In laws are changing their will and said my husband needs to sign some papers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the assholes are asking the husband to sign a paper saying their non Jewish DIL isn't getting shit in case they die.

Would server OP right.

My MIL actually did this. She bought some property somewhere and wanted me to sign papers giving up my claim to it in case she died. I refused, my husband was 100% supportive, and she told me that she would write my husband (her son) out of her will if I didn't do what she demanded.

We told her to do what she needed to do. Whatever, don't care. Like the OP, we don't need whatever it is she has.

Your husband needs to grow a pair OP.

Why wouldn't you sign it?

Not PP, but perhaps because her MIL had no business getting involved in their finances. The property would have been an inheritance to her son, who could have kept it completely separate from the joint property and it then would have been completely protected from PP's claims in the event of divorce. He could even bequeath it directly to their children upon death rather than leaving it to PP. But rather than giving the property to her son and allowing him to make his own decisions, she was trying to control their marriage via an inheritance.

That's something I'd reject on principle.

[Anonymous]

Just saw another thread...hope they aren't signing their timeshare over to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the assholes are asking the husband to sign a paper saying their non Jewish DIL isn't getting shit in case they die.

Would server OP right.

My MIL actually did this. She bought some property somewhere and wanted me to sign papers giving up my claim to it in case she died. I refused, my husband was 100% supportive, and she told me that she would write my husband (her son) out of her will if I didn't do what she demanded.

We told her to do what she needed to do. Whatever, don't care. Like the OP, we don't need whatever it is she has.

Your husband needs to grow a pair OP.

Why wouldn't you sign it?

Because we are married and saw it as a deliberate division of that pact. What's mine is his and vice versa, you don't get to cherry pick. If she gives something to my husband, then she's giving it to me by extension. Or she doesn't have to, that is her right. She has another son who is unmarried and will likely remain so, better that she leave everything to him if she's scared of her legacy falling into the hands of someone she didn't give birth to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the assholes are asking the husband to sign a paper saying their non Jewish DIL isn't getting shit in case they die.

Would server OP right.

My MIL actually did this. She bought some property somewhere and wanted me to sign papers giving up my claim to it in case she died. I refused, my husband was 100% supportive, and she told me that she would write my husband (her son) out of her will if I didn't do what she demanded.

We told her to do what she needed to do. Whatever, don't care. Like the OP, we don't need whatever it is she has.

Your husband needs to grow a pair OP.

Why wouldn't you sign it?

Because we are married and saw it as a deliberate division of that pact. What's mine is his and vice versa, you don't get to cherry pick. If she gives something to my husband, then she's giving it to me by extension. Or she doesn't have to, that is her right. She has another son who is unmarried and will likely remain so, better that she leave everything to him if she's scared of her legacy falling into the hands of someone she didn't give birth to.

Your arrogance is appalling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the assholes are asking the husband to sign a paper saying their non Jewish DIL isn't getting shit in case they die.

Would server OP right.

My MIL actually did this. She bought some property somewhere and wanted me to sign papers giving up my claim to it in case she died. I refused, my husband was 100% supportive, and she told me that she would write my husband (her son) out of her will if I didn't do what she demanded.

We told her to do what she needed to do. Whatever, don't care. Like the OP, we don't need whatever it is she has.

Your husband needs to grow a pair OP.

Why wouldn't you sign it?

Because we are married and saw it as a deliberate division of that pact. What's mine is his and vice versa, you don't get to cherry pick. If she gives something to my husband, then she's giving it to me by extension. Or she doesn't have to, that is her right. She has another son who is unmarried and will likely remain so, better that she leave everything to him if she's scared of her legacy falling into the hands of someone she didn't give birth to.

Your arrogance is appalling.

That's nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the assholes are asking the husband to sign a paper saying their non Jewish DIL isn't getting shit in case they die.

Would server OP right.

My MIL actually did this. She bought some property somewhere and wanted me to sign papers giving up my claim to it in case she died. I refused, my husband was 100% supportive, and she told me that she would write my husband (her son) out of her will if I didn't do what she demanded.

We told her to do what she needed to do. Whatever, don't care. Like the OP, we don't need whatever it is she has.

Your husband needs to grow a pair OP.

Why wouldn't you sign it?

