Am I overreacting?

[Anonymous]

Honestly I can't imagine seeing in the family calendar "SURGERY" and not going to the mom and asking "I see you're having surgery that day, do you need any help?"
It's not a matter of reading minds. It's a matter of being thoughtful to those who give you a roof and food to eat.

[Anonymous]

THIS ^^

[Anonymous]

Can we stop saying that the woman is living "rent free"? In the original post (OP has since changed facts) she said that the cousin provides childcare while living with them, and that they pay her for the housekeeping, which it sounds like is also occasional. It sounds like a labor for room exchange, and so it is NOT free.

OP I think you're totally in the wrong here. You wanted the help, but didn't want to pay, and you're mad it wasn't offered for free. You wanted something for free, and the world just doesn't work that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can we stop saying that the woman is living "rent free"? In the original post (OP has since changed facts) she said that the cousin provides childcare while living with them, and that they pay her for the housekeeping, which it sounds like is also occasional. It sounds like a labor for room exchange, and so it is NOT free.

OP I think you're totally in the wrong here. You wanted the help, but didn't want to pay, and you're mad it wasn't offered for free. You wanted something for free, and the world just doesn't work that way.

Nothing changed. Reread the OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can we stop saying that the woman is living "rent free"? In the original post (OP has since changed facts) she said that the cousin provides childcare while living with them, and that they pay her for the housekeeping, which it sounds like is also occasional. It sounds like a labor for room exchange, and so it is NOT free.

OP I think you're totally in the wrong here. You wanted the help, but didn't want to pay, and you're mad it wasn't offered for free. You wanted something for free, and the world just doesn't work that way.

Since when we started charging/paying for family to come and help in a time of need?

[Anonymous]

Man, I would never hire a nanny off dcum, they all sound like nut jobs. Hadn't checked out the from til now, given this tread came from there. Crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man, I would never hire a nanny off dcum, they all sound like nut jobs. Hadn't checked out the from til now, given this tread came from there. Crazy.

1) OP got ripped a new one in both forums, because it is she who is being crazy.
2) This is not a nanny issue. OP doesn't have a nanny.
3) Not every DCUM nanny posted to that thread
4) Everyone here is self identified. There is no way to tell who is actually a nanny and who is a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can we stop saying that the woman is living "rent free"? In the original post (OP has since changed facts) she said that the cousin provides childcare while living with them, and that they pay her for the housekeeping, which it sounds like is also occasional. It sounds like a labor for room exchange, and so it is NOT free.

OP I think you're totally in the wrong here. You wanted the help, but didn't want to pay, and you're mad it wasn't offered for free. You wanted something for free, and the world just doesn't work that way.

Nothing changed. Reread the OP.

In OPs own words:

We have a college student who helps us on occasion with childcare. She lives here rent free since she's DH's distant cousin.

She cleans for us and we pay her for that.

From that it sounds as though cousin babysits in exchange for occasional childcare, and they pay her for twice monthly housecleaning. OP considers it rent free, but it is a labor exchange. OP proceeded to add and change a lot of details as the thread goes on. She is most likely a troll, and if not she is a foolish, entitled, princess.

[Anonymous]

OP is this cousin back?

[Anonymous]

There is no need for name calling especially when hiding behind a computer. Just be civil ladies!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can we stop saying that the woman is living "rent free"? In the original post (OP has since changed facts) she said that the cousin provides childcare while living with them, and that they pay her for the housekeeping, which it sounds like is also occasional. It sounds like a labor for room exchange, and so it is NOT free.

OP I think you're totally in the wrong here. You wanted the help, but didn't want to pay, and you're mad it wasn't offered for free. You wanted something for free, and the world just doesn't work that way.

Nothing changed. Reread the OP.

In OPs own words:

We have a college student who helps us on occasion with childcare. She lives here rent free since she's DH's distant cousin.

She cleans for us and we pay her for that.

From that it sounds as though cousin babysits in exchange for occasional childcare, and they pay her for twice monthly housecleaning. OP considers it rent free, but it is a labor exchange. OP proceeded to add and change a lot of details as the thread goes on. She is most likely a troll, and if not she is a foolish, entitled, princess.

I didn't change anything. I added details. We pay her to watch our kids one weekend a month for 4 hours. She does live here rent free we also include her in outings, we give her tickets to places like the movies, concerts, etc. We pay for her food and also her cell phone. Please follow the thread if you want to share your opinion. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is this cousin back?

She is but she left before we could talk. I will message her in the morning asking for time to talk privately away from the kids.

[Anonymous]

So this 34 yr old distant cousin lives with you for free. You pay for her food, outings/entertainment with your family, cell phone, and help her with her college homework and you get back nothing in return but pay her for occasional babysitting and house cleaning?!?

Why such an arrangement? She or her family treated a member of your husband's immediate family the same way? Your arrangement is so one sided that we have problems understanding it. You expect nothing from this person so it's not surprising she did not help you after you had major surgery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So this 34 yr old distant cousin lives with you for free. You pay for her food, outings/entertainment with your family, cell phone, and help her with her college homework and you get back nothing in return but pay her for occasional babysitting and house cleaning?!?

Why such an arrangement? She or her family treated a member of your husband's immediate family the same way? Your arrangement is so one sided that we have problems understanding it. You expect nothing from this person so it's not surprising she did not help you after you had major surgery.

She's family. In our culture we help family. She needed help, wants a better future so we gave her a hand. Obviously she's not being appreciative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So this 34 yr old distant cousin lives with you for free. You pay for her food, outings/entertainment with your family, cell phone, and help her with her college homework and you get back nothing in return but pay her for occasional babysitting and house cleaning?!?

Why such an arrangement? She or her family treated a member of your husband's immediate family the same way? Your arrangement is so one sided that we have problems understanding it. You expect nothing from this person so it's not surprising she did not help you after you had major surgery.

She's family. In our culture we help family. She needed help, wants a better future so we gave her a hand. Obviously she's not being appreciative.

Honestly my hope was to be able to have her help me with childcare so I could go back to work FT but her schedule won't fit my work schedule.