Please help me not lose my patience or mind

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I'm 90 I'm going to reach over and scrape butter off the toast of whoever I please, even if they're strangers In restaurants .

I'm guessing no one will want you around if you behave that way. Have fun playing solitaire in the home.

OP: no question grandma is rude, out of line and annoying, but you know you've just got to take a deep breath and hang in there. Good luck to you.

Not a very nice comment. Maybe you'll be playing solitaire yourself one day. Don't make me scrape off your butter PP.

Oh yes, but the comment by the PP about doing whatever they please was so nice.

It was a joke, meant to illustrate a point. Do you really think I'm looking forward to being 90 and scraping the butter off of strangers' toast? I do not.

So was the response, same idea. Guess that pp or you can dish it out but can't take it.

[Anonymous]

OP, has Grandma always been this way?

Also, I feel for you (and your parents!). Are there any other relatives who could pitch in...maybe take Grandma to church or lunch to give you a short break? Or maybe ask a friend to take your DCs for an afternoon...Grandma probably loves them to bits but maybe she needs a quiet afternoon if that's what she's used to. It may help calm her down.

Just do what you can to get through the week and see if you can get a little extra support. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Bullshit. Anyone would feel strung out listening to criticism from someone they love NON-STOP. OPs reaction is normal and completely understandable. Better she should vent here then blow her top at grandma. And that grandma is totally rude and inappropriate.

I wonder has she always been this way. If not, then some of the previous advice about gently responding or ignoring is fine, but doesn't really make doing so easy. If she's just one of those hyper critical people she deserves a harsher response.

And it looks like you'd be the perfect person to deliver that harsh response.

Some of you have no inter-personal skills whatsoever. Yet here you are, giving advice on a Relationship forum like you're Dear Abby herself.

Look who's talking.

She asked for advice. It is what this forum is for.

I'll bet you are one of those hypercritical people. Just look at your post. Critical and dim-witted.

At least she's not cursing and calling other posters stupid.... Please go away, we don't want your "advice" here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Look who's talking.

She asked for advice. It is what this forum is for.

I'll bet you are one of those hypercritical people. Just look at your post. Critical and dim-witted.

At least she's not cursing and calling other posters stupid.... Please go away, we don't want your "advice" here.

Looks like the trolls (top PP) have figured out that Relationships Forum is a goldmine for the sort of psychological abuse they love to dish out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Look who's talking.

She asked for advice. It is what this forum is for.

I'll bet you are one of those hypercritical people. Just look at your post. Critical and dim-witted.

At least she's not cursing and calling other posters stupid.... Please go away, we don't want your "advice" here.

Looks like the trolls (top PP) have figured out that Relationships Forum is a goldmine for the sort of psychological abuse they love to dish out.

Calling people on bullshit is not abusive. (oh no, cover your virgin ears) The people bagging on OP are the ones who are abusive. I'm calling you all out on your boloney. OP is suffering at the hands of this "poor old lady. ha! The grandma is borderline abusive with her criticism and all these people saying the OP has no right to be upset. What a crock. If you tell her she has no right to be upset then, yes, you are stupid and you have no right to give advice.

[Anonymous]

Lots of times, people that age feel like a useless bump on a log. People don't really let them help (make meals, do dishes, etc) So they help instead by 'sharing advice' based on their decades of life experience. It is their way of feeling they are contributing something to the family / household. They are helping you raise the kids. Without a filter, it comes across as criticism. No need to get your knickers in a knot, just take something from what they say and turn it into a question. Ask her for recipes or ask her about how she raised her kids or ask her about her childhood or ask her to teach you something she knows (knitting etc). Make her feel useful and it will likely decrease the 'advice'.

[Anonymous]

OP, your parents live with this day in and day out. Taking it on for two weeks, knowing it is temporary is no big deal. Should give you a little more empathy for your parents who don't get breaks very often it seems.

[Anonymous]

My grandmother told me my 10 month old isn't walking yet because I'm not feeding him enough and he's too skinny. Thank God she doesn't live with us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My grandmother told me my 10 month old isn't walking yet because I'm not feeding him enough and he's too skinny. Thank God she doesn't live with us.

LOL!

[Anonymous]

OP, I've already posted a few times on thread (I'm the one going to scrape butter off strangers' toast....jk) but really i'm impressed with your grandmother. She is making some lucid comments and seems to know what she is talking about. She could be saying stuff like 20:26's grandmother. I bet she was a competent mother herself at the time. You have good genes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've heard that older people start to lose their filters. My mom is a good example of this.

I'.

Yes, there is some physical change in the brain that does this after 70 or so....

[Anonymous]

TheNewGirl wrote:SHE IS 90. Just back off. You are an adult with a healthy grandmother. Do you know how lucky you are?!

Oh my, to even have one single older female relative! If only! She could boss me around all she wanted, and say what she wants.

At age 90, she has earned the right to say what she likes.

[Anonymous]

It's like what I do when flying with my child. I repeat "this will end this will end" over and over.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like she is unhappy and/or depressed. My grandmother is similarly difficult. It's got to be tough being old.

Do enjoy that second glass of wine, write down all the nutty things she does, and do speak up when she crossed the line. But also, can you try and find something that will engage her more? Does she read? Is there a TV show she might like? Or a place she'd like to visit??

My grumpy g'ma (87) LOVES Jon Stewart!

[Anonymous]

Keep track of everything she says -- write it down or video tape it. B/c that sh*t will be hilarious with some time and distance. Come on, who wipes butter off someone else's toast?!?!?!