Just got grief for bringing 5 yo DS into the women's locker room

[Anonymous]

How close to 6 is your kid? FWIW, I think if he's tall and close to 6, he belongs in the family room or in the men's locker room or else changed at home. It wasn't cold today so you could have easily taken him out. My guess is that your kid is very close to the age of 6.

[Anonymous]

It's amazing to me how many people on DCUM (quite reasonably) are very protective of their sons because of pedophiles on the playground, in extracurriculars, etc., but then demand that 6-year-olds be sent into LOCKER ROOMS alone. Unbelievable.

[Anonymous]

A 5 yo is capable of walking through the men's locker room to get to the pool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How close to 6 is your kid? FWIW, I think if he's tall and close to 6, he belongs in the family room or in the men's locker room or else changed at home. It wasn't cold today so you could have easily taken him out. My guess is that your kid is very close to the age of 6.

OP here. He'll be 6 in September.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's amazing to me how many people on DCUM (quite reasonably) are very protective of their sons because of pedophiles on the playground, in extracurriculars, etc., but then demand that 6-year-olds be sent into LOCKER ROOMS alone. Unbelievable.

She can take him home with a robe on or change him in a non locker room, in a family changing room, or in the hallway with a towel around him. There are lots of alternatives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How close to 6 is your kid? FWIW, I think if he's tall and close to 6, he belongs in the family room or in the men's locker room or else changed at home. It wasn't cold today so you could have easily taken him out. My guess is that your kid is very close to the age of 6.

Why do you think he's almost 6? My nephew who is 4y 9m is 48" tall and could easily pass for 6 yo. What do you think my sister and I should do when we take our sons (almost 5, 4.5, 3 and 2.5) to our pool without a family room?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's amazing to me how many people on DCUM (quite reasonably) are very protective of their sons because of pedophiles on the playground, in extracurriculars, etc., but then demand that 6-year-olds be sent into LOCKER ROOMS alone. Unbelievable.

She can take him home with a robe on or change him in a non locker room, in a family changing room, or in the hallway with a towel around him. There are lots of alternatives.

Nice - and where should Mom change??? Today may have been unseasonably warm but doubt this will hold true, I know I don't want to go outside or get in my car in 30 degree weather with a wet bathing suit on even if under clothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe these aren't the best years for you to be taking your male children to the pool. Don't you have a husband?

Not the OP but this is ridiculous - husband or not a 5 yo boy should be able to use the women's locker with his mother. I take my 4.5 yo to swim lessons and my husband rarely comes. I don't want to wait for ONE family/handicapped changing room nor tie it up when there are people who really need it.

I"m not the PP you quoted, but I disagree. If a trusted adult male is available to take the boy into the men's room, they should do that. I find it really weird when older boys go into the women's room with their moms while Dad waits outside. I say this as a mother of 4 sons, whose husband was in the military when they were growing up and deployed often. When I was out alone with my boys, and there was a "family room" option, I always used it.

So yes, OP, if there is a family room available, seek it out.

Ah, the ubiquitous DCUM straw man. PP, how often does this really happen?

I have no idea how often it happens, but it DOES happen because I have seen it. A few months ago I was in Disney World in a women's restroom (in that same Pavilion of Epcot where "Soarin' is) and no kidding, a mom had two boys that appeared to be about 15 and 12! When I saw them outside the restroom, they met up with a large group that appeared to be family members that consisted of several adult males (I'm assuming at least one was the boys' dad-plus maybe a grandpa and a couple uncles.) Really? None of those adult males could be trusted to bring the teens into the mens room? And really, the teens could have gone in the mens' room on their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's amazing to me how many people on DCUM (quite reasonably) are very protective of their sons because of pedophiles on the playground, in extracurriculars, etc., but then demand that 6-year-olds be sent into LOCKER ROOMS alone. Unbelievable.

She can take him home with a robe on or change him in a non locker room, in a family changing room, or in the hallway with a towel around him. There are lots of alternatives.

Nice - and where should Mom change??? Today may have been unseasonably warm but doubt this will hold true, I know I don't want to go outside or get in my car in 30 degree weather with a wet bathing suit on even if under clothing.

As I mentioned, taking them to a NON locker room is another option..so the women's room. If your kid is big enough to bring discomfort to others and is old enough for kindergarten, he's too big for the women's locker room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It wouldn't bother me as long as he was behaving.

A few years ago, a woman brought a boy into a fitting room I was in and he kept walking around peeking under curtains and pulling them back. When a woman complained to the mother, the mother kept saying, "It doesn't matter. He's only 5." So if he behaves himself and doesn't peep, then it's fine.

That is not a gender issue, that is a behavioral issue.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should find a family locker room. 5 is too old to be in the ladies' room. If you ignored a polite request, I'd be in the manager's office. It's against the rules in most places.

Absolute garbage.

Agree. This country has such weird hangups about bodies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

As I mentioned, taking them to a NON locker room is another option..so the women's room. If your kid is big enough to bring discomfort to others and is old enough for kindergarten, he's too big for the women's locker room.

I disagree - if the policy is 6 and below for opposite sex kids in locker rooms then that's that. I would suggest those bothered by young boys in the women's locker rooms change in the shower stalls (if available) or even toilet stalls as it is your problem.

[Anonymous]

Look, I loathe women who bring their pre-teen sons into the women's locker room to shower and change after swimming. It drives me crazy and every time I see someone breaking that rule, I report them to the management of the rec center or pool club, etc. That being said, if the rule of the facility is that kids up to age 6 can be in the opposite sex locker room, then that is what the rule is. If I said my usual, "This is the women's locker room. Why don't you take your son to the family changing room?" and you told me he was 5, I would apologize to you and wish you and your son a happy new year. I follow the rules too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe these aren't the best years for you to be taking your male children to the pool. Don't you have a husband?

Not the OP but this is ridiculous - husband or not a 5 yo boy should be able to use the women's locker with his mother. I take my 4.5 yo to swim lessons and my husband rarely comes. I don't want to wait for ONE family/handicapped changing room nor tie it up when there are people who really need it.

I"m not the PP you quoted, but I disagree. If a trusted adult male is available to take the boy into the men's room, they should do that. I find it really weird when older boys go into the women's room with their moms while Dad waits outside. I say this as a mother of 4 sons, whose husband was in the military when they were growing up and deployed often. When I was out alone with my boys, and there was a "family room" option, I always used it.

So yes, OP, if there is a family room available, seek it out.

Sorry for not being clear about the husband - I meant it should be ok for me to take my DS to the pool without my husband. If my husband (or another trusted adult male) is with us, I happily send DS into the men's locker room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look, I loathe women who bring their pre-teen sons into the women's locker room to shower and change after swimming. It drives me crazy and every time I see someone breaking that rule, I report them to the management of the rec center or pool club, etc. That being said, if the rule of the facility is that kids up to age 6 can be in the opposite sex locker room, then that is what the rule is. If I said my usual, "This is the women's locker room. Why don't you take your son to the family changing room?" and you told me he was 5, I would apologize to you and wish you and your son a happy new year. I follow the rules too.

I have never even once seen someone bring a pre-teen boy into the ladies locker room. Unless you consider 6 year olds to be "pre-teens".