Explaining Attraction: Only Attracted to Other Race/Ethnicity

[Anonymous]

No one wants a skeevy jerk to be interested in them.

Everyone wants a great partner and frankly when the right person comes along - race is no bar!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am also really having a hard time politely explaining to (black) women that, although I find them attractive, and would date them, it would not be fair to them to get too serious because I may very well stray. Some feel let down, and some understand.

OP, for starters, why do you feel like you need to explain that you're not attracted to them because they're not white, and that if you continue to see them, you'll just cheat on them with a white woman? Why can't you just say "I think you're a really cool person but I don't think a romantic relationship is going to work between us" and leave it at that? Are you really telling them "I can't date you anymore because you're black"? If so, I'm surprised ANY of them understand.

Who people are attracted to physically varies. I am a white girl raised on Alternative Nation and I dated a lot of men who fit a basic physical stereotype of white, dark hair, medium build. I am now 33 years old and married to a Lebanese man who can essentially bench press me. You might find that later in your life, you are attracted to different things, physically, and I would hope that at all times in your life, you consider the things a woman has to offer that are not physical when pursuing a relationship with her.

Thanks. No one will ever explain ethnicity as the real reason for lack of romantic potential with anyone. That's never wise. And, like I inferred, I do have 'romantic relationships' with Black women, but that extra factor is just not there.

You are right. A woman's personality has far greater weighting than her physical attributes. Would I be opening a Pandora's Box if I say that might also influence my natural affinity to women of other races/ethnicity?

OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Science doesn't define "race" though, OP. Society does. Race is socially constructed and I think that your perceptions of women of color are driven by socially constructed stereotypes that you do not find appealing. Maybe you've got personal issues in your past related to a particular woman of color that in turn are fueling your lack of attraction. Maybe you are responding to the abundant messaging that the beauty ideal in this country of a light skinned woman.

This is a completely separate issue from your justification of potential infidelity based on race, though. That just makes you kind of a creep.

You are almost spot on. Race is often a social construction today and is an outdated mid-century concept. So that is why I prefer to identify on the basis of ethnicity. I can hardly see how you ascribe socially constructed stereotypes as the basis for my natural feeling, when the original post clearly stated that I have had intimate and romantic relationships with Black women? The fact that women of other ethnic backgrounds give our connection that extra factor, does not mean that I do not have a romantic connection with women of similar ethnicity.

Are you passively trying to say something else about prejudices in our society, but using my post as a weak pretext?

OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some people are attracted to opposites, that can include physical features as well. What's the diff. between a black man being attracted to white women, and a white man being attracted to white women but that are brunettes? Just the skin color, really (ok, maybe hair).

But you see what I mean... it's just a preference. Maybe you like light skin. Some people are attracted to dark skin. Blonde men usually don't do it for me. Some people are into foot fetish, some into some other fetish. Who can explain why? Just a preference.

+1. It's just that the 'nerd' that I am wants to know why we prefer opposites and how we define our opposites

OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm white, blonde 40s and prefer AA men. Always have, always will.

Thanks. Would love to hear more as to why do you think this is the case (your upbringing, physical, etc.,) and perhaps if it is just AA men, or 'black'/dark skin men in general. You are among those people I need to hear more from. Thanks.

OP

[Anonymous]

I resent the fact that this cornball brutha is trying to insinuate that his twisted personal preferences are prevalent among all black men. That's some bullshit.
Look here slim, those antebellum attitudes about worshipping white women - that's YOUR fetish don't try and promote that bullshit like it's the muthaf%kin norm. You wanna find out why you got a serious case of jungle fever go to a damn doctor and ask a psychologist what deep-seated issues are to blame for your behavior but don't perpetrate that fraud on here like you speak for all black men.
Fake ass punk ass clown.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm white, blonde 40s and prefer AA men. Always have, always will.

Thanks. Would love to hear more as to why do you think this is the case (your upbringing, physical, etc.,) and perhaps if it is just AA men, or 'black'/dark skin men in general. You are among those people I need to hear more from. Thanks.

OP

Daddy issues

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I resent the fact that this cornball brutha is trying to insinuate that his twisted personal preferences are prevalent among all black men. That's some bullshit.
Look here slim, those antebellum attitudes about worshipping white women - that's YOUR fetish don't try and promote that bullshit like it's the muthaf%kin norm. You wanna find out why you got a serious case of jungle fever go to a damn doctor and ask a psychologist what deep-seated issues are to blame for your behavior but don't perpetrate that fraud on here like you speak for all black men.
Fake ass punk ass clown.

Be still my beating heart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a black female and I think most black women I know don't really care if you want to date white women exclusively. They want men who want them --not to chase after a dead end. My friends and I have dated and married men of many races. The days of angst over whether or not you find us "sisters" attractive are largely over. It seems like the main people worrying about black men with white women are...black men and white women. FWIW, my kids are mixed and the flack I get from black men is ridiculous.

Same. My partner is white, and we get stares from insecure black men often

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm white, blonde 40s and prefer AA men. Always have, always will.

Thanks. Would love to hear more as to why do you think this is the case (your upbringing, physical, etc.,) and perhaps if it is just AA men, or 'black'/dark skin men in general. You are among those people I need to hear more from. Thanks.

