Playdate ettiquette (esp. re lateness)

[Anonymous]

We're going to be late (15 min) for this play date. It's at a park I've never been to. DD finished off her snacks without telling me and now we need to make a grocery run. I called the mom to warn her and she said we should just cancel. I said no, it would really disappoint the kids. Her reply was "Whatever."

[Anonymous]

Did you tell her you had to go make a grocery run? Why can't you do a grocery run after. If your kid finished off her snacks she doesn't need to eat again. I would by annoyed not by the lateness but by the excuse.

[Anonymous]

Why can't you do a grocery run after the park? Go play then shop later. You can bring any food from home as a snack or your daughter can get a snack after you play (if she is old enough to finish snacks without you knowing) then she is old enough to handle playing at the park without food.

Depending on the other mom's schedule I might do the same as her. Like her too I wouldn't be worried about the kids. They play at the park and with other kids all the time. I don't make my decisions on whether or not they would be disappointed.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you are being rude by going to the store and not prioritizing the plan you made. I would be very annoyed at you!

[Anonymous]

Well, I guess I am in the wrong. She called me back and cancelled.

My kid has a medical condition that means she has to have access to a balanced snack. I prioritized my daughter's health over the plan made so that I could dash into a grocery store to grab something.

If being 15 minutes late to do this is outrageous, I'm glad that I know it now.

[Anonymous]

Just go without the snacks. I would be annoyed with you, too.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't care if you were 15 minutes late and would appreciate the call. In fact, I probably wouldn't be bothered if you didn't show at all, provided you called to let me know and the park was not out of my way. It sounds like you have a reasonable excuse (no snacks for DC at the park).

I would also never say "whatever" to another person. She sounds rude and immature.

Sounds like you will have a better time without her. Enjoy a wonderful day at the park with your kids!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, I guess I am in the wrong. She called me back and cancelled.

My kid has a medical condition that means she has to have access to a balanced snack. I prioritized my daughter's health over the plan made so that I could dash into a grocery store to grab something.

If being 15 minutes late to do this is outrageous, I'm glad that I know it now.

You were in the wrong. Life happens. A quick dash to the grocery store can end up taking much longer than expected, especially if there are only certain foods your daughter can eat and you don't have nay of those in the house. It doesn't sound outrageous, it just sounds high maintenance. You could have left earlier to go to the store. What would your daughter have eaten if you weren't going on the playdate? Surely you had something in the house she could eat.

Stop playing the victim, it just didn't work out.

[Anonymous]

You were both rude.

She was in the right to want to cancel, but saying whatever is totally rude.

[Anonymous]

15 minutes late? To a park? I wouldn't bat an eye and would appreciate the call. Absolutely do not understand that level of pettiness (apparently I'm in the minority) - surely the play date would have lasted longer than 20 minutes??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:15 minutes late? To a park? I wouldn't bat an eye and would appreciate the call. Absolutely do not understand that level of pettiness (apparently I'm in the minority) - surely the play date would have lasted longer than 20 minutes??

+1 Sure, it was bad planning on OP's part, but 15 minutes late to a playdate in a public park with small children is nothing to get snippy over. Good grief.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:15 minutes late? To a park? I wouldn't bat an eye and would appreciate the call. Absolutely do not understand that level of pettiness (apparently I'm in the minority) - surely the play date would have lasted longer than 20 minutes??

I'm with you! And the "Whatever" comment would really torque me! OP, consider yourself lucky to have made an easy escape!

[Anonymous]

Maybe your middle and high school teachers didn't have this sign posted in their classrooms, so I'll write it so you know it from now on. "A failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine." You weren't going to be "15 minutes" late, you were going to be way later, you probably pull this crap all the time and now when your friend has decided she didn't want to disappoint her kids and waste her time, you get huffy? You're so in the wrong here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just go without the snacks. I would be annoyed with you, too.

This is me. I wouldn't necessarily be annoyed about the lateness, it's more the reason why you were late. However, I would give you a pass if I knew about your daughter's condition. Did this mother know? I do agree that her response to you was rude, but that it was well within her right to cancel. Some people are on strict schedules and have little patience for tardiness. Different strokes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I guess I am in the wrong. She called me back and cancelled.

My kid has a medical condition that means she has to have access to a balanced snack. I prioritized my daughter's health over the plan made so that I could dash into a grocery store to grab something.

If being 15 minutes late to do this is outrageous, I'm glad that I know it now.

You were in the wrong. Life happens. A quick dash to the grocery store can end up taking much longer than expected, especially if there are only certain foods your daughter can eat and you don't have nay of those in the house. It doesn't sound outrageous, it just sounds high maintenance. You could have left earlier to go to the store. What would your daughter have eaten if you weren't going on the playdate? Surely you had something in the house she could eat.

Stop playing the victim, it just didn't work out.

I couldn't agree more. You are NOT the victim here OP - if your daughter has that sever of a medical problem, it is something you should have handled sooner. You made another mother and child wait for you for 15 minutes and that is rude. Other mothers have children with medical issues and still manage to be on time.