husband won't go to church

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn't it a sin for a Catholic to marry without committing to bring his kids up as Catholics? Perhaps he is feeling too guilty to attend church.

No.

I was the one who asked the question. Obviously I'm not Catholic. I guess it's just that a Catholic priest won't perform the marriage without that commitment, but that although the marriage does not have the Church's blessing, it is not sinful; is that correct?

I hope this does not sound snide; I'm just trying to get my facts straight.

If you are not married in the church, and you are Catholic, you are living in sin. Only marriages celebrated by a priest are valid, sacramental marriages. The parents must promise to raise their children Catholic.

OP here. I'm not living in sin. I even waited to have sex until we were married by an ordained Anglican priest. I'm sorry the Catholic Church disagrees with that, but their opinion of marriage has nothing to do with the state of my salvation.

I wasn't talking about you. I was talking about your DH. He's the one who is RC and not following the rules. And actually if you were married by an Anglican priest, he should be good in the eyes of the Roman Catholic church. Anglicans are schismatic, but not heretical. They are Catholics, just not Roman Catholic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn't it a sin for a Catholic to marry without committing to bring his kids up as Catholics? Perhaps he is feeling too guilty to attend church.

No.

I was the one who asked the question. Obviously I'm not Catholic. I guess it's just that a Catholic priest won't perform the marriage without that commitment, but that although the marriage does not have the Church's blessing, it is not sinful; is that correct?

I hope this does not sound snide; I'm just trying to get my facts straight.

If you are not married in the church, and you are Catholic, you are living in sin. Only marriages celebrated by a priest are valid, sacramental marriages. The parents must promise to raise their children Catholic.

OP here. I'm not living in sin. I even waited to have sex until we were married by an ordained Anglican priest. I'm sorry the Catholic Church disagrees with that, but their opinion of marriage has nothing to do with the state of my salvation.

I wasn't talking about you. I was talking about your DH. He's the one who is RC and not following the rules. And actually if you were married by an Anglican priest, he should be good in the eyes of the Roman Catholic church. Anglicans are schismatic, but not heretical. They are Catholics, just not Roman Catholic.

I just went through the process last year so:
1. The Catholic spouse has to promise to expise their kids to Catholicism, and the non-Catholic spouse has to agree not to interfere.
2. Non-Catholic weddings are recognized. A priest does not have to officiate for it to be valid (we were married by a Protestant minister with the Church's enthusiastic blessing). They would REALLY REALLY like you to run it by them first, but a non-Catholic wedding is still valid.
3. There is no issue of salvation in any of this. Nodoby goes to hell for not having a Catholic marriage or letting their kids be Protestant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn't it a sin for a Catholic to marry without committing to bring his kids up as Catholics? Perhaps he is feeling too guilty to attend church.

No.

I was the one who asked the question. Obviously I'm not Catholic. I guess it's just that a Catholic priest won't perform the marriage without that commitment, but that although the marriage does not have the Church's blessing, it is not sinful; is that correct?

I hope this does not sound snide; I'm just trying to get my facts straight.

If you are not married in the church, and you are Catholic, you are living in sin. Only marriages celebrated by a priest are valid, sacramental marriages. The parents must promise to raise their children Catholic.

OP here. I'm not living in sin. I even waited to have sex until we were married by an ordained Anglican priest. I'm sorry the Catholic Church disagrees with that, but their opinion of marriage has nothing to do with the state of my salvation.

I wasn't talking about you. I was talking about your DH. He's the one who is RC and not following the rules. And actually if you were married by an Anglican priest, he should be good in the eyes of the Roman Catholic church. Anglicans are schismatic, but not heretical. They are Catholics, just not Roman Catholic.

I just went through the process last year so:
1. The Catholic spouse has to promise to expise their kids to Catholicism, and the non-Catholic spouse has to agree not to interfere.
2. Non-Catholic weddings are recognized. A priest does not have to officiate for it to be valid (we were married by a Protestant minister with the Church's enthusiastic blessing). They would REALLY REALLY like you to run it by them first, but a non-Catholic wedding is still valid.
3. There is no issue of salvation in any of this. Nodoby goes to hell for not having a Catholic marriage or letting their kids be Protestant.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
2. Non-Catholic weddings are recognized. A priest does not have to officiate for it to be valid (we were married by a Protestant minister with the Church's enthusiastic blessing). They would REALLY REALLY like you to run it by them first, but a non-Catholic wedding is still valid.

This is not true.

http://www.catholiceducation.org/en/culture/catholic-contributions/must-catholics-marry-in-a-church.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
2. Non-Catholic weddings are recognized. A priest does not have to officiate for it to be valid (we were married by a Protestant minister with the Church's enthusiastic blessing). They would REALLY REALLY like you to run it by them first, but a non-Catholic wedding is still valid.

This is not true.

http://www.catholiceducation.org/en/culture/catholic-contributions/must-catholics-marry-in-a-church.html

Not sure who made that website, but it contradicts what actually happens in parishes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
2. Non-Catholic weddings are recognized. A priest does not have to officiate for it to be valid (we were married by a Protestant minister with the Church's enthusiastic blessing). They would REALLY REALLY like you to run it by them first, but a non-Catholic wedding is still valid.

This is not true.

http://www.catholiceducation.org/en/culture/catholic-contributions/must-catholics-marry-in-a-church.html

Not sure who made that website, but it contradicts what actually happens in parishes.