Because we are married and saw it as a deliberate division of that pact. What's mine is his and vice versa, you don't get to cherry pick. If she gives something to my husband, then she's giving it to me by extension. Or she doesn't have to, that is her right. She has another son who is unmarried and will likely remain so, better that she leave everything to him if she's scared of her legacy falling into the hands of someone she didn't give birth to.

It's her own property. She has the right to give it to whoever she wants, married or not. I would never leave my houses to someone who wouldn't promise to keep them in the actual family in case of a divorce.

[Anonymous]

OP are you the same one who was mad at your husband for getting in a wreck and then not buying a Mercedes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is entirely up to your husband and his parents.

You have no say in the matter unless he is signing something that compromises your current assets or takes on new liabilities that would affect your marital financial status.

She has no say in what his parents decide to do with their money. But in a marriage, these are the kinds of things you share. You don't keep these kinds of secrets. That the parents want it kept a secret doesn't trouble me, it's that OP's husband is going along with it, and very obviously putting his parents ahead of his marriage. Even if whatever he's signing has zero implications for OP, because she is his wife OP's husband should be willing to open up to her and make sure she's included if for no other reason than to reassure OP that she's not being compromised in some way.

After he signs whatever he is going to sign, he should disclose to OP what he obligated himself to - assuming there was an obligation. He should not keep it a secret.

All I am saying is that whether he/his parents want OP there or reviewing the documents ahead of time or prior to him signing the document/s is a call OP's husband must make.

If I were the OP, I would tell her husband that he can go ahead with whatever they want him to sign as long as he does not compromise their current marital assets. He should also understand what he is signing and if he has any doubts that he should seek advice whether from OP or someone else who is qualified.

OP has the absolute right to ensure their marital assets are not impacted. Her husband has the absolute right to agree or disagree with anything his parents want him to sign that affects his rights with regard to their assets. OP has no say when it comes to the terms of disposition of his parents assets.

Keep in mind that OP has acknowledged that her relationship with her in-laws are/have been an issue.

You're right that ultimately the OP's DH has to make that call, I'm saying that he should respect his wife enough to get a prior understanding of what's going on and not commit himself to anything without talking to her first. If this were something totally innocuous and on the up-and-up, OP's in-laws would be willing to tell him what they need him to sign in advance. After all, in standard estate planning no one needs to sign anything other than the people making the wills/trusts/POAs. That they're not willing to tell him in advance automatically raises suspicion. Further, he's going out there supposedly with no clue what's going to happen, does anyone think this guy is really going to look at the papers and then tell his parents that he needs to go call his wife before he signs? Of course not, if he'd be willing to do that, he's also be willing to find out what this about before he went out there. If it's something that truly has nothing to do with the OP, then he can go ahead and do whatever he likes, and finding out in advance what it's about and talking to his wife doesn't preclude that.

The other possibility is that he already knows exactly what this is about but doesn't want to tell OP. Either way, it's problematic for their marriage that OP's DH is blowing off her concerns.

Pretty obvious to me why the parents will not send the documents ahead of time. They don't want OP to influence their son as to what he should do especially given the frayed relationship between them and OP.

Yes, he may know what is in the documents or more likely he knows the reason why they won't tell him or give him an advance copy of the documents is because they have told him that they don't want the OP involved in the matter.

Let us assume that it has to do with making sure any inheritance they leave is completely protected from access by the OP. Should OP have any say in this matter or is it something to be resolved between her husband and his parents? After all, we are not talking about marital assets here and OP should not have any concern about how her in-laws choose to dispose of their assets.

[Anonymous]

Promises mean nothing legally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Promises mean nothing legally.

I'm 20:33, and I wonder if you're responding to me. Yes, I know- I should have written 'promised in writing' as in a contract or trust.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it reasonable for you to either go along or at least know what he is signing. If your finances are combined it affects you too.

He said he doesn't know and won't ask and is flying there to sign papers. His parents are assholes so I have no idea what it could be and we don't need their money but it is still unsettling that it is all so vague and secretive.

Wow. He has to fly there? Doesn't he have a spine?

That just doesn't add up. I've had legal documents executed across the globe. It's called a notary.

