single mother difficulty meeting single men

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You want the best but you have dings. You need to either make up for your short comings by looks, personality, money or age. It's like a used car kbb value, everyone thinks they are excellent while in reality most people fall into average to good condition. Maybe you can get in that excellent condition by paint (beauty), millage(age), new tires (boob job) etc...

LOVE this analogy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know you come to any thread about single moms dating to make them feel shitty about themselves.

There's nothing wrong with single mothers talking about dating. The problem is that the threads here from single mothers on dating are DRIPPING with entitlement and outrageous expectations, mostly because everyone here says you can "have it all," which is completely false.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:so put the laptops away, go outside and play with your skateboards and leave the real women to the real men.

~divorced dad

Sounds good to me, divorced dad. You can have all the women with baggage, leaving the attractive, baggage-free women for the rest of us.

God speed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know you come to any thread about single moms dating to make them feel shitty about themselves.

There's nothing wrong with single mothers talking about dating. The problem is that the threads here from single mothers on dating are DRIPPING with entitlement and outrageous expectations, mostly because everyone here says you can "have it all," which is completely false.

Dripping with entitlement?? Most just ask where they can meet single men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, if you're thinking about divorce, keep in mind:

1. No man wants to raise (or deal with, or see, or hear) some other man's spawn.

2. You're a lot less physically attractive than you were before you got married the first time. The father of your children can overlook that. Other men, not so much.

Bingo! But that is not what women on this board want to hear because they feel that it is owed to them that some guy would love to take on parenting children who were produced from a relationship with some other guy who may or may not be involved in the kids life including the financial burden of taking care of them if the mother does not have enough income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, if you're thinking about divorce, keep in mind:

1. No man wants to raise (or deal with, or see, or hear) some other man's spawn.

2. You're a lot less physically attractive than you were before you got married the first time. The father of your children can overlook that. Other men, not so much.

This isn't quite true. Other, single men with children are usually OK with women who have kids.

That being said, don't get mad at childless men who are scared away by your kids. Children are scary when you don't have any, and it's honestly a lot to ask of someone who has never has children.

Some single fathers may be OK with this but others don't need that complication when there are lots of single women who are drawn to guys who are successful especially if they look halfway decent.

[Anonymous]

I married a single mother who had a couple of kids and so did I from my previous marriage.

The good part is that the woman I married is absolutely awesome. The bad part is that for several years dealing with her kids from her prior marriage was a fucking nightmare which I would not wish on anyone in the world. It came pretty close to us splitting up over conflicts relating to her kids.

So my advice to any guy taking on step-children is to think long and hard because I assure you that the dynamics involved are more often than not a time bomb waiting to go off. If the ex is involved that can make things even more complicated.

Parents have conflicts in raising children even when they are not step-children. When one introduces the dynamic of the kids being from another relationship, the potential for conflicts and how best to deal with them becomes infinitely more hazardous.

Interesting article below about the high failure rate in second and third marriages and it is not all to do with step children but it is a contributing factor.

http://www.examiner.com/article/why-does-divorce-rate-go-up-second-and-third-marriages

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know you come to any thread about single moms dating to make them feel shitty about themselves.

There's nothing wrong with single mothers talking about dating. The problem is that the threads here from single mothers on dating are DRIPPING with entitlement and outrageous expectations, mostly because everyone here says you can "have it all," which is completely false.

Dripping with entitlement?? Most just ask where they can meet single men.

I agree that no one's posts should drip with entitlement. That said, this is DCUM. Please look at all the OTHER threads and then get back to me about entitlement. You could, for example, go check out the thread written by a self-described social climber who IN ADVANCE requests no judgment about her priorities.

Threads like this almost always contain the following posts:

- "How old are your kids?" (Sometimes, as in this thread, this is a legit question, because the age of the kids DOES impact the ability to date, but it's often followed up by...)
- "Maybe you should just focus on your kids/yourself and think about why you make such bad decisions." (As in the other thread about single moms dating that is active right now.)

[Anonymous]

Do you asshats have to interject yourself into every thread about single parents? This is a parenting message board. If you don't like that, go find another site. You've made your point 500 times and nobody gives a fuck. If you don't want to date a single mother, then don't date one. It really us that simple.