But it's on a website, and that trumps what happens IRL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
2. Non-Catholic weddings are recognized. A priest does not have to officiate for it to be valid (we were married by a Protestant minister with the Church's enthusiastic blessing). They would REALLY REALLY like you to run it by them first, but a non-Catholic wedding is still valid.

This is not true.

http://www.catholiceducation.org/en/culture/catholic-contributions/must-catholics-marry-in-a-church.html

Not sure who made that website, but it contradicts what actually happens in parishes.

But it's on a website, and that trumps what happens IRL.

OP here. But it's what happened to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
2. Non-Catholic weddings are recognized. A priest does not have to officiate for it to be valid (we were married by a Protestant minister with the Church's enthusiastic blessing). They would REALLY REALLY like you to run it by them first, but a non-Catholic wedding is still valid.

This is not true.

http://www.catholiceducation.org/en/culture/catholic-contributions/must-catholics-marry-in-a-church.html

Not sure who made that website, but it contradicts what actually happens in parishes.

But it's on a website, and that trumps what happens IRL.

OP here. But it's what happened to him.

I agree it happened to him, but it shouldn't have. It's one of the reasons we did our pre-Cana in a liberal Jesuit church.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn't it a sin for a Catholic to marry without committing to bring his kids up as Catholics? Perhaps he is feeling too guilty to attend church.

No.

I was the one who asked the question. Obviously I'm not Catholic. I guess it's just that a Catholic priest won't perform the marriage without that commitment, but that although the marriage does not have the Church's blessing, it is not sinful; is that correct?

I hope this does not sound snide; I'm just trying to get my facts straight.

OP here. We did not have a Catholic wedding, so he's actually sinning all over the place. He's been denied Communion at his last church over it. Hmmm....

Also, to the poster who said I was nagging, I am not.

If your husband doesn't care if the kids are raised catholic or in another religion or in no religion, it sounds like you have free rein, as long as you don't insist that he go to church.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn't it a sin for a Catholic to marry without committing to bring his kids up as Catholics? Perhaps he is feeling too guilty to attend church.

No.

I was the one who asked the question. Obviously I'm not Catholic. I guess it's just that a Catholic priest won't perform the marriage without that commitment, but that although the marriage does not have the Church's blessing, it is not sinful; is that correct?

I hope this does not sound snide; I'm just trying to get my facts straight.

If you are not married in the church, and you are Catholic, you are living in sin. Only marriages celebrated by a priest are valid, sacramental marriages. The parents must promise to raise their children Catholic.

Not true. Only the Catholic partner must make that promise.

http://www.catholic.com/quickquestions/the-groom-wont-agree-to-raise-their-children-as-catholics-can-they-still-marry

"(the Catholic) make a sincere promise to do all in [her] power so that all offspring are baptized and brought up in the Catholic Church" (CIC 1125 §1). (The non-Catholic), on the other hand, need only "be informed at an appropriate time about the promises which [she] is to make, in such a way that it is certain that [he] is truly aware of [her] promise and obligation" (CIC 1125 §2). He is not required to make the same promises. In fact, the marriage can go forward even if he is resistant to her promises."

See also http://www.catholic.com/quickquestions/in-a-mixed-marriage-does-the-couple-have-to-promise-to-raise-their-children-catholic-

Of course, this assumes marriage in the Catholic Church. A Catholic married in a non-Catholic church has not made such promises. (Also, the Catholic Church does not recognize the marriage as valid, but that's another story.)

[Anonymous]

A marriage in a mainstream Protestant church is valid enough to require annulment in the Catholic church. For example, let us say that OP's husband divorced her and wanted to remarry in the Catholic church. That first marriage in the Protestant church would have to be annulled first before he could remarry in the Catholic church.

We don't know the circumstances here. However, if OP's husband had a past of practicing Catholicism that he fell out of, as many do in their late teens and twenties, he could well be having regrets about agreeing to raise the children Protestant.

OP has even suggested this may be the case. This could be the reason for his current passive aggressive stance on going to church. For some Catholics, Protestantism is but a pale imitation of Catholicism and not worth the effort. Perhaps OP should ask him outright if this is the case.

[Anonymous]

this thread has pretty much rehashed why my last relationship broke up. She was a devout catholic and I am an athiest and wouldn't convert and/or agree that our future kids would be raised catholic if we were to get married.

[Anonymous]

Probably for the better. I can't see a marriage between a devout Catholic and a doctrinaire atheist as one made in heaven, so to speak.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Probably for the better. I can't see a marriage between a devout Catholic and a doctrinaire atheist as one made in heaven, so to speak.

Catholics, not atheists, are the ones with doctrines.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous[b wrote:]A marriage in a mainstream Protestant church is valid enough to require annulment in the Catholic church[/b]. For example, let us say that OP's husband divorced her and wanted to remarry in the Catholic church. That first marriage in the Protestant church would have to be annulled first before he could remarry in the Catholic church.

We don't know the circumstances here. However, if OP's husband had a past of practicing Catholicism that he fell out of, as many do in their late teens and twenties, he could well be having regrets about agreeing to raise the children Protestant.

OP has even suggested this may be the case. This could be the reason for his current passive aggressive stance on going to church. For some Catholics, Protestantism is but a pale imitation of Catholicism and not worth the effort. Perhaps OP should ask him outright if this is the case.

First I've heard that. All the annulments I know about are from people married in the Catholic church who want to marry again in the catholic church. Protestant marriages are not like living in sin, but don't require an annulment either to allow for a subsequent marriage in the Catholic church. From a catholic doctrine point of view, it's like the first marriage never happened.