Playdate ettiquette (esp. re lateness)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're going to be late (15 min) for this play date. It's at a park I've never been to. DD finished off her snacks without telling me and now we need to make a grocery run. I called the mom to warn her and she said we should just cancel. I said no, it would really disappoint the kids. Her reply was "Whatever."

Why are you blaming your daughter here? If she is young enough for playdates, she is too young to be snacking without you distributing them and, in the alternative, is too young to be charged with adding snacks to the grocery list. You must literally blame everyone you know for everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:15 minutes late? To a park? I wouldn't bat an eye and would appreciate the call. Absolutely do not understand that level of pettiness (apparently I'm in the minority) - surely the play date would have lasted longer than 20 minutes??

I agree with this. OP, in your shoes I would have just grabbed other food instead of going to the store (bread, dry cereal, raisins or other dried fruit) but if you really had nothing else at home your child would eat, then it's ok. Of course, I'm assuming you explained to the other mom that the grocery run was to grab a snack for your kid; otherwise it would've sounded like you were late because you chose to run a routine errand.

It doesn't sound like you and the other mom click, if her response was literally "whatever."

[Anonymous]

OP, the other mom is being totally absurd, really. It stinks that your daughter was disappointed but be glad to nip the friendship in the bud and avoid bigger disappointment later. Parents are sometimes late...poop, snacks, any one of a million reasons. It was considerate of you to call and I agree that she was probably looking for an easy out. A reasonable person would have explained that they had a tight schedule that day and suggested a reschedule, not said 'whatever' and cancelled.

[Anonymous]

You were in the wrong, OP, and you had no business posting while it was happening!!! Come on - take some responsibility here! But I doubt the other mother liked you even before this incident.

[Anonymous]

Wow, you guys are quite rigid! I try my hardest to be on time, but last minute things happen! A kid needs to poop, whatever. 15 minutes is nothing--especially at a playground where there is tons to do. I am usually the one on time, but I don't get my panties in a wad when my friends are late, it's just a fact of life with kids.

Op, you're better off without being friends with someone so uptight.

[Anonymous]

It's your excuse that was the problem. I would be mad, too. Always be on time for the first playdate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:15 minutes late? To a park? I wouldn't bat an eye and would appreciate the call. Absolutely do not understand that level of pettiness (apparently I'm in the minority) - surely the play date would have lasted longer than 20 minutes??

u

I agree. 15 minutes late is NBD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:15 minutes late? To a park? I wouldn't bat an eye and would appreciate the call. Absolutely do not understand that level of pettiness (apparently I'm in the minority) - surely the play date would have lasted longer than 20 minutes??

u

I agree. 15 minutes late is NBD.

A lot of you play fast and loose with other people's schedules. I generally choose not to believe that it's because we live in "this area," but c'mon. That's just rude.

[Anonymous]

I really don't understand why the other mom would get that upset- wouldn't she have almost been at the park anyway (or already there)? Why not just hang out with her kid and enjoy some time at the park (where she was going to be anyway) and have a shortened playdate? Especially if it was so close to her house. This makes no sense to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This was supposed to be our first play date . I agreed to go to her neighborhood because she stated the playground would be much nicer. I guess we'll never know. My daughter is very disappointed.
We're rarely tardy to anything and I thought I was doing the right thing by calling. 15 min was actually an overestimation as the grocery store is 5 min from my home and the snacks we need are beside the entrance.
But as I said, I now know that a hard line is the accepted practice.

You are right. You can never, ever go to that park again. It will forever be a mystery

The park is 30 minutes from where we live. I don't know anyone else who lives there. Not much call to go except I was trying to accommodate someone else's preference.

[Anonymous]

OP if your child has such special diet how come you ran out of her special food???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This was supposed to be our first play date . I agreed to go to her neighborhood because she stated the playground would be much nicer. I guess we'll never know. My daughter is very disappointed.
We're rarely tardy to anything and I thought I was doing the right thing by calling. 15 min was actually an overestimation as the grocery store is 5 min from my home and the snacks we need are beside the entrance.
But as I said, I now know that a hard line is the accepted practice.