[Anonymous]

What is wrong with you people? Are your spouses, in laws and families this bad and are you that distrusting. Neither my nor dhs parents would ask us to sign something harmful to us. My dh is smart enough to make this decision without me, I trust him unconditionally and he me. I thought that was normal for a marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is wrong with you people? Are your spouses, in laws and families this bad and are you that distrusting. Neither my nor dhs parents would ask us to sign something harmful to us. My dh is smart enough to make this decision without me, I trust him unconditionally and he me. I thought that was normal for a marriage

would your in-laws say...
.... hey we need you here to sign some papers, please fly out here, no - we are not telling you what you are siginig before you get here?

[Anonymous]

OP,

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Your ILs want to influence their son without your presence, that much is obvious. However, it could be for something laughably ridiculous. My parents are like that - they would treat the creation of a trust fund for 1 K as reverently and secretively as if they were creating a trust fund for one billion. And they would probably prefer my husband not be there - they don't trust him.

However the fact that your husband told you he would sign anything is a concern: it looks like he's trying to shut down any discussion between you because he can't bear more hectoring (not that he really would sign anything!). So I worry about your relationship with your husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is entirely up to your husband and his parents.

You have no say in the matter unless he is signing something that compromises your current assets or takes on new liabilities that would affect your marital financial status.

She has no say in what his parents decide to do with their money. But in a marriage, these are the kinds of things you share. You don't keep these kinds of secrets. That the parents want it kept a secret doesn't trouble me, it's that OP's husband is going along with it, and very obviously putting his parents ahead of his marriage. Even if whatever he's signing has zero implications for OP, because she is his wife OP's husband should be willing to open up to her and make sure she's included if for no other reason than to reassure OP that she's not being compromised in some way.

After he signs whatever he is going to sign, he should disclose to OP what he obligated himself to - assuming there was an obligation. He should not keep it a secret.

All I am saying is that whether he/his parents want OP there or reviewing the documents ahead of time or prior to him signing the document/s is a call OP's husband must make.

If I were the OP, I would tell her husband that he can go ahead with whatever they want him to sign as long as he does not compromise their current marital assets. He should also understand what he is signing and if he has any doubts that he should seek advice whether from OP or someone else who is qualified.

OP has the absolute right to ensure their marital assets are not impacted. Her husband has the absolute right to agree or disagree with anything his parents want him to sign that affects his rights with regard to their assets. OP has no say when it comes to the terms of disposition of his parents assets.

Keep in mind that OP has acknowledged that her relationship with her in-laws are/have been an issue.

You're right that ultimately the OP's DH has to make that call, I'm saying that he should respect his wife enough to get a prior understanding of what's going on and not commit himself to anything without talking to her first. If this were something totally innocuous and on the up-and-up, OP's in-laws would be willing to tell him what they need him to sign in advance. After all, in standard estate planning no one needs to sign anything other than the people making the wills/trusts/POAs. That they're not willing to tell him in advance automatically raises suspicion. Further, he's going out there supposedly with no clue what's going to happen, does anyone think this guy is really going to look at the papers and then tell his parents that he needs to go call his wife before he signs? Of course not, if he'd be willing to do that, he's also be willing to find out what this about before he went out there. If it's something that truly has nothing to do with the OP, then he can go ahead and do whatever he likes, and finding out in advance what it's about and talking to his wife doesn't preclude that.

The other possibility is that he already knows exactly what this is about but doesn't want to tell OP. Either way, it's problematic for their marriage that OP's DH is blowing off her concerns.

Pretty obvious to me why the parents will not send the documents ahead of time. They don't want OP to influence their son as to what he should do especially given the frayed relationship between them and OP.

Yes, he may know what is in the documents or more likely he knows the reason why they won't tell him or give him an advance copy of the documents is because they have told him that they don't want the OP involved in the matter.

Let us assume that it has to do with making sure any inheritance they leave is completely protected from access by the OP. Should OP have any say in this matter or is it something to be resolved between her husband and his parents? After all, we are not talking about marital assets here and OP should not have any concern about how her in-laws choose to dispose of their assets.

I think we've well-established in this thread that OP's in-laws are free to do what they want with their money. No one is disputing that.

The point of contention seems to be what OP's DH should be doing in response. Some people think his first loyalty should be to his marriage, and that since he's not acting that way, that's a problem. If you're right that it's about making sure OP doesn't get any of the in-laws money, some of us would still have a problem with our spouses going along with that. Not because we want the money, but because we would be incredibly hurt if our spouses allowed their parents to drive a wedge in our marriage just to get the promise of some money. Seems of low character, and that's not a marriage I'd want to be in.