to women how did you know when you definitely wanted a divorce? (other than a big explosive reason)
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Anonymous
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For someone who is in a marriage that is for the most part OK, no infidelity, no abuse, etc......but just really unhappy and just don't feel "in love" anymore (25 years later). I enjoy my time alone more than with him, etc.....he is a difficult person to get along, very grumpy and moody, and i just don't have the tolerance (or desire) to put up with it or try to work it out with him......how do you know if you should just grin and bear things, knowing they could be much worse or know when its time to recognize it will not get much better and resign yourself to a lifetime of part time happiness.
The upside is he is an excellent provider, very well to do/successful so we live a very luxurious lifestyle but i know its not everything (though it does make life a lot more comfortable). Any sound advice or experiences you want to share that may shed some light on my situation. No I have not talked to him about how i am feeling because it would result in a major blowout and I am not up for it. |
Anonymous
| Lost all respect for DH as a result of his selfishness and laziness. |
Anonymous
| I sympathize OP. Trying to figure this out now. Hate living this way, and he is blissfully unaware. |
Anonymous
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OP,
Do you work? How old is your youngest child? |
Anonymous
| Wow. Sounds so familiar. I left a LTR with someone like this. Moody. Grumpy. Life on eggshells. Getting out was the best thing I ever did. We did not have kids though. If there were kids, I would try and stick it out. If kids are gone, just do it. It's not that things could be so much worse, it's that your life could be so much better. |
Anonymous
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Op here freelance part time but do not have to "work". This is more of a creative endeavor- and is a great outlet for me.
Just so confused do not want to be 60 and feeling like I missed the boat but then you hear stories of women regretting it due to a change in lifestyle and I will be the first to say its a great thing! I am 48 my youngest is 17. She is a senior in high school. |
Anonymous
| OP - Consult a divorce lawyer to find out your options. |
Anonymous
| Living with someone difficult to get along with is a grind and I was worn out from it. Waking up everyday was a chore. Let another person put up with this kind of person. |
Anonymous
As a DH in a similar strait I want to sympathize with you; but your concern about giving up your lifestyle caused me to lose all respect for you. Take the bad with the good, or get out and take the good with the bad. Otherwise you nothing more than a whore. Sounds harsh but its true. If you are staying with your DH because you don't want to give up your lifestyle that his work is paying for - how do you look yourself in the eye ? |
Anonymous
| Would it make sense to get a FT job, figuring you will need one eventually? In the meantime it might help shake up your dynamic and give you perspective. |
Anonymous
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PP a bit harsh. I commend op for admitting something I can assure nearly all women in her shoes do- put up to maintain their lifestyle. When there is big money- it is very hard to walk away when one is used to all the perks.
Sounds to me like she has stayed also because of the youngest still living at home. I just don't think most women will admit the real reason they stay but I assure you it is a hell of a lot harder to walk away from a rich crabby bastard than a poor crabby bastard! |
Anonymous
| Maybe consider seeing a therapist and a lawyer to know your viable options? |
Anonymous
Whore mentality. 
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Anonymous
| Wow someone is bitter! Whore Really? Don't think anyone can or should judge! |
Anonymous
| It's pretty freaking unsavory, though. Don't use him for his money. |