Do you ever wish your DH made more money?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, some days it bothers me a lot. I have actually contemplated leaving my DH over it. What keeps me here is I do love him and he does take good care of me and the kids otherwise, helps around the house, etc. He has struggled a lot career wise though. I try not to fault him too much because we did graduate during the recession but still it's very frustrating.

If I had it all over to do again, I honestly would not marry him unless he made more money. I do believe financial stability makes marriage and life easier.

OH MY GOD.

[Anonymous]

Why do men stay with women likes these?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I make a decent amount of money and support our family, and DH makes very little. I get resentful because I always thought that either he would make enough so that I could go PT, or we would have enough money to really live well. Instead, I work FT, but his hours are worse than mine, so I also do the majority of the child-related things, and we don't get to go on vacation often because I need to work so much. Its very stressful being basically the sold source of income, not something I ever thought I would do.

OP here. That's my worst fear; being depended on for our whole family's lifestyle. I strongly expect my man to provide for me and take care of me financially, so it's a little strange getting used to the idea that I'll have to be the primary breadwinner.

OP, how much do you make and how much does he make?

Without going into specifics, together our HHI is around 88K.

Which means you dont make much money yourself. You dont seem like a winner at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nah, I checked out all the portfolios of the men I dated and passed on those who were never going to meet my standards in life. It was a little expensive getting an accountant and financial advisor to go through them all, but it really worked out for me.

You actually paid for this? You sound like a gold digger. I will pretend you are just kidding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I make a decent amount of money and support our family, and DH makes very little. I get resentful because I always thought that either he would make enough so that I could go PT, or we would have enough money to really live well. Instead, I work FT, but his hours are worse than mine, so I also do the majority of the child-related things, and we don't get to go on vacation often because I need to work so much. Its very stressful being basically the sold source of income, not something I ever thought I would do.

OP here. That's my worst fear; being depended on for our whole family's lifestyle. I strongly expect my man to provide for me and take care of me financially, so it's a little strange getting used to the idea that I'll have to be the primary breadwinner.

OP, how much do you make and how much does he make?

Without going into specifics, together our HHI is around 88K.

Which means you dont make much money yourself. You dont seem like a winner at all.

I work in non profits, i didn't go into it for money. Now im contemplating switching over to the private sector so one of us makes more money.

[Anonymous]

I could never disrespect my husband like some of you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do men stay with women likes these?

I'm a woman, and I have no idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a man. I have gotten this argument from my wife, wishing I made more money. I am making 2.5x what I made when we met... we can't afford the beach house she wants, and we rely on our excellent public schools. fwiw, dw is a sahm to a 12 yo.

I'm going to hazard a guess that she doesn't do housework.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I could never disrespect my husband like some of you do.

That's because you're husband is probably loaded.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I could never disrespect my husband like some of you do.

It's not disrespectful. Everyone has their wish list for a spouse. You marry a person expecting X but end up with Y of course you will be upset.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could never disrespect my husband like some of you do.

That's because you're husband is probably loaded.

Not hardly. I love him rich or poor. He is my rock.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I make my own money. Do you have a high paying career yourself?

No. But by the looks of it, I probably will have to if I want to give my children the life I envision.

well, boo hoo for you. Cry me a river.

And what is it your kids are lacking? If private school is your only answer, then you need get real. You sound entitled.

If you "envisioned" a certain life for your kids, you should have made career choices before you even met a guy and got married that would enable that life.

I agree with PP. I make my own money. I set out on my own at a young age always with the plan in mind that if I wanted a certain lifestyle, it was on me and no one else to provide it. The only caveat I had for marriage was that I would not marry someone who didn't contribute equally. But I never saw marriage as a means to not having to work/support myself. I saw it as -- if I met someone I really loved -- a way to secure certain legal rights (in case of hospitalization, death, et cetera).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could never disrespect my husband like some of you do.

That's because you're husband is probably loaded.

Not hardly. I love him rich or poor. He is my rock.

I guarantee if he were truly broke you would quickly grow tired of him. There is nothing fun about struggling. A large portion of marriages end due to finances so I'd say a lot of women actually feel the same as the Op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could never disrespect my husband like some of you do.

It's not disrespectful. Everyone has their wish list for a spouse. You marry a person expecting X but end up with Y of course you will be upset.

It is disrespectful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, some days it bothers me a lot. I have actually contemplated leaving my DH over it. What keeps me here is I do love him and he does take good care of me and the kids otherwise, helps around the house, etc. He has struggled a lot career wise though. I try not to fault him too much because we did graduate during the recession but still it's very frustrating.

If I had it all over to do again, I honestly would not marry him unless he made more money. I do believe financial stability makes marriage and life easier.

No question financial stability helps. Which is why I earn enough to support myself and my family. I am not expecting DH to do it, although now that he's out of government it's nice to have more.