Calling Alums of Non-Prestigious Colleges

[Anonymous]

The only person who has ever cast any aspersions on my SEC degree is my boss, who is something of a stuffed shirt.

It was an offhand comment, and I know he didn't mean to be offensive, but it definitely made me think less of him.

[Anonymous]

8:51 here: I should also add that my husband also has a degree from a less prestigious state school, but he's in a field where results and ability are much more important than pedigree (whereas I'm in a field closely aligned with academia and all its pedigree snobbery), so it's never come up for him.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think people are often surprised when I tell them I went to crappy state u. Since I have always had good jobs, I think people assume I went to something fancy. And then, my kid went to fancy Princeton, so they figure my husband and I went there which is hysterical since neither one of us could have gotten in.

[Anonymous]

Shouldn't you be proud that you've done well for yourself? I just don't understand this kind of insecurity at all. I attended public schools from 1st grade through master's, and I am proud to tell anyone that. The guy in the office next to mine went to HYP for college and grad school, the woman across the hall went to one of the "big 3" DC privates, to a top 5 SLAC, and to HYP for grad school. Yet here we all are, doing the same work and making similar salaries. I take pride in where I came from and how I got here. Where we went to school doesn't come up much at all, but the few times it has, I can dish it out very easily. ("What, they don't do it that way at Haahvaad?") I like to think part of my role is keepin' it real, so to speak.

Don't let this shit bother you. If someone makes some cutting remark, just smile ruefully and say yep, you got your degree in corn-pickin'. Whatever. Who cares what these people think? Why are you still hanging out with people who act and think like middle-schoolers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:17:04, I think I should explain those social situations before. I'm more talking about people who knew me as a teenager - those people are very successful and many of them are in DC. Relatives, friends from high school, and so on. They are social butterflies so I get invited to their get-togethers, we have common friends, and eventually over the course of a conversation people DO ask you what school you went to.

I'd rather not reveal my job for anonymity purposes but it is white-collar, demanding, and I earn in the six figures though less than 300k.

I'm sure someone has said this on this thread by now but I'll say it again -- you need to find new social circles. I don't know anyone who cares about where anyone else went to college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Shouldn't you be proud that you've done well for yourself? I just don't understand this kind of insecurity at all. I attended public schools from 1st grade through master's, and I am proud to tell anyone that. The guy in the office next to mine went to HYP for college and grad school, the woman across the hall went to one of the "big 3" DC privates, to a top 5 SLAC, and to HYP for grad school. Yet here we all are, doing the same work and making similar salaries. I take pride in where I came from and how I got here. Where we went to school doesn't come up much at all, but the few times it has, I can dish it out very easily. ("What, they don't do it that way at Haahvaad?") I like to think part of my role is keepin' it real, so to speak.

Don't let this shit bother you. If someone makes some cutting remark, just smile ruefully and say yep, you got your degree in corn-pickin'. Whatever. Who cares what these people think? Why are you still hanging out with people who act and think like middle-schoolers?

+1. I like your style.

[Anonymous]

I've come to a conclusion that there is always a "pecking order" in life. Rich, super rich, ultra rich, old v. new money. The same goes for schools and every other category of "prestige".

If people are truly secure with themselves, they don't need to put others down. Perhaps, these "friends" peaked too early in life.

[Anonymous]

Pecking order
1) good looking, good smelling, optimistic , hard working .






Last... Arrogant , ugly , Ivy League toilet cloggers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It might not be well known everywhere but IU is a solid school with a good rep.

I have two degrees from I.U. I do well in my field, though I don't make as much as you and would love to know your degrees OP, and your profession. When I mention the department I got my degrees from, people always say "Oh, that is a really good school at IU!" IU has some really good departments - Business, Music, Journalism, SPEA etc.

You are too self conscious about this stuff. Ivy-who cares?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Indiana is a good school with a very good law school. Please try to lose the chip on your shoulder.

I went to twp Ivies and would be delighted if my kid went to Indiana. I had a cousin who went there and loved it. I saw "Breaking Away" when I was younger and thought the campus was beautiful. The kids from our local HS who go there seem well-rounded.

I'm sorry if you hang out with jerks who haven't grown up yet (or if you assume that people who went to Ivies will judge you negatively).

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm tired of having to prove that I'm smart after someone in my social circle asks where I went to school, or having relatively make snide comments about my success "despite" coming from a school in flyover country. You would think people would stop caring about your alma mater once you reach middle age, but take it from me that this is not true.

In many social circles, discussion of alma maters is not too frequent by middle age. Sounds like your social circle is quirky that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:By which I mean a school that isn't in the top 20 or so universities. For those of us who went to no-name schools and then made successes of ourselves, how have you navigated the world and the surprise/scorn people show when you reveal your alma mater? For me it was worse because I went to a competitive private high school and came from a family where ALL of my cousins went to Ivies or top publics like Michigan-Ann Arbor and UVA. I went to Indiana University, a school nobody outside Indiana knows about or cares about. I've done well professionally (in my early thirties, married a DH from a similarly-ranked state school) but while people always recognize that I am smart, there is always a comment along the lines of, "You were wasted on that school/you must've been among the smartest kids there/oh, there are successful people from your school?" And sometimes there is downright nastiness.


I'm curious. If you went to such a competitive high school, why did you choose Indiana University in the first place, and not an Ivy, public Ivy, or more competitive school than IU?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It might not be well known everywhere but IU is a solid school with a good rep.

What's "IU"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know, I am starting to realize I need to cut these friends loose, that is partly why I made this thread.

But it's difficult because I've known them since high school, I feel like I have invested so much of my life with them. And I feel like I will be "missing out" on something if I fade them out of my life.

On the other hand I keep thinking, "Fuck it, if you can't accept me as I am and treat me as an equal and with respect, then I don't want to spend anymore time in your company."

This is also what bothers me. It's one thing to make a comment once or twice but, fer gosh sakes, they keep on going on about it even though you've been hanging out for years? What is wrong with these people? They must be deeply insecure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Indiana is a good school with a very good law school. Please try to lose the chip on your shoulder.

I went to twp Ivies and would be delighted if my kid went to Indiana. I had a cousin who went there and loved it. I saw "Breaking Away" when I was younger and thought the campus was beautiful. The kids from our local HS who go there seem well-rounded.

I'm sorry if you hang out with jerks who haven't grown up yet (or if you assume that people who went to Ivies will judge you negatively).

Breaking Away is a fabulous movie!