UVA Gang rape

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's another thought: teach your kids NOT to accept drinks from men. Teach your kids NOT to go to Fraternity parties.

You have amazing parental powers if you think everything you teach your kids is what they'll choose, every time, when they are legally adults and you have no idea where they are or what they're doing.

Also, while this would in theory solve the issue, there are plenty of other scenarios in which women are raped. As parents we cannot possibly think we can prepare our daughters for every scenario.

I went to UVa and I knew better than to ever be alone with a frat boy at a frat party. Yes, you can teach your kids common sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's another thought: teach your kids NOT to accept drinks from men. Teach your kids NOT to go to Fraternity parties.

You have amazing parental powers if you think everything you teach your kids is what they'll choose, every time, when they are legally adults and you have no idea where they are or what they're doing.

Also, while this would in theory solve the issue, there are plenty of other scenarios in which women are raped. As parents we cannot possibly think we can prepare our daughters for every scenario.

I went to UVa and I knew better than to ever be alone with a frat boy at a frat party. Yes, you can teach your kids common sense.

Nice victim blaming

[Anonymous]

Link to official UVA communications on this issue:
http://www.news.virginia.edu/content/important-university-virginia-messages-regarding-sexual-assault

The first is dated Nov 19, 2014. The last Nov 22, 2014. Today is Sunday Nov 23, 2014. Sullivan is suspending the frats until Jan 9, 2015. Now let's see the university calendar which shows Sullivan's putting a hold on frat social life is bullshit. Thanksgiving, a few days of class, then exams.

Thanksgiving recess Wednesday, November 26 - Sunday, November 30
Courses end Friday, December 5

Examinations Monday, December 8 - Tuesday, December 16


January Term 2015
Courses begin Friday, January 2 - Saturday, January 10

Spring Semester 2015
Courses begin Monday, January 12

[Anonymous]

The Gift of Fear should be required reading for every high school senior before they go off to college.

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gift_of_Fear

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I believe she was told that Charlottesville police had no jurisdiction over University. It was a coverup by the Univ., and like all coverups. It blew up in their face.

What? It's not like a military basei Native American land or international waters.

Doesn't the school have its own police force too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's another thought: teach your kids NOT to accept drinks from men. Teach your kids NOT to go to Fraternity parties.

You have amazing parental powers if you think everything you teach your kids is what they'll choose, every time, when they are legally adults and you have no idea where they are or what they're doing.

Also, while this would in theory solve the issue, there are plenty of other scenarios in which women are raped. As parents we cannot possibly think we can prepare our daughters for every scenario.

I went to UVa and I knew better than to ever be alone with a frat boy at a frat party. Yes, you can teach your kids common sense.

You are a fool. You don't need to be alone - you can be overpowered whether cold sober, drunk, and /or drugged. I also went to a school with very active Greek life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me clarify: what exactly could they do without charges being filed?

They can (and probably did) the usual window dressing BS of PSAs, safety flyers and trainings, and media campaigns...but that wouldn't stop criminal thugs like the frathouse rapists.

You know what works? Filing criminal charges...not relying on internal (fake) disciplinary hearings at a university (which has a vested interest in making problems disappear). You have to call the police. Working through the university is just as dumb as complaining to the head priest when your kid is raped by another priest...stupid...involve the police if you want action to be taken.

Yeah, I don't understand why some people choose these options over criminal prosecution. These are crimes committed by criminals. They need to be put in jail and labeled as convicted sex offenders to protect others.

Because criminal prosecutions drag on for a long time and you face an uphill battle when your entire history is raked over the coals. What were you wearing? Were you drinking? Have you ever flirted with a man? Basically, we know you did something to deserve this, so let's pinpoint how exactly you asked for it. Are your attackers wealthy? B/C their attorney is going to destroy you and make you wish you pretended this never happened. You have no idea what it's like to be far from home, making new friends, and relying on a shaky support network when something like this happens. You have no idea how an attack, a violation of this magnitude just utterly destroys you from the inside out. How you blame yourself for something as simple as going to a party or straightening your hair or wearing an outfit that was flattering. You aren't thinking clearly and when the first people you come in contact with talk about how your fragile little world is going to be further destroyed and your reputation ruined, you aren't exactly running to the local police station to sign up for more devastation and the prospect of facing potential threats from the people who already killed a huge part of you -- your safety, your security, your faith in people. Then, when you're brave enough to report to the school, you're met with phony support and gentle urging not to push charges b/c "it's so hard to prove" but maybe you should consider pursuing this lesser avenue through the university to "make the bad guys pay." Only then, the administration holds all the cards and nothing really happens to the animals b/c for the administration, it's all about protecting the school reputation and the almighty dollar. Does that help you understand a little bit better? You have absolutely no idea what kind of inner turmoil, self-doubt, and overwhelming fear is triggered by this kind of attack, particularly when you likely have to face your attackers and their friends on campus and fear harassment and retaliation around every corner.

