Am I overreacting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We invite her for all fun stuff we do and often pay for her tickets. She doesn't join us for meals because of her school schedule.
She left today and txted me wishing a speedy recovery saying she'd be gone for the weekend.
I'm pretty disappointed.

It also depends on her weekend plans. I wouldn't expect a "distant cousin"/tenant to cancel out of town weekend plans to help you.

+1 this she had plans and she's not there to help anyway. Can your husband help you ?

Like I said, he's working from home. His company is not very family friendly and since it's holiday season they don't give personal days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why didn't you ask her for help? Just be direct, and polite. People aren't mind readers, especially college kids.

Because we didn't have the money to pay for her hourly rate and if we asked we'd had to pay. If she offered we'd def tip her but not pay as much as she charges - 22/h for 2 kids.

The college kids in my Bethesda neighborhood charge $12ph for one child and $15 for two.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am curious. What type of surgery did you have that you feel entitled to have her cancel her plans and stick around to help? Perhaps that is why she left, because she figured thats all she'd have to do all weekend.

I feel sorry for her.

I wonder why you're sorry for her. Is it for her living rent free? Is it for her not paying for food or utilities?
Is it for all the outings we take her with us? Is for the fact that she doesn't pay for tutors because we help her with her English lessons, homework and papers for school?

I cooked in advance and froze the food, paid her to clean the house so the only help I needed was someone to keep an eye on the kids so I could nap or take a shower while DH works. But I guess it's too much to ask for.

Honestly, if you're up and showering, you're probably not feeling all that bad.

Says the person who has never had open abdomen surgery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She lives with you for FREE in a costly city and you pay her for some cleaning?

Who pays her food? Who pays the extra utilities for a third adult?

Yes, she should be extremely grateful, as should her parents (who seem to be off the hook now for their college child's room and board).

I'd say this is very telling. She should be helping you and thanking you much more. Now it seems clearer she is just using use for free house and maybe more.

Pretty sockpuppet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, if she is 34 years old and does not pitch in around the house except for things she is paid to do, she probably should be paying something in rent. 22/hour for babysitting also sounds high for me.

In retrospect you could have said, hey distant cousin, since I'm having surgery in a couple weeks, do you think you will be around to lend a hand?

34 years old and living with you and your husband for free? Yuck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am curious. What type of surgery did you have that you feel entitled to have her cancel her plans and stick around to help? Perhaps that is why she left, because she figured thats all she'd have to do all weekend.

I feel sorry for her.

I wonder why you're sorry for her. Is it for her living rent free? Is it for her not paying for food or utilities?
Is it for all the outings we take her with us? Is for the fact that she doesn't pay for tutors because we help her with her English lessons, homework and papers for school?

I cooked in advance and froze the food, paid her to clean the house so the only help I needed was someone to keep an eye on the kids so I could nap or take a shower while DH works. But I guess it's too much to ask for.

Honestly, if you're up and showering, you're probably not feeling all that bad.

Says the person who has never had open abdomen surgery.

Like two c-sections?

[Anonymous]

I just saw your post on the nanny board, OP. You clearly feel well enough to whine on multiple forums today. Try reading a book to your children and stop whining to anyone in cyber-space who will listen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am curious. What type of surgery did you have that you feel entitled to have her cancel her plans and stick around to help? Perhaps that is why she left, because she figured thats all she'd have to do all weekend.

I feel sorry for her.

I wonder why you're sorry for her. Is it for her living rent free? Is it for her not paying for food or utilities?
Is it for all the outings we take her with us? Is for the fact that she doesn't pay for tutors because we help her with her English lessons, homework and papers for school?

I cooked in advance and froze the food, paid her to clean the house so the only help I needed was someone to keep an eye on the kids so I could nap or take a shower while DH works. But I guess it's too much to ask for.

Honestly, if you're up and showering, you're probably not feeling all that bad.

Says the person who has never had open abdomen surgery.

Like two c-sections?

If you really had 2 csecs you should know that just because you're up and showering it doesn't mean you're ok to be left alone with 2 small children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just saw your post on the nanny board, OP. You clearly feel well enough to whine on multiple forums today. Try reading a book to your children and stop whining to anyone in cyber-space who will listen.

LOL Seriously, OP, read a book to your children while DH is working and stop being such a princess.

[Anonymous]

Why do you need someone to watch your children while you shower ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just saw your post on the nanny board, OP. You clearly feel well enough to whine on multiple forums today. Try reading a book to your children and stop whining to anyone in cyber-space who will listen.

So now you consider this "family" a nanny?!!! LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just saw your post on the nanny board, OP. You clearly feel well enough to whine on multiple forums today. Try reading a book to your children and stop whining to anyone in cyber-space who will listen.

They're too young to sit still quietly while I read but thanks for the sweet suggestion of how I should spen my healing time with my children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you need someone to watch your children while you shower ?

Because they're small and I can't run if something happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just saw your post on the nanny board, OP. You clearly feel well enough to whine on multiple forums today. Try reading a book to your children and stop whining to anyone in cyber-space who will listen.

LOL Seriously, OP, read a book to your children while DH is working and stop being such a princess.

I'm confused. Is it the mom who posted as a nanny on the nanny forum ?

[Anonymous]

If you were going to need so much help during your recovery, you really should have used your words and figured out a support plan in advance. Not just assumed that your employee (which is effectively what she is) would read your mind, realize you'd need help, and be willing to offer it for free. Playing the victim is so very unattractive.