Online dating - men (especially successful men), how hard do you 'sell yourselves'?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you like receding hairlines and beer bellies?

If so go on a date ... I don't! To me a receding hairline and a bit of a beer belly means fat, bald, and impotent five years out.

This is why I am getting a hair transplant. I have some good things going for me but if women are son hung up on hair, If I don't do something, I am going to wind up alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's probably lying to get the date and you'll find out later it's all nonsense. Are you beautiful, OP?

If it is true, he still sounds lame for mentioning it.

OP here: Am I beautiful? I hate questions like this, because how do you objectively answer them about yourself, but I get the spirit in which it's asked. I am, empirically, better looking than he is. He lists his body type as having "a few extra pounds" and appears to have a little bit of a beer belly and a receding hairline in his photos.

And I agree that if it is true, it's lame to mention.

To be 100% clear here (not because the quoted poster suggested it, but just for everyone) - I'm not looking for a rich guy. I do well enough on my own (certainly not flying private, but am a professional, own my own home, etc.) and I met this guy on a mainstream website, not sugardaddy.com or whatever it's called. I probably wouldn't date a cashier from the supermarket, because I don't wish to finance someone else's life, but the last few guys I've been out with have been all over the place income-wise. One was in banking, another runs a non-profit, another was in sales. This week, I have dates planned with the over-seller, and a veterinarian. Coming from the perspective I am, I am obviously finding the lying (if it's not true) or bragging (if it is) about his lifestyle unnecessary/off-putting. However....

I keep hearing (even on this board) that online dating is difficult for men. That unless you are flashing your six-pack abs or your fancy car on your profile, the vast majority of women won't even respond to your messages. Some of the guys I work with and I have traded stories, and while I'm easily managing several dates with different men/month, nice, average-looking, professional guys (in particular, the two I know personally are a lawyer and an accountant) are lucky if they get one date every couple of months. Since the over-seller does not have six-pack abs, I'm wondering if bragging about his extravagant life is the only way he feels he can get a date. So I'm trying to keep an open mind for that reason, not because I'm really really hoping he is as rich as he sounds. Though at this point - the alternative - that he's a liar - is not really someone I see myself dating either.

That is because as with the rest of society, men generally make the first step and guys will email every woman with the hope that they get a response, which means women are saturated with choices. I tell my guys friends to stop wasting their time with this sh#t and go where there are a lot more women than men - cultural events, book clubs, etc. And at least the fringe benefit for them is they might learn something instead of work, sports, and the usual.....

[Anonymous]

OP, have you met with the guy? How did it go? Is there a second date?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you like receding hairlines and beer bellies?

If so go on a date ... I don't! To me a receding hairline and a bit of a beer belly means fat, bald, and impotent five years out.

This is why I am getting a hair transplant. I have some good things going for me but if women are son hung up on hair, If I don't do something, I am going to wind up alone.

What would you look like fully bald? Maybe consider shaving it all?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you like receding hairlines and beer bellies?

If so go on a date ... I don't! To me a receding hairline and a bit of a beer belly means fat, bald, and impotent five years out.

This is why I am getting a hair transplant. I have some good things going for me but if women are son hung up on hair, If I don't do something, I am going to wind up alone.

Woman here. Please do not do this, unless it's something that will make YOU happy. If a woman doesn't give you a chance because of your hair, you are better off without her.

[Anonymous]

Agree with PP. I fell in love with my husband AND his receding hairline ( he was young for it) bc he was just so secure and unbothered by it. He's very athletic and funny and kind and I have always liked him as he is. And he gives me the same acceptance of me, imperfections and all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with PP. I fell in love with my husband AND his receding hairline ( he was young for it) bc he was just so secure and unbothered by it. He's very athletic and funny and kind and I have always liked him as he is. And he gives me the same acceptance of me, imperfections and all.

Ahhhh

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you guys are reading way too much into this. It sounds to me like your typical guy is boasting a bit to impress someone. Some guys do this more than others. Is it attractive, no. But don't refuse to meet just because of this. Meet in person. You cannot judge someone over e-mail. Meet, have some drinks, talk. If he spends the entire night talking about his travels around the world,k his multiple penthouses, etc, sure, cut things off. But you might also find a normal guy who was too dumb to realize the mistake of making that kind of a brag at that stage of meeting someone.

Be careful that he's not referring to the magazine rather than real estate

[Anonymous]

This is why online dating is toxic and a Catch 22. Whether weight, height, hair, income, body type, everybody exaggerates. But the people who would not have to exaggerate don't need online dating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's trying to impress you.

Of course he is. BECAUSE IT WORKS! Listen to her, she's trying to pretend like she doesn't care about his wealth, but she wants to and she DOES.

[Anonymous]

Talking about "flying private" is a dead giveaway that this guy is trying to impress you, and is rather gauche about it. Ask yourself why a guy with his wealth and status would need to impress random women on online dating sites.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
If so go on a date ... I don't! To me a receding hairline and a bit of a beer belly means fat, bald, and impotent five years out.

What a peach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
If so go on a date ... I don't! To me a receding hairline and a bit of a beer belly means fat, bald, and impotent five years out.

Check back in when you're 50 and single, we'll see who's impotent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you like receding hairlines and beer bellies?

If so go on a date ... I don't! To me a receding hairline and a bit of a beer belly means fat, bald, and impotent five years out.

This is why I am getting a hair transplant. I have some good things going for me but if women are son hung up on hair, If I don't do something, I am going to wind up alone.

Please do. The sooner the better!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you like receding hairlines and beer bellies?

If so go on a date ... I don't! To me a receding hairline and a bit of a beer belly means fat, bald, and impotent five years out.

This is why I am getting a hair transplant. I have some good things going for me but if women are son hung up on hair, If I don't do something, I am going to wind up alone.

Please do. The sooner the better!

Most women I know don't mind bald at all - wear it with confidence and a twinkle in your eye and you will be just fine.