Right, because the option of staying silent and suffering from depression and/or thoughts of suicide for years is so much easier and healthier. Either way, there is no painless solution, but I'd sure as hell report a criminal situation and suffer whatever blowback came of it, than make myself ill and spend every waking moment reliving a nightmare with no resolution ever to come, not to mention facing your attackers on campus and watching them laugh as they get away with rape. Does that help you understand a bit better?

NP, I have one question for you. Have you ever been a nineteen year old girl away from home (support system) and raped? Have you ever been RAPED? If not, bitch shut the fuck up, you have no idea what you would do. You just don't know. Every person who has experienced rape handles it their way, right or wrong at the time. But you don't know how you would handle it until you are put to the test.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you can and should teach your kids (both sons and daughters) common sense. Maybe it's because my dad is an attorney, but he and my mom started talking to us from a young age about safety issues, personal responsibility, etc. They also instilled a great deal of self esteem in us (my sisters and I), so we began HS realizing that just because a boy wants to hook up doesn't mean it's the best choice for you. Note: I'm not passing judgment on the UVA victim. Rather, I'm trying to dispel the myth that parents have zero control over their kids actions...because they do if they've taken the time to equip their kids to be strong and careful.

And I also grew up thinking that frat boys and sorority chicks are insecure losers who need to rent friends for four years in order to have a social life...and that's something I'll pass on to my kids.

Oh, and I'll definitely teach my kids to call the police AND me if something bad ever happens to them or their friends.

[Anonymous]

I know I'm going to be majorly flamed for putting this out there, but why is everyone so absolutely certain that the allegations are true?

[Anonymous]

UVA is representable of the morons made fun of in "Caddy Shack"'and "Animal House". They are the goofball dummies that are easy to trick.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't matter if the school has it's own police force. Here's what should have happened (and here's the life lesson every parent of a HS student should be sharing with their kids right now):

1. Go to the hospital...not campus health center. If you don't have a ride, then call 911 and request an ambulance.

2. The hospital will call the police. If they don't, then you do.

3. Call your parents...and don't speak with any school officials without your parents...because your parents have your best interest in mind...and the school doesn't.

4. Press charges. And hire a lawyer to discuss filing suit against the school as well as possible civil suits against the rapists (this would happen after the criminal case concludes, but it's best to have a lawyer involved as soon as possible. Note: most lawyers would take this case on a contingency basis.)

5. Change schools if you have to...that's always an option.

This is what I'd tell my kids.

[Anonymous]

Why do schools side with rapists and provide false information to victims? Seems like they are setting themselves up for liability and a public relations disaster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I believe she was told that Charlottesville police had no jurisdiction over University. It was a coverup by the Univ., and like all coverups. It blew up in their face.

What? It's not like a military basei Native American land or international waters.

Doesn't the school have its own police force too?

It's private security. They have no official law enforcement authority like state and federal law enforcement officers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's another thought: teach your kids NOT to accept drinks from men. Teach your kids NOT to go to Fraternity parties.

How about focusing on teaching your sons to respect women? These are our sons doing these acts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't matter if the school has it's own police force. Here's what should have happened (and here's the life lesson every parent of a HS student should be sharing with their kids right now):

1. Go to the hospital...not campus health center. If you don't have a ride, then call 911 and request an ambulance.

2. The hospital will call the police. If they don't, then you do.

3. Call your parents...and don't speak with any school officials without your parents...because your parents have your best interest in mind...and the school doesn't.

4. Press charges. And hire a lawyer to discuss filing suit against the school as well as possible civil suits against the rapists (this would happen after the criminal case concludes, but it's best to have a lawyer involved as soon as possible. Note: most lawyers would take this case on a contingency basis.)

5. Change schools if you have to...that's always an option.

This is what I'd tell my kids.

Great suggestion. When kids are far away from home and support, these words may give them courage and right steps to follow.