husband won't go to church

[Anonymous]

For our entire marriage - 6 years - he's always had an excuse. Frankly, he's just lazy and doesn't want to get out of bed early on Sundays. I've tried late services but even 11 am is too early for him. We now have a child and I'd love us to go together, so any advice?

[Anonymous]

Let him be?

[Anonymous]

I would honestly be more apt to do that if he wasn't harping on me about not being devout enough.

[Anonymous]

Go with a friend. My H does not go either, it's called freedom of religion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would honestly be more apt to do that if he wasn't harping on me about not being devout enough.

Then tell him to put up or shut up. And remind him that God is watching his behavior too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go with a friend. My H does not go either, it's called freedom of religion.

NP, but huh?? That's a political and legal term.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he doesn't believe in God or organized religion? Have you looked together for a church you both like?

[Anonymous]

We have. He's Catholic and was practicing until we left DC shortly after our wedding. Now he has a choice of two Catholic churches and doesn't like either. Won't attend a Protestant church - "too early". I suppose it's most likely more than that.

[Anonymous]

Some people just don't like to go to church. Maybe he felt forced before and now sees an opportunity to stop.

Start going with your child since it's important to you. He may join you if you get involved in activities outside of church with new friends and that may lead to more. Or he might not. But go for you. There are a few families at mine where it is one spouse and not the other, but the other will come occasionally, and we often see them both at functions outside of the service.

But again, go for you, not with any expectations that he will join; it will lead to resentment on your part.

[Anonymous]

People go through phases tha last decades.

[Anonymous]

So take your child and go. I take both of my kids to synagogue every week. DH doesn't come. This is important to me and something I feel the children should attend. He doesn't stop me from taking them or make other family plans when he knows we'll be in shul and I don't ask him to come. He knows he is always welcome. The only time it's different is if the kids are on the bima for some reason. Then he has to come.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would honestly be more apt to do that if he wasn't harping on me about not being devout enough.

Then tell him to put up or shut up. And remind him that God is watching his behavior too.

^^ Pay no mind. This is probably a strongly religious person or a strongly non-religious person just trying to stir up trouble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some people just don't like to go to church. Maybe he felt forced before and now sees an opportunity to stop.

Start going with your child since it's important to you. He may join you if you get involved in activities outside of church with new friends and that may lead to more. Or he might not. But go for you. There are a few families at mine where it is one spouse and not the other, but the other will come occasionally, and we often see them both at functions outside of the service.

But again, go for you, not with any expectations that he will join; it will lead to resentment on your part.

ditto. It doesn't sound like he's preventing you from going with your child -- He just doesn't want to be a part of it.

If he's Catholic there are usually Sat or sunday evening services you can attend to fulfill your "obligation." If he doesn't even want to do that, he clearly isn't in to it.

this could ultimately be good for your child as well, who, assuming both you and Dad are morally strong ,will see that people can be good with or without going to church.

[Anonymous]

I am the wife and did not go for 4-5 years. We moved here about 15 years ago and could not find a very good church. They all seemed cold and like people were more concerned with how things looked than true faith. I stopped going, but dh thought kids needed church, so just started going to one even though it was far from perfect. I got hooked into going a few years ago through some volunteer work and the knowledge that my teens wouldn't go if I did not. I now really "feel blessed" by the liturgy and "fed" by receiving communion - look forward to going.

Just keep going; maybe dh will come around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would honestly be more apt to do that if he wasn't harping on me about not being devout enough.

Then tell him to put up or shut up. And remind him that God is watching his behavior too.

^^ Pay no mind. This is probably a strongly religious person or a strongly non-religious person just trying to stir up trouble.

Wrong, neither. It's one thing if OP was harping at her husband to go to church and he wasn't interested. It's totally different if he doesn't go and is telling her she's not being religious enough and is "doing it wrong" when he's not doing jack. So throw it in his face.