Playdate ettiquette (esp. re lateness)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe your middle and high school teachers didn't have this sign posted in their classrooms, so I'll write it so you know it from now on. "A failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine." You weren't going to be "15 minutes" late, you were going to be way later, you probably pull this crap all the time and now when your friend has decided she didn't want to disappoint her kids and waste her time, you get huffy? You're so in the wrong here.[/quote

NP. I'd forgotten about that saying. Good one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe your middle and high school teachers didn't have this sign posted in their classrooms, so I'll write it so you know it from now on. "A failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine." You weren't going to be "15 minutes" late, you were going to be way later, you probably pull this crap all the time and now when your friend has decided she didn't want to disappoint her kids and waste her time, you get huffy? You're so in the wrong here.

BEST QUOTE EVER!!!!


And OP, you were totally wrong on this. Get over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe your middle and high school teachers didn't have this sign posted in their classrooms, so I'll write it so you know it from now on. "A failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine." You weren't going to be "15 minutes" late, you were going to be way later, you probably pull this crap all the time and now when your friend has decided she didn't want to disappoint her kids and waste her time, you get huffy? You're so in the wrong here.

NP. I'd forgotten about that saying. Good one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I guess I am in the wrong. She called me back and cancelled.

My kid has a medical condition that means she has to have access to a balanced snack. I prioritized my daughter's health over the plan made so that I could dash into a grocery store to grab something.

If being 15 minutes late to do this is outrageous, I'm glad that I know it now.

You were in the wrong. Life happens. A quick dash to the grocery store can end up taking much longer than expected, especially if there are only certain foods your daughter can eat and you don't have nay of those in the house. It doesn't sound outrageous, it just sounds high maintenance. You could have left earlier to go to the store. What would your daughter have eaten if you weren't going on the playdate? Surely you had something in the house she could eat.

Stop playing the victim, it just didn't work out.

lol, 15 minutes late so she bails? That is crazy to me.


I couldn't agree more. You are NOT the victim here OP - if your daughter has that sever of a medical problem, it is something you should have handled sooner. You made another mother and child wait for you for 15 minutes and that is rude. Other mothers have children with medical issues and still manage to be on time.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, Op, I'd be pissed too. You should have planned your day better. You should call her back to apologize.

[Anonymous]

No playdate is only 15 minutes long. In fact I highly doubt the playdate was only supposed to be 30 minutes long. I think it's safe to assume a playdate is at least an hour long. Which means she would have had 45 minutes instead of an hour. Why get worked up?! It's not like they were going to a scheduled activity like a movie or theater show or whatever. A public park...15 minutes late...there is no problem there. Sounds to me like the playdate Mom was happy for an easy excuse not to show up at all! The 'whatever' response kind of hints to that as well.

OP, I think letting people know why you will be late is important as well though. If they don't know your daughters condition it's hard to understand why someone wouldn't just go to the store after the playdate. Why someone doesn't just bring a banana they have at home. Why someone doesn't just ask "Hey we just ran out of snacks - will you bring something ad I'll bring something next time?" Etc.

If you say "Hey, I'm sorry but my daughter just ate all her snacks without letting me know - her (fill in condition) requires she only eat certain foods so I have to run and get something before heading to the park. I will be 15 minutes late because of that, sorry for the little wait I hope it's no problem." it's a VERY different story. A parent that has a problem with THAT might not be the right friend any way

[Anonymous]

I'm never late and I cannot stand when other people are late. I work hard to get my three kids and huge dog ready to go someplace and arrive on time - and I expect others to do the same. You were WAY WRONG, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You were both rude.

She was in the right to want to cancel, but saying whatever is totally rude.

Yes, both rude. And sort of strange. They deserve each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, I guess I am in the wrong. She called me back and cancelled.

My kid has a medical condition that means she has to have access to a balanced snack. I prioritized my daughter's health over the plan made so that I could dash into a grocery store to grab something.

If being 15 minutes late to do this is outrageous, I'm glad that I know it now.

Wait, did you create this thread while she was waiting for you at the park?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No playdate is only 15 minutes long. In fact I highly doubt the playdate was only supposed to be 30 minutes long. I think it's safe to assume a playdate is at least an hour long. Which means she would have had 45 minutes instead of an hour. Why get worked up?! It's not like they were going to a scheduled activity like a movie or theater show or whatever. A public park...15 minutes late...there is no problem there. Sounds to me like the playdate Mom was happy for an easy excuse not to show up at all! The 'whatever' response kind of hints to that as well.

OP, I think letting people know why you will be late is important as well though. If they don't know your daughters condition it's hard to understand why someone wouldn't just go to the store after the playdate. Why someone doesn't just bring a banana they have at home. Why someone doesn't just ask "Hey we just ran out of snacks - will you bring something ad I'll bring something next time?" Etc.

If you say "Hey, I'm sorry but my daughter just ate all her snacks without letting me know - her (fill in condition) requires she only eat certain foods so I have to run and get something before heading to the park. I will be 15 minutes late because of that, sorry for the little wait I hope it's no problem." it's a VERY different story. A parent that has a problem with THAT might not be the right friend any way

The "I'll be 15 minutes late" was hypothetical. Op hadn't even been to the store yet. To drive out of your way, park, go in, find the food, wait in line, pay, get back out to the car and head to the park is more than likely to take more than 15 minutes.

[Anonymous]

This was supposed to be our first play date . I agreed to go to her neighborhood because she stated the playground would be much nicer. I guess we'll never know. My daughter is very disappointed.
We're rarely tardy to anything and I thought I was doing the right thing by calling. 15 min was actually an overestimation as the grocery store is 5 min from my home and the snacks we need are beside the entrance.
But as I said, I now know that a hard line is the accepted practice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I guess I am in the wrong. She called me back and cancelled.

My kid has a medical condition that means she has to have access to a balanced snack. I prioritized my daughter's health over the plan made so that I could dash into a grocery store to grab something.

If being 15 minutes late to do this is outrageous, I'm glad that I know it now.

Wait, did you create this thread while she was waiting for you at the park?

Nope, she wasn't waiting for us at the park. She canceled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This was supposed to be our first play date . I agreed to go to her neighborhood because she stated the playground would be much nicer. I guess we'll never know. My daughter is very disappointed.
We're rarely tardy to anything and I thought I was doing the right thing by calling. 15 min was actually an overestimation as the grocery store is 5 min from my home and the snacks we need are beside the entrance.
But as I said, I now know that a hard line is the accepted practice.

You are right. You can never, ever go to that park again. It will forever be a mystery

[Anonymous]

If you were already friends, it would have been excusable. But since this was your first play date, I can understand whey she would have been annoyed -- and then she would have been spending her time at the park with you, annoyed. No fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This was supposed to be our first play date . I agreed to go to her neighborhood because she stated the playground would be much nicer. I guess we'll never know. My daughter is very disappointed.
We're rarely tardy to anything and I thought I was doing the right thing by calling. 15 min was actually an overestimation as the grocery store is 5 min from my home and the snacks we need are beside the entrance.
But as I said, I now know that a hard line is the accepted practice.

OP, you are annoying. I have bolded the most egocentric and annoying parts above. Whatever, indeed!