Please help me not lose my patience or mind

[Anonymous]

What's my grandma doing at your house?!
I just don't listen to mine - she is talking but it's like TV background noise in my mind; I just don't process the sound. Try it!

[Anonymous]

What's my grandma doing at your house?!
I just don't listen to mine - she is talking but it's like TV background noise in my mind; I just don't process the sound. Try it!

[Anonymous]

Sorry about the multiple post - having phone issues...

[Anonymous]

Critical old people are the worst? Is would be closer to accurate to say old people are critical. I think their filter just wears away.

[Anonymous]

We play Family Bingo. We look for all the awkward moments and stupid or annoying things the person will say/do. This helps us embrace all the comments and look forward to them. First person to get to Bingo wins (time away from the person)!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I'm 90 I'm going to reach over and scrape butter off the toast of whoever I please, even if they're strangers In restaurants .

I'm guessing no one will want you around if you behave that way. Have fun playing solitaire in the home.

OP: no question grandma is rude, out of line and annoying, but you know you've just got to take a deep breath and hang in there. Good luck to you.

Not a very nice comment. Maybe you'll be playing solitaire yourself one day. Don't make me scrape off your butter PP.

Oh yes, but the comment by the PP about doing whatever they please was so nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Critical old people are the worst? Really? I'd say younger people with no empathy are the worst.

I agree with the flabbergasted PP. SHE IS 90!!! Your complaints are like someone who complains about how rude a toddler is. Do you think at 90 you will give a crap what others think of you voicing your opinion? When I'm 90 I'm going to reach over and scrape butter off the toast of whoever I please, even if they're strangers in restaurants. It's nice she cares about your DC's butter and shoes IMO.

Wow. I'm pretty sure you've started your asshole phase early

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Critical old people are the worst? Really? I'd say younger people with no empathy are the worst.

I agree with the flabbergasted PP. SHE IS 90!!! Your complaints are like someone who complains about how rude a toddler is. Do you think at 90 you will give a crap what others think of you voicing your opinion? When I'm 90 I'm going to reach over and scrape butter off the toast of whoever I please, even if they're strangers in restaurants. It's nice she cares about your DC's butter and shoes IMO.

Wow. I'm pretty sure you've started your asshole phase early

Why do posters like PP, who clearly have no interest or skill in relationships, frequent the Relationship Forum? That wasn't my post, but this is my question.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she is bored and wishes you would ask her to help out with something. Pick an area she can be useful with and ask if she;d like to pitch in! Then that can be her area of focus and maybe she won't nitpick everything else.

Also, yes, make drinks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just stop being a control freak for the 2 weeks she is with you. This is temporary. It really doesn't matter if your child gets toast with less butter on it. This isn't personal. She isn't on some vendetta to ruin your life, she is an annoying 90 yr old.

OP isn't the one who's being a control freak...

She is. Grandma is just being a 90 year old. Not much of a filter, opinion about everything, in my day..... Op is the one upset because her kids didn't get x amount of butter on their toast. Who really cares. Getting mad at a 90 yr old for doing little things that are not harmful and just really annoying is a sign of a control freak. Her kids are actually going to be okay if great grandma scrapes some butter off their toast.

OP here. I'm really not being a control freak but I can see how it seems it from my post. I couldn't care less though that she wiped the butter off the toast. It's the fact that she criticized we put too much butter on it which was preceded by 35 other criticisms. I wonder how other posters would feel being constantly told all day long they are doing everything wrong. In a period of 5 mins I hear DC doesn't eat enough, he's too skinny (he's thin but tall and dr has zero concerns) so we should give him a milkshake every day but the bacon DH makes once a week on Sunday is SO bad for the children. X is tired, tell him to stop running around, you're his mother tell him to do something else (he's 3 he runs around a lot) but if he cries for ANYTHING I should just give it to him. While DH and I were cleaning up from dinner the other night she took 2 year old's plate and sat him in front of the tv to feed him because she decided he hadn't had enough to eat. Their bed time is 8:30 and at 8:25 when DH was still reading to DC in his room as part of his bedtime routine she said "why isn't he asleep yet, what is DH doing, it's late!" She criticizes practically every word out of DHs mouth and sits through dinner making disgruntled faces every time he says anything. So I'm sorry if I seem like a control freak. I don't really care what she DOES, it's what she SAYS that's getting hard to take. Yes, I know I'm so lucky to have my grandmother and that my children can have a relationship with her but that's why I came here looking for advice. It's pretty hard to just suck it up and deal when I'm being told all day long DH and I can't do anything right.

This is how and why the phrase "turn a deaf ear" was developed. You are taking this way too personally for a very temporary situation.

Bullshit. Anyone would feel strung out listening to criticism from someone they love NON-STOP. OPs reaction is normal and completely understandable. Better she should vent here then blow her top at grandma. And that grandma is totally rude and inappropriate.

I wonder has she always been this way. If not, then some of the previous advice about gently responding or ignoring is fine, but doesn't really make doing so easy. If she's just one of those hyper critical people she deserves a harsher response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Bullshit. Anyone would feel strung out listening to criticism from someone they love NON-STOP. OPs reaction is normal and completely understandable. Better she should vent here then blow her top at grandma. And that grandma is totally rude and inappropriate.

I wonder has she always been this way. If not, then some of the previous advice about gently responding or ignoring is fine, but doesn't really make doing so easy. If she's just one of those hyper critical people she deserves a harsher response.

And it looks like you'd be the perfect person to deliver that harsh response.

Some of you have no inter-personal skills whatsoever. Yet here you are, giving advice on a Relationship forum like you're Dear Abby herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I'm 90 I'm going to reach over and scrape butter off the toast of whoever I please, even if they're strangers In restaurants .

I'm guessing no one will want you around if you behave that way. Have fun playing solitaire in the home.

OP: no question grandma is rude, out of line and annoying, but you know you've just got to take a deep breath and hang in there. Good luck to you.

Not a very nice comment. Maybe you'll be playing solitaire yourself one day. Don't make me scrape off your butter PP.

Oh yes, but the comment by the PP about doing whatever they please was so nice.

It was a joke, meant to illustrate a point. Do you really think I'm looking forward to being 90 and scraping the butter off of strangers' toast? I do not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nod and smile. Many of our grandparents are the same way. My grandmother also does a running commentary. Don't engage. Agree but don't act. Change the topic. Ask her to tell you about her childhood or something - get her talking about herself. That way you will have a few moments peace where she isn't criticizing you.

I think this is the best idea. Get her talking about herself and she'll forget to criticize. It works with my grandma, and the bonus is I've been able to learn so much about her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Critical old people are the worst? Is would be closer to accurate to say old people are critical. I think their filter just wears away.

Yep. Nod. Smile. "Got it Grandma."
And occasionally sit with her and have a cup of tea. And just talk with her. Or better yet, just listen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Bullshit. Anyone would feel strung out listening to criticism from someone they love NON-STOP. OPs reaction is normal and completely understandable. Better she should vent here then blow her top at grandma. And that grandma is totally rude and inappropriate.

I wonder has she always been this way. If not, then some of the previous advice about gently responding or ignoring is fine, but doesn't really make doing so easy. If she's just one of those hyper critical people she deserves a harsher response.

And it looks like you'd be the perfect person to deliver that harsh response.

Some of you have no inter-personal skills whatsoever. Yet here you are, giving advice on a Relationship forum like you're Dear Abby herself.

Look who's talking.

She asked for advice. It is what this forum is for.

I'll bet you are one of those hypercritical people. Just look at your post. Critical and dim-witted.