Explaining Attraction: Only Attracted to Other Race/Ethnicity
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
Firstly the disclaimer: I am not a troll, I am not discriminating against any race/ethnicity, I am not passively promoting anything. I just have a genuine question, and am inviting feedback. Whew! Now that I have cleared the air, I am hoping I can get some feedback on this. I am an early 30s, single w/o kids, black male (not American, but close enough) and I only seem to be attracted to non-black women. I have female friends from all continents, but personally, I have only (intimately) dated Black Caribbean, Black African, White European (Western, Central and East), White British, Mixed (black and white), and Persian. Honestly, I only ever feel that extra hmmm hmmm hmmm when I am with a non-black female, usually white. I am also really having a hard time politely explaining to (black) women that, although I find them attractive, and would date them, it would not be fair to them to get too serious because I may very well stray. Some feel let down, and some understand. However, I owe them the dignity to be totally honest and up front, but I am also having a hard time trying to explain this feeling to myself. This is not to say I have not seen white or non-black women who I totally pass on. I am NOT attracted to any and everything non-black! It is just that when I am attracted, this attraction is more intense usually with white women. It is more than the sexual/physiological aspect for me. It's some other psychological trigger that does it for me every time. I don't know if it has anything to do with only growing up with women, only having sisters, or the usual assumptions about educated/professional black men. I can't seem to find anything scientific to explain why I only feel that extra thing for these other women. So I am throwing it out, and asking for feedback or any likely explanations. Is anyone else in this position (male or female), or you know of others' experiences? |
Anonymous
| I am only attracted to blonde white women and I am not white. |
Anonymous
Who isn't |
Anonymous
| I'm a black female and I think most black women I know don't really care if you want to date white women exclusively. They want men who want them --not to chase after a dead end. My friends and I have dated and married men of many races. The days of angst over whether or not you find us "sisters" attractive are largely over. It seems like the main people worrying about black men with white women are...black men and white women. FWIW, my kids are mixed and the flack I get from black men is ridiculous. |
Anonymous
| I used to prefer black men physically when I was in my 20s. I outgrew it. I don't think it has to be a lifelong thing. However, what role does personality, etc. play for you? Are those just not as strong as physical attraction? When those become more important, I think you'll find your physical attraction expand to include different types of women. |
Anonymous
My DH who is white European. He's attracted to darker tones, like me 
|
Anonymous
|
Likely explanation...
You're an individual. You like what you like. Why do you need further explanation/justification? |
Anonymous
Why would you need anyone's opinion on this? It is what it is. A matter of preference. |
Anonymous
My ex doesn't like blondes though he comes from a land of blondes. He thinks they're cows. |
Anonymous
Somebody give the OP a couple of quarters...
|
Anonymous
+1. No different than white guys who are only drawn to Asian women or white women who like Latinos or whatever. You like what you like. |
Anonymous
| Op, where did you grow up? I find myself attracted to WASPy looking men because I grew up in that environment. I'm not a WASP. |
Anonymous
he's lying to you |
Anonymous
| A lot of white guys are attracted to Oriental women. |
Anonymous
Yeah, but a lot of Asian women find "yellow fever" pretty skeevy, so I don't know if that should be held up to OP as a positive example. |