the involvement of every social agency and psyhotropic drug known to modern medicine. Sometimes it just takes an old school kick in the arse!

It is body contact. It is rubbing. It is sexual. It was done against her will, so it is sexual assault. So is kissing ok, since its only kissing? No, if he had kissed her against her will, it would be sexual assault. He rubbed his private area (yes, his butt) on her to intimidate her. To hold power over her. And now, you are encouraging the OP to teach her child to respond violently so that the police will be called on her and she'll have the police record?? Naw, this needs to be dealt with in a way that will stop this future rapist in his tracks!

yes, i do teach my girl child that if someone is continually putting their hands on her, that she has a right to defend herself. There will not always be a parent, teacher, school psychologist around. No, my child does not have to take abuse until there is an adult around to tell. In the moment, she is allowed to physcially defend her person. And next time, that little boy will know who he is dealing with and just may think twice before he decides to put his hand or his behind on my child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Police and principal. Do NOT contact the parents. He sexually assaulted your daughter by rubbing himself on her. I don't care if it was his backside. He even used a sexual term when he was doing it. Disgusting!

The police -- really? Twerking is not a sexual term -- it's the term used for a very sexualized dance move -- basically a stripper move.
Call the school AND call the parents would be my move. I also would have counseled my DD to slap the crap out of that boy the next time he attempted to do that to her. Have to teach folks how to treat you -- let them know that you are not an easy mark. Sometimes things do not take a yearlong intervention and the involvement of every social agency and psyhotropic drug known to modern medicine. Sometimes it just takes an old school kick in the arse!

It is body contact. It is rubbing. It is sexual. It was done against her will, so it is sexual assault. So is kissing ok, since its only kissing? No, if he had kissed her against her will, it would be sexual assault. He rubbed his private area (yes, his butt) on her to intimidate her. To hold power over her. And now, you are encouraging the OP to teach her child to respond violently so that the police will be called on her and she'll have the police record?? Naw, this needs to be dealt with in a way that will stop this future rapist in his tracks!

You would not respond with violence against a personal assault?
Dimwit

Not the PP you are addressing, but honestly, as the mother of a middle school boy? I would HOPE someone is teaching their daughters to fight back, as I'm likewise teaching my kid that this is absolutely unacceptable to do to someone. I wish someone had given me the go-ahead to protect myself at that age.

Thank you!My DH would love that to be her first response! My DD is quite the mediator, but knows that no one is allowed to touch her and she has every right to defend herself.