Explaining Attraction: Only Attracted to Other Race/Ethnicity

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of white guys are attracted to Oriental women.

Yeah, but a lot of Asian women find "yellow fever" pretty skeevy, so I don't know if that should be held up to OP as a positive example.

No one is making a judgment one way or the other (except you). People are just making the comparison to a very common other-ethnicity attraction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of white guys are attracted to Oriental women.

Oriental? Is this the 50s?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am also really having a hard time politely explaining to (black) women that, although I find them attractive, and would date them, it would not be fair to them to get too serious because I may very well stray. Some feel let down, and some understand. However, I owe them the dignity to be totally honest and up front, but I am also having a hard time trying to explain this feeling to myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am also really having a hard time politely explaining to (black) women that, although I find them attractive, and would date them, it would not be fair to them to get too serious because I may very well stray. Some feel let down, and some understand. However, I owe them the dignity to be totally honest and up front, but I am also having a hard time trying to explain this feeling to myself.

LOL! I have to ask - are you the person who posted the Jeannie Bueller gif on my cockroach thread a few months ago? If so you are my favorite poster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am also really having a hard time politely explaining to (black) women that, although I find them attractive, and would date them, it would not be fair to them to get too serious because I may very well stray. Some feel let down, and some understand.

OP, for starters, why do you feel like you need to explain that you're not attracted to them because they're not white, and that if you continue to see them, you'll just cheat on them with a white woman? Why can't you just say "I think you're a really cool person but I don't think a romantic relationship is going to work between us" and leave it at that? Are you really telling them "I can't date you anymore because you're black"? If so, I'm surprised ANY of them understand.

Who people are attracted to physically varies. I am a white girl raised on Alternative Nation and I dated a lot of men who fit a basic physical stereotype of white, dark hair, medium build. I am now 33 years old and married to a Lebanese man who can essentially bench press me. You might find that later in your life, you are attracted to different things, physically, and I would hope that at all times in your life, you consider the things a woman has to offer that are not physical when pursuing a relationship with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am also really having a hard time politely explaining to (black) women that, although I find them attractive, and would date them, it would not be fair to them to get too serious because I may very well stray. Some feel let down, and some understand. However, I owe them the dignity to be totally honest and up front, but I am also having a hard time trying to explain this feeling to myself.

Agreed. Feel free to leave that part out of your conversations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am only attracted to blonde white women and I am not white.

Who isn't

My DH who is white European. He's attracted to darker tones, like me

My ex doesn't like blondes though he comes from a land of blondes. He thinks they're cows.

he's lying to you

No he has a type and it's not blondes.

[Anonymous]

I am the OP. Thanks for the feedback so far. I am well aware that no one should care what I like, or what my preferences are. I am also well aware that we are all wired differently, so clearly we will have diverse preferences in EVERYTHING, not just dating.

What I am not 'aware' of is what can help explain that special/extra thing I (and others with similar sentiments) feel for persons of other races/ethnicity. The fact is science, so far, has not been very successful in explaining attraction, so a good way is to hear the views of others. So that is why I am throwing it out to invite FEEDBACK from others with similar or know of similar experiences. I am not seeking 'justification' or need to boost my 'self esteem' by throwing this out to an online community.

So thanks for the feedback so far, but please don't misunderstand/assume that I have low self-esteem or somehow need justification for my preferences in anything. If you feel the same way about other races, please share, if you don't please feel free to lurk and read our experiences. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of white guys are attracted to Oriental women.

Oriental? Is this the 50s?

No, pp is from Ohio in the 50s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to prefer black men physically when I was in my 20s. I outgrew it. I don't think it has to be a lifelong thing. However, what role does personality, etc. play for you? Are those just not as strong as physical attraction? When those become more important, I think you'll find your physical attraction expand to include different types of women.[/quot
What do "outgrew it" and it doens't have to be a lifelong thing" mean? I could make a ton of assumptions but just wondering what you meant.

[Anonymous]

Some people are attracted to opposites, that can include physical features as well. What's the diff. between a black man being attracted to white women, and a white man being attracted to white women but that are brunettes? Just the skin color, really (ok, maybe hair).

But you see what I mean... it's just a preference. Maybe you like light skin. Some people are attracted to dark skin. Blonde men usually don't do it for me. Some people are into foot fetish, some into some other fetish. Who can explain why? Just a preference.

[Anonymous]

Science doesn't define "race" though, OP. Society does. Race is socially constructed and I think that your perceptions of women of color are driven by socially constructed stereotypes that you do not find appealing. Maybe you've got personal issues in your past related to a particular woman of color that in turn are fueling your lack of attraction. Maybe you are responding to the abundant messaging that the beauty ideal in this country of a light skinned woman.

This is a completely separate issue from your justification of potential infidelity based on race, though. That just makes you kind of a creep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am only attracted to blonde white women and I am not white.

Who isn't

My DH who is white European. He's attracted to darker tones, like me

My ex doesn't like blondes though he comes from a land of blondes. He thinks they're cows.

he's lying to you

No he has a type and it's not blondes.

Men are attracted to blonde women it's science not an opinion or preference.
http://snowbrains.com/brain-post-the-science-behind-why-men-prefer-blondes/

[Anonymous]

I'm white, blonde 40s and prefer AA men. Always have, always will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm white, blonde 40s and prefer AA men. Always have, always will.

What is you figure like