You are right. You can never, ever go to that park again. It will forever be a mystery

The park is 30 minutes from where we live. I don't know anyone else who lives there. Not much call to go except I was trying to accommodate someone else's preference.

Hm. Sorry to pile on, but if it's 30 minutes away from you and you weren't there yet and you still had to make a grocery run, weren't you going to be much later than 15 minutes? She was rude saying "whatever," regardless, but it sounds like she did the math and realized how late you were really going to be. Chalk it up to a bad morning, and take your kid there anyway. (Since if you were already almost there, which you must have been to be estimating only 15 minutes late (which I still doubt), why not just go and enjoy with DD?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're going to be late (15 min) for this play date. It's at a park I've never been to. DD finished off her snacks without telling me and now we need to make a grocery run. I called the mom to warn her and she said we should just cancel. I said no, it would really disappoint the kids. Her reply was "Whatever."

Why are you blaming your daughter here? If she is young enough for playdates, she is too young to be snacking without you distributing them and, in the alternative, is too young to be charged with adding snacks to the grocery list. You must literally blame everyone you know for everything.

Not blaming my daughter just explaining why it caught me off guard. We keep her snacks in a drawer she can reach and encourage her to get her own snacks. She usually tells me when there's one left. It's never been an issue before.

I'm usually over prepared if I schedule things a day or two ahead. The mom called me an hour before to make arrangements so I didn't plan ahead. I started packing a day bag immediately, realized the drawer was empty, notified the mom, and within a few minutes she decided to cancel.

However, I do realize that this mom is probably unaware why I couldn't just grab a bag of fritos. I already sent her an apology text. She hasn't responded but I'm ok with that. Whoever said she didn't like me before, you may be right. I don't know her except for our daughters being in the same class, but that doesn't stop people from not liking others. I won't angst over it. My daughter and I picked up snacks and had a great afternoon at a park in our own neighborhood as I hope she and her daughter had in theirs.
I also don't know her side of things so I'm not judging her. I was just curious if 15 minutes was a deal-breaker in this area. Overwhelmingly, it is (and with such anger involved). So I know for the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're going to be late (15 min) for this play date. It's at a park I've never been to. DD finished off her snacks without telling me and now we need to make a grocery run. I called the mom to warn her and she said we should just cancel. I said no, it would really disappoint the kids. Her reply was "Whatever."

Why are you blaming your daughter here? If she is young enough for playdates, she is too young to be snacking without you distributing them and, in the alternative, is too young to be charged with adding snacks to the grocery list. You must literally blame everyone you know for everything.

Not blaming my daughter just explaining why it caught me off guard. We keep her snacks in a drawer she can reach and encourage her to get her own snacks. She usually tells me when there's one left. It's never been an issue before.

I'm usually over prepared if I schedule things a day or two ahead. The mom called me an hour before to make arrangements so I didn't plan ahead. I started packing a day bag immediately, realized the drawer was empty, notified the mom, and within a few minutes she decided to cancel.

However, I do realize that this mom is probably unaware why I couldn't just grab a bag of fritos. I already sent her an apology text. She hasn't responded but I'm ok with that. Whoever said she didn't like me before, you may be right. I don't know her except for our daughters being in the same class, but that doesn't stop people from not liking others. I won't angst over it. My daughter and I picked up snacks and had a great afternoon at a park in our own neighborhood as I hope she and her daughter had in theirs.
I also don't know her side of things so I'm not judging her. I was just curious if 15 minutes was a deal-breaker in this area. Overwhelmingly, it is (and with such anger involved). So I know for the future.

0
Sounds like you've done your best, OP. And she doesn't sound all that nice, but as you say, who knows what her morning was like. Not everyone is rigid about time (I'm not, bc I'm also sometimes on the other end of the stick), but a lot are. This is not an easygoing area, as you will soon see.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP if your child has such special diet how come you ran out of her special food???

Not all food, just snacks. It's been a long week. I guess I could have taken 20 minutes to cook her a turkey burger and packed it with ice in a cooler. Seemed simpler to hit the grocery store 5 mins from home.