to women how did you know when you definitely wanted a divorce? (other than a big explosive reason)

[Anonymous]

This thread is Exhibit A on why men should never marry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is Exhibit A on why men should never marry.

As a happily married SAHM w/an ordinary Fed DH, I beg to differ. A decent man who's home for dinner and plays with his kids and helps out their HW would be loved by almost any woman. OTOH, a CPOS would be equally despised.

A good man is hard to find but easy to cherish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If only we weren't anonymous we could start a support group. I have been teetering on the edge for four years now, you're lucky your child is nearly done with high school, mine's just starting. At least I know I could get another paying job and half the equity in our home would set me up in a reasonable 2-bedroom somewhere, but the havoc on my child is what's stopping me.

We're married in name only at this point and I wonder that my husband wouldn't be frustrated enough to leave on his own but somehow it's always the wife who initiates divorce. I'm thinking maybe his satisfaction at work (very successful) makes the crappy home life less of an issue for him.

I could have written this except my kids are middle and elementary school.
I recently had and ended an emotional affair with a guy from high school I had a crush on then and is also currently unhappy in his 15 year marriage. The 2+ year affair gave me a spring in my step as we IM-ed and video chatted during the day as he lived 1500 miles away.
I ended it when I visited him the second time on a girls weekend and felt he saw me as someone with a vagina and really didn't care about me as a person. I know I suck considering what I doing to my DH.
I'm 20 years into my marriage and think about taking "my own space" somewhere else but here once 2nd DC goes off to college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If only we weren't anonymous we could start a support group. I have been teetering on the edge for four years now, you're lucky your child is nearly done with high school, mine's just starting. At least I know I could get another paying job and half the equity in our home would set me up in a reasonable 2-bedroom somewhere, but the havoc on my child is what's stopping me.

We're married in name only at this point and I wonder that my husband wouldn't be frustrated enough to leave on his own but somehow it's always the wife who initiates divorce. I'm thinking maybe his satisfaction at work (very successful) makes the crappy home life less of an issue for him.

I could have written this except my kids are middle and elementary school.
I recently had and ended an emotional affair with a guy from high school I had a crush on then and is also currently unhappy in his 15 year marriage. The 2+ year affair gave me a spring in my step as we IM-ed and video chatted during the day as he lived 1500 miles away.
I ended it when I visited him the second time on a girls weekend and felt he saw me as someone with a vagina and really didn't care about me as a person. I know I suck considering what I doing to my DH.
I'm 20 years into my marriage and think about taking "my own space" somewhere else but here once 2nd DC goes off to college.

as he was just looking for sex as he and his DW rarely had sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If only we weren't anonymous we could start a support group. I have been teetering on the edge for four years now, you're lucky your child is nearly done with high school, mine's just starting. At least I know I could get another paying job and half the equity in our home would set me up in a reasonable 2-bedroom somewhere, but the havoc on my child is what's stopping me.

We're married in name only at this point and I wonder that my husband wouldn't be frustrated enough to leave on his own but somehow it's always the wife who initiates divorce. I'm thinking maybe his satisfaction at work (very successful) makes the crappy home life less of an issue for him.

I could have written this except my kids are middle and elementary school.
I recently had and ended an emotional affair with a guy from high school I had a crush on then and is also currently unhappy in his 15 year marriage. The 2+ year affair gave me a spring in my step as we IM-ed and video chatted during the day as he lived 1500 miles away.
I ended it when I visited him the second time on a girls weekend and felt he saw me as someone with a vagina and really didn't care about me as a person. I know I suck considering what I doing to my DH.
I'm 20 years into my marriage and think about taking "my own space" somewhere else but here once 2nd DC goes off to college.

Silly question, but do you ever TALK to your husband about how you feel? Do you ever have conversations about why you fell in love and got married and what has changed? Maybe instead of looking for solace from another unhappy person (and trust me, his wife probably has legitimate complaints), why don't you try to fix what is going on with the person who sleeps next to you ever night?

[Anonymous]

You should count your blessings and stay. You have no idea how hard dating is when you are older and no longer hot stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should count your blessings and stay. You have no idea how hard dating is when you are older and no longer hot stuff.

Oh please. Woman are the ones approached.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is Exhibit A on why men should never marry.

As a happily married SAHM w/an ordinary Fed DH, I beg to differ. A decent man who's home for dinner and plays with his kids and helps out their HW would be loved by almost any woman. OTOH, a CPOS would be equally despised.

A good man is hard to find but easy to cherish.

I am a good man, single and looking, and I practically throw myself out there. I am definitely not cherished, more like trashed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is Exhibit A on why men should never marry.

As a happily married SAHM w/an ordinary Fed DH, I beg to differ. A decent man who's home for dinner and plays with his kids and helps out their HW would be loved by almost any woman. OTOH, a CPOS would be equally despised.

A good man is hard to find but easy to cherish.

I am a good man, single and looking, and I practically throw myself out there. I am definitely not cherished, more like trashed.

Calling yourself a good man is a way to make yourself unattractive, especially when you say you throw yourself out there. There is a big range between a man who has a sign on his back that says, "I am needy, women please walk all over me" and an overgrown fratboy tool. Don't give off a desperate vibe. Go to the gym, dress nicely, show confidence. Dating, at least initially is a GAME. You have to follow some of the rules.