OP

Daddy issues

Or obese

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I resent the fact that this cornball brutha is trying to insinuate that his twisted personal preferences are prevalent among all black men. That's some bullshit.
Look here slim, those antebellum attitudes about worshipping white women - that's YOUR fetish don't try and promote that bullshit like it's the muthaf%kin norm. You wanna find out why you got a serious case of jungle fever go to a damn doctor and ask a psychologist what deep-seated issues are to blame for your behavior but don't perpetrate that fraud on here like you speak for all black men.
Fake ass punk ass clown.

Be still my beating heart.

Yeah whatever I see from the sarcasm that denial isn't just a river in Egypt. Face it the OP is a clown. A weak-minded easily influenced and impressionable slave to propaganda. He's an advertising executive's wet dream - a stupid ass Stepin Fetchit who just blindly buys whatever bullshit society sells him.

"What'd ya say suh? You says white women is mo' beautiful and mo' bettah than all other women? Well yassuh massa suh I's do believe I think so too!"
Fake ass punk ass clown.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I resent the fact that this cornball brutha is trying to insinuate that his twisted personal preferences are prevalent among all black men. That's some bullshit.
Look here slim, those antebellum attitudes about worshipping white women - that's YOUR fetish don't try and promote that bullshit like it's the muthaf%kin norm. You wanna find out why you got a serious case of jungle fever go to a damn doctor and ask a psychologist what deep-seated issues are to blame for your behavior but don't perpetrate that fraud on here like you speak for all black men.
Fake ass punk ass clown.

Be still my beating heart.

Yeah whatever I see from the sarcasm that denial isn't just a river in Egypt. Face it the OP is a clown. A weak-minded easily influenced and impressionable slave to propaganda. He's an advertising executive's wet dream - a stupid ass Stepin Fetchit who just blindly buys whatever bullshit society sells him.

"What'd ya say suh? You says white women is mo' beautiful and mo' bettah than all other women? Well yassuh massa suh I's do believe I think so too!"
Fake ass punk ass clown.

Have to say I love this, and I agree. Plus this guy's responses are about the best I've read on DCUM. Thank you PP. *slow clap*

From now on every time I come across someone saying or doing something weak I'll be thinking (though I personally would never say it): "fake ass punk ass clown"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I resent the fact that this cornball brutha is trying to insinuate that his twisted personal preferences are prevalent among all black men. That's some bullshit.
Look here slim, those antebellum attitudes about worshipping white women - that's YOUR fetish don't try and promote that bullshit like it's the muthaf%kin norm. You wanna find out why you got a serious case of jungle fever go to a damn doctor and ask a psychologist what deep-seated issues are to blame for your behavior but don't perpetrate that fraud on here like you speak for all black men.
Fake ass punk ass clown.

Be still my beating heart.

Yeah whatever I see from the sarcasm that denial isn't just a river in Egypt. Face it the OP is a clown. A weak-minded easily influenced and impressionable slave to propaganda. He's an advertising executive's wet dream - a stupid ass Stepin Fetchit who just blindly buys whatever bullshit society sells him.

"What'd ya say suh? You says white women is mo' beautiful and mo' bettah than all other women? Well yassuh massa suh I's do believe I think so too!"
Fake ass punk ass clown.

What would you say if OP said he only liked Asian or Hispanic women? Just curious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I resent the fact that this cornball brutha is trying to insinuate that his twisted personal preferences are prevalent among all black men. That's some bullshit.
Look here slim, those antebellum attitudes about worshipping white women - that's YOUR fetish don't try and promote that bullshit like it's the muthaf%kin norm. You wanna find out why you got a serious case of jungle fever go to a damn doctor and ask a psychologist what deep-seated issues are to blame for your behavior but don't perpetrate that fraud on here like you speak for all black men.
Fake ass punk ass clown.

Be still my beating heart.

Yeah whatever I see from the sarcasm that denial isn't just a river in Egypt. Face it the OP is a clown. A weak-minded easily influenced and impressionable slave to propaganda. He's an advertising executive's wet dream - a stupid ass Stepin Fetchit who just blindly buys whatever bullshit society sells him.

"What'd ya say suh? You says white women is mo' beautiful and mo' bettah than all other women? Well yassuh massa suh I's do believe I think so too!"
Fake ass punk ass clown.

I'm not the Op O_O.
I'm a woman who is agreeing with you. I wasn't being sarcastic at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I resent the fact that this cornball brutha is trying to insinuate that his twisted personal preferences are prevalent among all black men. That's some bullshit.
Look here slim, those antebellum attitudes about worshipping white women - that's YOUR fetish don't try and promote that bullshit like it's the muthaf%kin norm. You wanna find out why you got a serious case of jungle fever go to a damn doctor and ask a psychologist what deep-seated issues are to blame for your behavior but don't perpetrate that fraud on here like you speak for all black men.
Fake ass punk ass clown.

Be still my beating heart.

Yeah whatever I see from the sarcasm that denial isn't just a river in Egypt. Face it the OP is a clown. A weak-minded easily influenced and impressionable slave to propaganda. He's an advertising executive's wet dream - a stupid ass Stepin Fetchit who just blindly buys whatever bullshit society sells him.

"What'd ya say suh? You says white women is mo' beautiful and mo' bettah than all other women? Well yassuh massa suh I's do believe I think so too!"
Fake ass punk ass clown.

What would you say if OP said he only liked Asian or Hispanic women? Just curious.

+1 That is why I am not even dignifying these responses with a comment, because there is a gaping gulf in basic reasoning abilities here. The writing alone intimates literacy challenges....

OP.