[Anonymous]

OP, go out with your friends, get a hobby, or try online dating. All of these are good ways to meet men. If you don't have time for these because you are focusing on your kid, then you may want to hold off a couple of years before dating. Toddlers are intense. And please ignore the weirdo who keeps posting about single mothers' entitlement complex. Everyone is entitled to a relationship that makes them happy. Know what you want, don't settle, but also work on being happy with what you have. I'm a single parent who is actively dating and I get way more dates than my single childless friends--I'm also happier. it's all about what you project to those around you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, go out with your friends, get a hobby, or try online dating. All of these are good ways to meet men. If you don't have time for these because you are focusing on your kid, then you may want to hold off a couple of years before dating. Toddlers are intense. And please ignore the weirdo who keeps posting about single mothers' entitlement complex. Everyone is entitled to a relationship that makes them happy. Know what you want, don't settle, but also work on being happy with what you have. I'm a single parent who is actively dating and I get way more dates than my single childless friends--I'm also happier. it's all about what you project to those around you.

Thank you. Who would have thought the last post would be the most sensible. I think it will just take time before I meet an eligible person I can strike up a conversation with. Right now I do the aformentioned things, but I haven't had the opportunity to just talk to anyone. I don't know what it is. Maybe the stars aren't aligned. However, i'm persistent and will not give up thinking i am entitled to a sustainable relationship outside of my toddler.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, go out with your friends, get a hobby, or try online dating. All of these are good ways to meet men. If you don't have time for these because you are focusing on your kid, then you may want to hold off a couple of years before dating. Toddlers are intense. And please ignore the weirdo who keeps posting about single mothers' entitlement complex. Everyone is entitled to a relationship that makes them happy. Know what you want, don't settle, but also work on being happy with what you have. I'm a single parent who is actively dating and I get way more dates than my single childless friends--I'm also happier. it's all about what you project to those around you.

Thank you. Who would have thought the last post would be the most sensible. I think it will just take time before I meet an eligible person I can strike up a conversation with. Right now I do the aformentioned things, but I haven't had the opportunity to just talk to anyone. I don't know what it is. Maybe the stars aren't aligned. However, i'm persistent and will not give up thinking i am entitled to a sustainable relationship outside of my toddler.

By the way, PP, OP, DD, DH, etc. is there a dictionary somewhere for all of these?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I am attractive and just as attractive if not more so than my other friends that are married.

Nobody cares. You have major baggage, both your "built-in" family and your desperation. What successful man with options would want to run into that?

There has got to be an easier way and my child's age definitely cannot be the reson why no one has crossed my path.

Classic. Take some responsibility for yourself. "Why no one has crossed my path." Get out of here.

My fellow bitter poster, my original post demonstrates my self responsibility; however, sitting and wallowing in self-doubt not reaching out would be the opposite and sadly exemplify your worthless statement. And, by the way, as for "nobody cares", all 4 pages of statements from all DCUM contributors, whether encouraging or spiteful, represent enough caring about this issue to place one's hands on a keyboard and share his/her minute to infinite wisdom. Even you cared enough to stop by. So thanks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you asshats have to interject yourself into every thread about single parents? This is a parenting message board. If you don't like that, go find another site. You've made your point 500 times and nobody gives a fuck. If you don't want to date a single mother, then don't date one. It really us that simple.

Well, you obviously give a fuck otherwise you would not be responding and ranting about it.

And if you don't like the opinions of those who express reservations about the negatives of dating a single mother then just move on. It really is that simple.

To quote the inimitable words of Shakespeare: "The lady doth protest too much, methinks"!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you asshats have to interject yourself into every thread about single parents? This is a parenting message board. If you don't like that, go find another site. You've made your point 500 times and nobody gives a fuck. If you don't want to date a single mother, then don't date one. It really us that simple.

Well, you obviously give a fuck otherwise you would not be responding and ranting about it.

And if you don't like the opinions of those who express reservations about the negatives of dating a single mother then just move on. It really is that simple.

To quote the inimitable words of Shakespeare: "The lady doth protest too much, methinks"!

good for you for crossing a book off your summer reading list.

Listen, adults are trying to have a serious discussion here so just accept your place at the small table and when you grow some hair on your chest and after your voice drops, then you may ask to come back here and participate.